What does it take to be ‘normal’? What is it like? How do you process things? What is it like to be happy?
I used to go by the quote,
“Love yourself and the rest will fall into place.”
-Melina.
That kept me going off and on for years. That’s why I got it tattooed on me.
Now I can’t even concept how to love myself. The usual;
I’m pretty.
I’m kind.
Caring.
I have a big heart.
What ever. […]
I killed a spider today, which makes me arachni-cidal.
If I don’t hurry up and get an oil change for my car pretty soon, I will also be automoti-cidal.
Ever have the vague feeling that someone has been fooling you and lying to you about something and manipulating you all this time, and you’re only now starting to realize the magnitude of it all? Yeah. Me too.
My double vision is getting worse, and when I drove home from symphony rehearsal Tuesday night, I could see two of every sign, and two white lines at the side of the road. At my last medical appointment, I explained this, […]
So yesterday I read someone’s post that said when they are bored they text “I hid the body.. now what?” to a random number. Well guess what you guys I did it! A random number texted me so I texted them back about the body thing. It freaked them out and made them laugh and I felt a thousand times better. lol. By the way I was just scrolling through the internet and found this cool ass website. Numerologist.com. Go on it, don’t pay, but just do it. It’s so cool I promise!!
You better get your bunnie onesie but back here and talk with us and be ok dont go mute when there is so many who wants help thats why we are all here.
Everbody keep an eye out for her I need to bored
Love you as .
I hadn’t intended to write something funny, but I felt so pathetic I felt ridiculous… and I had to laugh at myself.
Chain of events, but I will try to keep it as short as possible. So my doctor…never mind. Just know that I was so frustrated I started getting dizzy at work and had to hold back tears but that was really okay since I was just about to leave the office, and my friend suggested a psychiatrist. I was so RAARRRR I said it’d probably be the same… and he told me it wouldn’t. So I listened to music on the ~1h drive back […]
You finally messaged me back after a year of avoiding me. I’ve contacted you contless times in the last year’s span. To never hear back from you until now. I’m reading your message and I’m happy for you. I want to know about everything you’ve endoured. How you became the person you are now. What it took. Im glad that I got you there. I’m glad that I affected your life that positively. I’m happy for you Jordan. I’m happy that you replied back this time after so long. We are like each others drug. Relapsing in time.
Sincerely,
Brianna.
Dear Jordan,
I thought about you again today. I talked about you. It was quite a mess. I couldn’t gather up the words to say. There is just too much to share.
Good times and bad, you were always there. As I was for you. Memories we shared I will forever cherish. Our connection, our ups, and downs. What we’ve been through, what I put you through, what you went through, and those the same for me.
My most precious memory of us together was the night at Rock Fest. The only band we came to see was HURT and Blue October. I remember when you got to […]
… Well not really; it’s only a 2 hour drive, but still. My roommate and his girlfriend picked me up to head back to school after a weekend at home by myself with no ride. Now we’re 3/4 and we smoked a little bit, and we’ve been telling funny stories and laughing the whole way there. A minute ago 1979 by Smashing Pumpkins came on my iPhone. Now it’s Holiday by Weezer. Things are about to get terrible for me, but right now, in this moment, life is pretty damn good.
I knew the good mood wouldn’t last like I said yesterday it wouldn’t last and it didn’t I’m back normal as I call it depressed as hell wishing Monday actually went as planned and well it’s the first day of summer with no plans not looking forward to it at all being suicidal is hard work not knowing when your last day will be u can act on impulse and not plan at any given moment and end up in hospital again I hope next time it’s in a body bag because life is hard and it’s not getting easier sigh
… so I was sitting on the couch listening ta triple J enjoying a nice coffee, right, and I’m nice and relaxed so I just put my head back and I had a sip of coffee in my mouth and when I went to swallow it I noticed a little bit of trouble like I just had to move my head (and with it my neck) down just a little bit in order to swallow, and it got me trying to drink down this drink with my head held all the way back and I just couldnt do it without the little bit of forward, […]
Nobody knows that I suffer from depression. I walk and talk with a smile, confidently and securely. But I ache. With each step that I take, it’s like the ground pushes back on my feet, sends a vibration up my body til my teeth shake and I bite my tongue. I bite my tongue to not cry. To not scream. To not die. I hate my skin and yet I love it. Why do I lotion it? What does it even matter to a body that doesn’t want to live? I wake up and I eat. What does eating matter to a stomach that doesn’t […]
So this weekend some friends invited me to go hang out and go to the club with them, but it just ended up making everyone pissed off at me. We were hanging out at my friend’s apartment and drinking getting ready to go out and waiting for another friend to get off work which that was all fine. We stopped at a pizza place to eat and by this point I was already really drunk. One of my friends invited this girl I really didn’t like, then she invited more people I didn’t like, because they’re just generally rude people. We were getting ready to […]
Dear Anon( u kno who u are),
I hope you still get a spark in your eye when you think of me. I’ve went through all my journals and there was a lot of things that I wasn’t proud of writing so I ripped out the entries I’d written that were penned in anger and I’m summing up the rest here. The things that still stick in my mind had the longest entries. Like the time we first met and the time we first made love; those two moments bring tears to my eyes and make me forget any bad stuff for awhile. I also have […]
Today has been a good day done two drawings and finished my song was singing my heart out need to record it now
I know this mood won’t last so need to make the most of it when your depressed you sometimes get a glimps of light in the darkness but the flame burns out very quickly then it’s back to the darkness to fight with my demons once more
hows everyone ? Darktide were u at my friend
Do I deserve this terror-ible life?
Not just terrible, terror-ible.
I feel like I deserve more than what I am today.
Here are a few key factors to me, my personality, my life.
1. I took many online tests, all of them says I am a good person.
2. I almost never lie, and I’m also not lying when I say this.
3. I only cheated in school tests 2 times. And I regret.
4. I am 9.
5. I think I am gifted: I can do the rotate leg clockwise and write 6 with index finger in the air thing and not change direction, I’m one of the few people who can […]
Three guys walk into a motel to get a room for the night.
The attendant, a new hire, is unsure how to charge three people for one room. So he decides on $10 each, totaling $30. Each guy pays with a $10 bill.
The manger comes to check on the new attendant. He informs him, the room is $25 regardless of number of occupants. The manager gives the attendant five $1 bills, instructing him to take the men a refund.
The attendant, knowing each man paid $10, can’t decide how to split $5 between the three guys. So he pockets $2, gives each of them $1 […]
I’ve been reading this site for a few weeks but this is my first post. In a lot of ways, I wish I could go back to when I was little, when I spent most of my time alone in my room reading or solving number puzzles or making up stories. Before there was any pressure to socialize or compromise endlessly or impress others in general.
I spent most of my childhood blocking out my emotions. Criticism and rejection have always been very, very painful. It often feels like I’m walking around in a shooting video game except everyone else has armor or shields and I don’t. […]
Cringe cringe cringe cringe I’m sick of this shit being dumped on me can’t handle it anymore even though I probably sound happy as fuck I’m not. Im slowly killing myself everyday causing my own pain I’m sick of my so called “brother” taking advantage of me. Just because he wants to fix his own life don’t come destroying mine honestly you made your decision marrying that ***** who takes control over your whole and the minute you say no she never lets you forget and then you get depressed and drink your own sorrows away. Can’t you see i’m trying to recover and heal […]
That’s what I’ve decided to give myself. I’ve got until the end of April to turn things around or I’m calling it quits.
I haven’t had any significant work in 8 months now and while I’m still waiting to hear back about a couple longer term contracts, I’m completely out of money so if I don’t get these, I can’t go on living. I can’t even just go get a regular Joe job either because of my physical disability.
So that’s it. End of this month I’m giving notice for my place and all of April is basically going to be an Everything Must Go Fire sale. […]
“What could possibly be Hell, but the culmination of this life’s suffering, trapped inside the mind of someone who cannot withstand it?”
Every day they come, every day they go. Hunting like a pack of wolves in wind, in rain, in snow.
Never do they hunger, never do they bleed. Yet driven by an instinct shouting, “Kill! Grow! Feed!”
They are not without a mind. They think, they wait, they plan. The weakest of the hunters could kill the greatest man.
What are these fearsome beasts? Your guess is good as mine. I watch them chase her every day, last night I counted nine.
I am oh so weak. This fact now […]
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