Hate, depression, constant crying, constant suicidal thoughts, constant self-harm. Who am I? I wish I could remember but the image of who I used to be gets fuzzier, and fuzzier. Had I known I would feel such loneliness in the future, I would have ended my life on that faithful April 27, 2006. I’m surrounded by many who claim to love me, yet in my mind I’m trying to deal with the fact that I’ve been abandoned by everyone. Maybe I have and everyone is just pretending to be nice, all I ever meet are extremely nice people, and I can’t help but love them. I […]
Tag:
Attempt
4 years ago due to a stress induced issue during a relationship which may sound cliche but there was a large variety of issues which had piled on top of me and caused it.
i made a break attempt at well…..ending it all……obviously i cant go into details of what i did but its  a horrible thought that the only reason i woke up in hospital was because the bottle ran dry and i ran out things to swallow and i hadn’t broken the skin far enough….
Now given i was heavily inebriated when this venture occurred which didn’t help at all, i only have two memory’s from A&E firstly telling the nurse i didn’t want my family informed and […]
I found this site awhile back on one of my endless google searches for “suicide” and the like, and I’ve been putting off joining and posting until I had a more concrete idea of how the rest of my life was going to play out.
Now I know that it isn’t going to play out for very much longer. I’ve known for as long as I can remember that I would kill myself eventually, I’ve never been really, truly happy and have never had the help or the will to get better, so it really was just a matter of how long it would take my […]
Tonight I die. This is my 3rd attempt, and I think I finally got my suicide figured out. I am not mentally ill or depressed, right now I am actually quite calm. My story is simple, I had a good life but threw it away because I am a compulsive gambler. My friends and family bailed me out countless times and yet I don’t learn from my mistakes and dig myself back into the same hole again and again. I am a sinner and don’t deserve better. I just wish that before I go… I can give back all the money that I owe to […]
So i spent yesterday and moat of today in the hospital for an attempt at suicide i tried to overdose on sleeping pills that were prescribed to me. And now i failed again and feel like complete shit and a complete failure.
I’m 28 years old. Â I’ve been what I’d call a depressive since I was probably 14. Â I tried to kill myself when I was 16 by overdosing on my anti-depressants. Â I haven’t tried since, mainly because I saw what the first attempt did to my parents. Â I was very fortunate in my parents; they’re loving and supportive, and I probably wouldn’t be writing this if it wasn’t for them. Â I swore on my Grandmother’s grave that I would never try again. Â That vow has also helped stopped me. Â But it’s losing its effectiveness. Â I don’t see the point anymore. Â Why should […]
I can’t get it out of my head. I don’t know what to do. I should be a functioning college student but all I can think about is death. My death. Images, thoughts, impulses, plans…attempt…and I just can’t get it to go away. taking pills didn’t even make it go away, it just made my life more miserable than ever plus this overhanging feeling that I SHOULD have died so why on earth am I STILL here??? I want to get out and I don’t know how other than a shotgun to the head. I need out. […]
If you’re here, it is fairly likely that the specter of suicide is in your life.
Maybe you have attempted it before, or many times like me. Perhaps the fifth anniversary of your most serious soiree into intentional drug overdose is on 6 March, like mine is.
And maybe, in the last five years, you have come to understand that at some level suicide will remain in the back of your mind. The bitter temptation of self-murder, when it translates into serious action that isn’t simply an attempt to gain perfectly understandable emotional support, is a cankerous thing. Each attempt makes the next more and more likely. […]
Its weird how I check into this thing alot now throughout the day. I’m curious to see if other people are out there who feel even a fraction of what I feel.
Today was a very bad day. Its funny when you close your eyes at night thinking  tomorrow will be better, today was the worst it could get. But that wasn’t the case. To end of the horrible day, another Utopian moment happened. Followed by alot of sweet bbm’s and constant pings when a response wasnt received right away. However those are just more moments. False promises made in a moment never mean anything real. Chances are it was forgotten […]
My story starts about 5 months ago when I left a really good job that I done for over 5 years and the pay was great. My wife and dad said not to leave the job, i have two kids.Â
I left this job because I had arranged to drive a taxi that my f@@@ing brother in law said that the pay was good and hours were reasonable because he was doing it (he lied so I can be like him), thinking more money and good hours might as well go for it. Resigned from my good job and my colleagues told me to take a […]
Hi, 3 years ago, at the age of 18, I ignorantly made the biggest mistake of my life and tried to kill myself for multiple reasons. I had a passion for a car called 350z, and I did everything I could to get my hands on one, so I worked a minimum wage job and eventually started paying one off. I was happy 🙂 then I met a wonderful girl that I immediately felt connected too, I fell In love with her. We dated for a year and I must say it was the best year of my life. Then i graduated high school, 4 […]
I thought i was doing so great. Love is my poison. Confusion is like a knife. The fact i only have guy friends and every girl i know hates me when i’ve done nothing to them.. it hurts. you feel alone. my first love has become a monster. I just recovered from self harm and suicide a month ago and now im falling again. i want to be strong but i feel like i want to take something burning hot to my arm. possibly attempt to bleed again. i feel like everyone just thinks im completely annoying. i let the simplest things get to me […]
It’s been one big shit storm the past few months, with the past few weeks bringing more pain than I could bare. I botched an attempt two weeks ago which landed me in the hospital. As a result I have lost my apartment, my health insurance, my disability and my sanity. At almost 6 months pregnant my only options are to depend on my mentally unstable grandmother for assistance, and a “mother” who has her own life sort out. The pain, and uphill battle are too much to bare at this point, and I have checked into a hotel this evening with my helium materials […]
I know i’m not the only one whose life is messed up but i’ll just get it over with and tell the story…
It started it out when i was in 8th grade, my mom started to cheat on my dad, which i promised her i wouldn’t tell. (bad idea)It got worse, I later found out that my dad had depression not only him but my older sister and then there’s me. My dad got obsessed with my mom until she decided to leave him not only did it made him sad but it made him suicidal. I feared for him mostly because I later found out that […]
My mom can get cancer again, and my dad left us without a home or money…I have no friends, my family wants me to go die…they all call me a demon…FUCK LIFE! I’m SICK of getting tortured and neglected by people who say they “love” me…WHATS THE MEANING OF LOVE??? LIFE??? I can’t live with this anymore…I”m DONE being the punching bag…I HAVE ATTEMPTED SUICIDE BEFORE…EVERYONE thinks I’m doing it for attention…EVEN MY THERIPIST…They tell me I’m a lying piece of shit…FUCK YOU! I’m only struggling! Why in the HELL would I fake this?! IT’S CALLED PAIN. My STEPDAD don’t give a FUCK about me…he […]
I’m here to tell my story. When I look back on it, it seems like a really stupid fucking life I’ve had.
To make it clear, I’m a 14 year old Australian male, so ill be using the Australian-English ways of spelling. Pretty much all of the trauma that I have gone through is because I was insecure about me being gay.
All of this started around July of 2010.
Everything was going great. I had great friends, family was ok, and I was secure. Then, in the mid year school holidays, I went on a holiday to America. It was really good, but I’m not here […]
Thank you for the replies sent to me to tell you a bit more about me i will,
when i was 4 years old I was hit by a car the driver worked for the goverment and he was driving drunk when he hit me with his car i went 20 feet at the time in the air came down hard on my head this kept me in hospital for 6 months with stuff all over my head then when Iwas 6 years old i had to share a bed with one of my uncles while in the bed with him I was made to […]
My life all went down hill when i was 13. My dad married my stepmother and she looked at me if I was cinderella. I was told to do everything in the house and when I was finished I was sent to my room. About that time is when I started writing in my Journals and just giving up in life. When I turned 14 on my birthday my dad and I got in a huge fight. He blamed everyones problems on me and he told me hes going to kill himself because of me. That day is when I tried killing myself for the […]
Older Posts