We all have so much to deal with. I wish everyone in this life the best of outcomes. The wheel keeps spinning regardless of whether or not it’s too fast to keep pace with. Don’t fall off the tracks my bros and sisters. Just keep running, falling, and getting back up to do it some more. Peace and love be with you all.
its famous, liveleak.com released all his videos. It’s about a 21 year old dude that’s so obsessed with Bjork that he documents 8 months of his life to his plan. He builds a bomb, sends it to her address, than comes back and shoots himself on camera. It was back in 1996
Ive been afraid to post here because that will mean the depression is surely back – well this sucks, I can think of a plethora of triggers that may have caused this to start. I don’t know what I am expecting from you all, maybe a little support, a little hope. Im afraid this might be the straw that breaks the camels back. So much pressure right now in my senior year at college, looking to apply to grad school and all I can think of right now is what kind of knot to use in my noose.. I feel so crappy.
Everyone tells me that I had no choice, and that it wasn’t my fault. They said I did a lot more than what most would do. But I don’t feel that way, because I took her there. I am fully responsible for her death. I am to blame. It was my fault. I was supposed to take care of her, but instead, I sent her away. She died because of me.
It was horrible and heartbreaking why they decided to put her down. It shattered me.
I was going back for her, I couldn’t stand it that she was there. I was waiting for […]
It’s funny how things work, I suppose. I always seem to end up right where I started; in the dark. I’ve been trying to sleep for the past few hours but nothing is working, I’m disgustingly wide awake.
I’m just going to write how I’ve been feeling lately in this post, you don’t need to read it, not at all I just need an outlet.
My older brother and his wife had moved out, right? well, they’re back. I should’ve expected it, I really should have. On top of that the man who made me first start to hate myself, my grandfather, lives here now too. That’s […]
Would be nice to be dead.
And I hope that it will happen soon.
I never really had a chance to regain my life.
Once you’ve been down, you stay down.
Some make it back up, some just don’t.
I’ve been struggling for the last two years to regain pieces of me that were. But no such luck.
Hurting myself in the ways I do is the only way I know how.
The world is fucking corrupted, society became nothing because we did nothing to make it something. People will walk over one an other for pieces of papers, we’re killing one an other, we’re killing our self without even noticing that we’re killing everything around us. in what fucking world am i leaving. if people could just open their eyes and realize that we’re fucking dying and of course as the selfish human being that we are we cannot go down alone we’re taking this world with use. We are the killers and the killed, we built things just to brake them, we take and take […]
You were vulnerable and I left you.
I felt I had no choice.
Nonetheless, I threw you away.
You needed me to take care of you,
I did not value your life.
I do now, so very very much.
My deepest, deepest sorries.
I am hurting so much.
But you, you paid for my incompetence with your life.
I prayed for you the night before they took your life.
I didn’t know it would happen that way, that day, I would’ve came for you. I would’ve ran to you.
Please believe me.
God did not answer my prayers that night.
God has never answered […]
Today was my birthday, drove to beach with a friend and imbibed a lot of liqor at the beach, shared momemories and laughed. Got back home and slid back to my depression and existential crisis. Holding pills in cupped hands and crying. I want the pain to stop. Can’t go on like this.
Someone please tell me why after all I’ve been through, after all the measures I’ve taken to make sure I never wound up back there again, why am I back there again? Why am I losing everything that has ever mattered to me in a matter of less than two weeks? Why does it seem he doesn’t love me anymore, even though two weeks ago, we got engaged? Why do I feel as if nobody cares for me anymore? Why am I slipping back into the place of just wanting to die and end my life, and nobody would care anyway? I know it’s a […]
he was infatuated with me,
for a week,
then chose her.
he came back,
with more infatuation,
then chose her.
“I’m sorry”
im sorry, but sorry doesn’t mean shit.
i’m not in a very good place right now. today i got on facebook and discovered ‘she’ sent me a friend request – the ‘she’ who my dad cheated with all those months ago, subsequently ruining mine and my mom’s lives. i guess she honestly doesn’t believe she did anything wrong that night… i don’t know what the hell kind of drug she was on… but how dare she. i saw that today and everything came flooding right back to me, all of it. i feel like i’ve been hit in the stomach and now i can’t breathe. what’s worse, my older sister is friends […]
do we lose people in order to teach ourselves to be stronger because the people we lost were the ones we were maybe too close with? Unhealthily relied on people? To teach ourselves you can’t become this dangerously close with someone? Or do we lose people because the human race is selfish and one person is always giving more than they’re getting until ultimately the other person won’t give anything back at all?
“To know the truth, you must risk everything.”
“Because you have been down
there, Neo. You know that road. You
know exactly where it ends. And I know
that’s not where you want to be.”
I think Neo didn’t make his choice when when he took the red pill over blue; he really made his choice when he chose to stay in the car with Trinity rather than getting down and going back home.
http://youtu.be/0oCtKKNFYnI
Been driving few hours. Fell asleep at the whee few times. Catching up on sleep while I drive. Pretty great. Who says men cant multitask eh? Slumber would be nice at one point though. I might do that. I’m in Kingston. A town few hours west of our nation’s capital. Cool little place. RMC is located here. Our military university for officers to be. An army base is located here obviously and lots of heritage like Old Fort Henry. A fort we defended back in the colonial days. Pretty cool. Been there a few times. Defended it. In my mind from the countless denizens […]
Lately I’ve just been feeling like a shell of the person I used to be. After you’ve been talked down to by nearly all the people you look up to, all the people you called friends, and people that don’t even know you, it starts to weigh down on you. Back in 2010, I lost someone very close to me to suicide. I began my freshman year very lost. I let my grades slip and became extremely recluse. My social anxiety sky rocketed. Like, I couldn’t even ask the teacher questions. That continued all 4 years of high school. I failed nearly all of my […]
from the depths of despair I wander
but not all who wander are lost
yet I am both
a wandering vagabond in search of answers i’ll never seem to find outside of my rib cage
my animal pen that keeps my true rage locked inside until it’s time to feed
hidden and looked over have I been for far too long
.
.44 magnum for voice box full of ammunition that’s begging to be fired
whoever gets in the way is irrelevant; the bullets are meant to kill
cause I’m killz and I was born in darkness
birthed in hopelessness and death themselves
i have seen […]
I am perfectly happy… Then my eyes open and im back here where i dont belong… Back here where i am helpless and hopeless… Its such a cruel world… No i have to go on auto-pilot… And pretend to belong.
Have you ever been afraid of yourself? Knowing that everyday you will just hurt someone else. My life doesn’t just pain me, it hurts others too. I won’t back out this time. I have just lost all sanity. I am fully gone. Nothing is holding me back. Goodbye world, because the hundredth “nobody likes you, go kill yourself” was the last. Now you will say, “what a loser, nobody liked him”.
Alright, here’s the deal. I need an address from somebody who lives in the states — preferably california so I can tell the border cops I got a destination. I’m going to tell them I’m going to spend a few months time with you at your place to kick back. All pleasure no business this time. (lie). All business AND pleasure. So! Who wants to help me make it big in the city of angels? I’m going to L.A with a dream in my heart. Driving down in my shitty Cavalier with outdated stickers and an exhaust system that’s seen better days but who gives […]