last night I had 8 xanex, which mellowed me out, than today I had a 12 pack of natural ice. But I built up such a tolerance to everything that the highs don’t last long. I can’t stop thinking about what happened last night. All these hopes and dreams I had for that fake person just shattered me. How can one break a glass that’s already been broken? I hate this fucking bullshit.
Tag:
back
I just wanted to say that if you’re someone who’s going through a really tough time right now…..don’t give up on life. Really… just don’t. Stay alive……..Also stop getting so caught up with the media. Stop staring at the screen so much. And give your ears a break with those ear buds and those big bulky headphones. There’s someone out there making a profit off your inner sadness with those things. Don’t get me wrong ….music is awesome but for those of you who use it as a crutch to get through your day need to stop doing that. Stop using that crutch and start […]
It’s a bit hard for me to put so much pain into words. But I’ll do the best I can to explain it.
I am not a strong person. I was never a strong person. And by many accounts, I have no right to complain about my lot in life. I’ve traveled to many places, never been physically abused, and I’ve had many things provided for me. I have a roof over my head, and a pantry full of food. My own bedroom to hide away and enough toys to drown my boredom. The simple distractions may work for a time but when you stop feeling, nothing […]
Im 23 and im tired of fighting this battle. I can no longer fill my head with the idea that it will get better. Im struggling everyday fighting back the tears. I seeked helped taken meds and yet i still feel like im living in hell. I think i will be done soon or hope i have the strength to end it. I feel bad for the ones i leave behind but enough is enough. My heart just wasnt made for this world. Its terrible we are put through this mental agony. I feel for everybody out there dealing with demons.
I will start with writing about my life and will start with sharing information about a period slighty before that I came to exist in this world. In this period of life my my father-to-be and mother-to-be were going through a rough period of their relationship and which was not stable and while most people with common sense would work on the relationship or choose to go seperateways I had a mother who had a very different plan and apparantly wanted to keep my father with her for reasons unknown to me and in order to achieve this she made a hole in the condom […]
They think you’re crazy,
they think you’re mad.
They call you stupid,worthless,
tell you you’re not worth it.
Now you’re walking back,
to a place you call home,
but you feel so alone.
The same hurtful hits,
it’s your darker place.
In your virgin ears,
the remarks they make.
And if they knew, if they really knew
all of those things.
That you do in your room,
to hide the pain.
I bet their minds would change.
I’ll bet their minds would change.
They’d change,if they knew the pain.
im lost and broken. im to far gone to go back. im hoping someday someone can fix me. ill never be the same but at least i would be happy..
Not necessarily suicide (though it can be if you want), but just death in general. Tell me: Age, exact cause of death, and misc information (optional). For me, I think I’d like to die at around age 31 (because I get to experience my billionth second), suicide, after I become a professor.
Why do I post my story?
I can and i have time.
To see how people react so works like a mirror reflecting my life.
Simplily a statistic data for researchers on human studies.
So whats the story?
For saving time and to be short. Im aged 27, living in a far east city, and had four of suicide attempts.
I was born in Hong kong 1988. In a normal family of Chinese. My dad has been a U.K. Police Force from his age of 18 till retired. Thats like a life time job for him.
At age of 3 i started to write and read Chinese. at age of 4 started […]
I got here and my motivation tanked. I laid on the ground and cried for hours. I haven’t seen any more trains when there’s supposed to be over 100 a day, and they seem to move too slow. In any case, my first name is Seth. I live in Chicago. I’m in a public place. I’ll be back to work in the morning.
It’s been a while since I last logged in here. A long while. A few years. I don’t know what made me think of it now but I remembered it and how at the time, writing helped.
The depression is back. It never really left I guess, but after I was put on meds I was on those for about two years and became a semi functional member of society. Then I was taken back off them, and I had gotten myself to an okay place and kept trundling on living day by day doing anything to put a bit of sunshine into life. But it’s […]
I’ve always had a theory. Our lives comprises of mainly two distinct aspects, “professional” and “personal” and we’ll need either of the two to at least find a reason to survive. Well, I got none at this point. I’m neither a person with an an amazing career worthy of mention or a perfectly polished personality nor am I a happy unicorn with a handful of moments to remember when I die. I feel I’m the poorest among billions of souls in this world right now.I’m scattered in pieces searching for my identity and I feel I’m doing some kind of favor to the world by […]
That moment that held me back wont happen again. Im smarter now i know that happiness aint meant for me neither is love or respect i am better off dead my battle is over and that makes me happy I hope everyone finds happiness in life i just couldn’t get it here
Not kidding. Don’t hold back on what comes to mind when you see these pics:
My sadness never goes away it’s constantly grabbing at me in the slightest saying “you can’t forget me” as if I had a choice
it latches on to every ounce of my living, adding to my anxiety, my confidence and me questioning, if I’m good enough for myself?
not once have I lived a day like the other kids, not once have I spent a day with out this lingering darkness, not once has this thing loosened its grasp, constant doesn’t let go.
Constant stares me in the eyes when my family dinner didn’t involve the middle child,
constant pushes me away from any school events because constant won’t […]
The whole backstory is coming soon but it will take me hours to write, so I just wanted to put this out there right now. I’m 15, and have been getting harassed to my face and behind my back by the same group of boys for about a year. I’ve tried EVERY option of dealing with them in ethical ways, and nothing works. No matter how many people tell me I’m smart, or funny, or kind, I can’t believe it. I try, but I just can’t. These boys have stolen every ounce of pride and confidence I have. I get that feeling of my chest […]
I haven’t told anyone about cutting myself and how I think of killing myself everyday I was depressed many months ago and I told one of my friends and she helped me she went through the same thing and it’s been a long time that I cut myself and yesterday I cut myself I have a few friends who know I cut myself before so I haven’t told anyone about this and I dont think I want to it’s just who do I turn to there’s one person I want to go to that knows I was depressed before and that I cut myself the […]
I can’t do this anymore. There’s no point in living if you don’t feel alive. For as long as I can remember I’ve been fighting depression and struggling with poverty and I just don’t care anymore. I’ve had nothing but horrible, humiliating, miserable life experiences. My biological family is beyond dis functional. I don’t really have friends just acquaintances. The only man I love hates me and wants nothing to do with me. I went to college and still can’t get a decent job. My best friend in college died. I have Major Depression, PTSD, and Agoraphobia. I am physically repulsive and it would take […]
Well, here i am, back again after a year or so. I left just after the lonelyplatypus incident, anyone find out if she was OK? Nice to see some of you still alive here, and I hope those that aren’t are in a happier place. To everyone else, hello, and it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintances.
There’s a silence in the room,
I don’t speak quite like you do.
You got my fingers crossed,
But I’ll catch myself and I’ll wish you off.
And I never thought the words you’d cast would hurt so much.
For that, well I won’t look back.
And I never thought the one you trust would stab your back,
I guess it’s not so bad.
There’s a window in my room,
I can’t see clear like you do.
I won’t move my mouth and I’ll stand up straight just to push you out.
So I can see your insides out,
And figure you out.
And I never thought […]