December was when I had my last appointments with my therapist and psychiatrist, and that is when they said they’d send out new ones in the new year. A month later and I’m still waiting for the letter. So I decided to call up their offices, to find out whether they’d made one and I just hadn’t got the letter. Turns out they haven’t even fucking made one with me. What a nice way to find out even my psychiatrist and therapist have given up with me, a fucking phone call with their receptionist. I don’t even know if this means they’ve discharged me or […]
Tag:
Appointments
Right now, I’m 20 hours away from the rest of my family and my friends. I’m taking online classes and getting new medication since I can’t get medication where I live.
It’s not very fun. I have therapy sessions every other day, doctor’s appointments, and I have my depression, paranoia, bipolarity, ptsd and ocd to deal with.
Guess what though? This is a vacation for me. When I go back to my school in November, the vacation’s over. When I go back, I have to plaster that smile back on my face. I’ll have to talk to my friends, pretend everything’s alright. It’s really exhausting to have […]
Raining endlessly, the usual bipolar weather of New England. Cold & drabby, yet a constant reminder of how she feels on a regular basis. Allows her to empathize with at least something, but ironically rain has no vitalities, schedules, appointments, nothing. Mere droplets, all without knowledge, lacking a single breath of life, just free falling, rhythmically dancing with not a even a slight reason or for any purpose. It’s all just there, forced to fall by the weathering ways of Earth’s atmosphere, its recycling. Yet may still compare with individuals prior to “living,”, born without a choice, forced to live amongst others, unknowing & dancing […]
I kinda made this profile because I wanted to tell someone my life story… And I don’t have anyone close to me that I want to share it with. So I am writing it here, anonymously.
But let’s take it from the beginning:
I’m a boy from Denmark, 19 years old at the moment, but that is not where my story starts. My story starts all the way back when I was a child. You see, I have always been bullied, first by the bigger kids in my kindergarten, then by the kids in my class in school. Therefore my parents quickly decided to teach me […]
I have missed three psychiatry appointments because I don’t want someone to tell me I’m depressed nor do I want to believe in the existence of depression. (Which is a damn contradiction cause I’m a psych major and I know it does). I don’t want pills. I don’t want to talk about how I feel. The furthest I ever got to getting help was to the door of my psychiatrist’s office. I freaked out and left. I’m doing a half-ass job in everything. My GPA went down wayyy low. Money, my biggest motivator doesn’t even wake me up in the morning for work anymore. Guess […]
Why is it so hard for me to let people in? Why do I put on a mask and hide my emotions? I can almost feel a curtain come down, blocking my soul from whoever may be there.
I just don’t know what to do. I feel stuck,trapped oddly enough by my family. My husband has too much at work, and I don’t know how my kids would handle me having a second stay in the hospital in one year. That’s why the permanent solution keeps rolling around in my brain. Just be done with all of this. There’s a […]
And I’m not too happy about that. Let’s hope they go well or I’m gonna really fire up. If I have any severe reactions to my procedures next week everybody’s gonna know about it because I’ll be dealing my mental state out to everyone.
For years I’ve been miserable. At night in high school I would lock my door at night before I went to bed. I would stay up until 3 or 4, or sometimes not go to bed at all. I’d cry and listen to music like a lot of insecure guys would like me. just made me feel worse and worse. Somewhere around 2, i’d finish my homework. And then get up at 630. High school=tiring.
College was better, but not much better. I started taking adderall since I took some and felt okay with myself for the first time of my life. Something like loving myself. […]
My life has always been messed up. The earliest memory I can remember was of my mum holding one of my arms and dragging my out the front door of my first home and my other hand reaching out for my dad who stood and watched. I was screaming and crying. I didn’t want to go.
I’ve lived in many homes since my mum and dad got divorced. And mum has had many boyfriends. One was Gavin who had a son. They were really nice at first but I got scared of Gavin. One day during one of Their arguments I was hungry so I […]
so today is the big day, my 16th birthday. it was great at school. i heard happy birthday from all of my friends, got all of the attention blah blah blah. that’s nice and all but what i would die for right now would be for my mom to tell me. it’s almost 4 oclock and i have yet to hear those 2 words come out of her mouth. this may sound selfish of me to some people. but i am just someone who lives and breathes for my mom to accept me, and to be interested in me. but oh well. i’m looking into […]
My name is Brittnee and I am 20 years old! I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and sentenced to a life of medication and therapist analyzing my every thought and move! I have been a cutter for 6 years and after my recent suicide attempt my parents made me move back home and my mother does a ~fresh cut check~ every single night. That’s where I have to go into her room and strip down to my bra and panties and she checks my body for new cuts! It’s humiliating. If I do have new cuts I am taken to the behavioral health […]
i know this will sound stupid but i honestly dont know what to do anymore. i am a 14 year old girl who suffers from diabetes, coeliacs disease, under active thyroid, and psoriasis. i hate my life! i think i suffer from depression but i dont know? ive never told anyone about how i feel, and at the moment its like everyday is a task and getting through it is very difficult!
i already feel bad posting this because some people are going through so much worse than me but being 14 with psoriasis is a living hell. when my friends look so nice in all of […]
It just seems I cant get a break recently. After all the drama and problems last week, I find out I`ll possibly need another root canal, which my mom cant afford. Shes been slamming stuff around and crying, just upset in general. She keeps saying all I asked you to do is brush your teeth, my credit is maxed out, your dad isnt going to help and then she quits talking to me period.
Its just stressing me out..I feel horrible I keep adding all this pressure, with my appointments and medicine..I cant even get myself to cry anymore. Im sick of being a burden to […]
I got told by many doctors and psychiatrists that I had depression around two/three years ago. Since then they have told me that “it will get better” or “you can be cured”. Lately, I haven’t noticed anything getting better at all. Actually, I’ve been feeling a lot worse than usual. A few weeks ago I had an appointment to see if I needed medication, they told me once again that “it will get better”. So, no medication. I’m not angry that I didn’t get it, I’m just sick of hearing the same thing over and over again.
My sister also has depression. But, unlike me, she […]
There’s a new girl who is in the waiting room at my psychiatrist’s office. She sits and waits while I sit and wait. She must be seeing someone else in the building at the same time as my appointment. She is pretty. She has more exposed cuts than anyone else I have seen. They look like they were put there deliberately. Most are completely healed. I want to say hi to her. I want to ask if she will be my friend. She looks sad and I feel crazy. Would it be wrong to ask […]
Why am I such a stupid fuck? I really cant stand myself. 2 hours by myself and I’m “in a mood” again. Wasn’t even contemplaiting suicide this morning because I was working a bit and suddenly, like a fingersnap, I just want to die. I remember that I despise myself. And that I’m the most disgusting monster on the planet.
I like being by myself, because I can do whatever I want. But I guess I really need distraction. Especially if I havent smoked weed yet. Thought I should smoke less so I didnt smoke yet. (no thats a lie I tell myself, I didnt earn […]
I am 12, almost 13. I wish i could have a normal, happy life. I just got out of an eating disorder treatment center, like 2 weeks ago. I still have to go back there for family therapy and doctors appointments and today, after i did my vitals(peeing in a cup and being weighed) they found something in my urine that was the first sign of starvation. And they said my weight has been dropping. I hate my life. I hate the way i look, i am so fat and ugly. I want to be skinny. I want to go to school online. I want […]
I have had an undiagnosed illness for 7 months now. My symptoms are too overwhelming to indicate here however it is of a medical nature not psychological. This illness has left me mostly bedridden, unable to leave the house except for dr’s appointments and unable to drive and struggling to walk.  I’m in my mid 30’s and had everything going for me. I mean everything. I considered my life to be almost perfect. I am a lover of all life has to offer and now all i can do is look out my bedroom window and see everyone else and everything living. My new doctor seems […]