Why is it that I always ruin everything? It’s like I can’t appreciate any good in my life. I’ve only ever had one boyfriend that I’ve truly felt love, and I managed to completely fuck that up. I always get this feeling when I’m with someone long enough that I’m ‘better’ than them, not that I even like myself anyway. It’s a curse and it ruins everything but there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
I’m a disgusting person who can’t make and keep friends and the one friend I have, must be a saint for being there for me (not that we regularly […]
Tag:
bad
I feel so sad and broken right now , it’s like my life is based on disappointment after disappointment. The year of 2015 was so tough, i’ve been feeling so unhappy. I’m graduated in a not so glamorous course in college, so it was not a surprise when i didn’t find a good job, having to accept any office sh** that appeared to me with a small paycheck, and by the way i hate every second of it.
Suicidal thoughts come often to my mind, but i never had the courage to do it, anyway sometimes i feel like i can’t handle that bad feeling […]
hey.
so, I’ve been married a year and a half. Everything seemed fine. These past couple months my husband has been telling me that I’m fucking useless, I dont care about his house, he married me because i was desperate, I need to lose some weight, I should only use only room in the house, we shouldn’t have gotten married, he jokes about leaving and cheating on me. He’s called me stupid multiple times. I’m tired of walking on egg shells because I don’t know what will set him off. I’m tired of going to sleep crying every night because of the worthlessness I feel.
if this […]
Hi. I’m french, so sorry if I make a lot of mistakes.
I don’t think that I want to end my life. I can’t say that I really hold to her, but idk.
But I hate my life, I always hated her. I hate my personality, I hate to be so irritable and so stupid. I play with my life, I’m the kind of persons who always think to do something, but never act. Then I always regret that, but I don’t do anything to change. I act as if I don’t care about what peoples think of me, but finally I need the approval of others. […]
Why the hell are people so fucking stupid. I apologize for my foul language. Seriously. Some people do not care about rules. Rules are there for a reason, and there are many unwritten rules. There’s a college group that I’m in on Facebook. This one chick (who I do NOT like) decided to add someone to the group. That person may or may not even be going to that school. I don’t know why this angers me so bad. Normally I would brush it off but the group is specifically for people going to that college and graduating with us. You are invited to join when […]
would it be so bad if I committed to an attempt? I feel so shit all the time and it’s stuff that has been present all my life, it’s something that I know isn’t going to improve to normal levels. For example I’ve always been cynical, now I’m super cynical but I don’t see myself becoming someone who just isn’t cynical. Oh sure it can get better but it will always be there and it’s going to eventually cause me to fall down again
So would it be bad if I just make an attempt?
And what if it’s someone that I know has a high success […]
Hello. Nice to meet you. This happens to be my first post here.
This justa lameass rant. It’s probably not worth your time. Okay, so I’ve been going through this website for a while. I made an account but I let it go though because things started looking up. I thought this year would have been great but … Shit happened. I have two amazing friends both have gone through tough spots and understand me.
One of them has gotten depressed recently. He’s about a month older then me but I think of him as a younger brother. He tried to commit suicide. He was asking about […]
Lying in bed, having all the bad feelings flooding back, and all I want to do is message my “friend” because he’s always been there for me. It’s been almost a week since he told me he couldn’t talk to me anymore until I got help. I can’t do it. My mother will be angry at me because I’m being an inconvenience to them. My roommate will be angry because it means he has to do more house work for a bit and won’t until I’m home and blame me for causing him issues. I usually watch streams to relax and fall asleep to, but […]
Hey guys, it’s been a while since my last post. Probably gonna be a post with random shit, sorry.
So my first internship went really bad. My supervisors don’t know about my attempt, but they know I had to go to the hospital because of a mental problem. When the internship was over they had a talk with me. They were really worried and advise me to get help and to speak with the school. I went talk with the responsible teacher and she started asking a lot of questions and found out about my attempt. She was reluctant to let me do the second […]
I can’t stand being alive, I fucking hate it. I hate my family, I hate living in this house, I can’t even look at myself in the mirror without the thought of ending my useless self. When I wake up I’m in pain and even if I was able to fall asleep I get zero rest. Nothing gives me any sense of release. Cutting, drinking, smoking all make me feel worse. I’m so fucking alone. My room feels like a prison but its my only safe place. Only reason I haven’t tried offing myself again is because I know my dad would probably kill himself […]
I used to be a member here.
I have a very bad habbit. I get attached so easily. I was on this site before. May be a month before or may be a year before or may be 5 years before (which I am not gonna tell). I shared alot. But eventually I have to stop. Because I felt really bad because I got closed to few people on this site. Whenever I post something, everyone replied. They felt bad because of me. So I aslo felt bad because I made them felt bad.
I’m too complicated person. I’m mentally not healthy. My condition is getting […]
I feel terrible inside myself and I don’t think it’s going to go away. I feel like I’m just a bad person who generates negative and bad thoughts. I’ve seen people in bad situations, depressed because something bad has happened to them, but inside they are great and positive. They would want good things for themselves and other. I don’t feel like something like that. I feel like I’m the thing that causes all the problems that are in my life. Im the bringer of bad energy and I truly wish I was never born 🙁
It’s been a while since I posted here. I’m in a bad place today. Just wanted to say hello. Thanks.
Today was bad. The Angels were bad. The visual hallucinations were bad. Everything was bad. I almost died.
I was barely able to get out of bed because of the Angels; but I forced myself because of my dogs. I was almost unable to stay downstairs this morning; but I had to make myself because I got lumbered with my brother while my mum and stepdad stayed in bed. The visual hallucinations got almost unbearable around this time – 9:50, I believe it was. Everything would move around, faces were everywhere, figures were everywhere. Despite how awful they got, I got my brother to distract […]
Hey SP,
One shitty years up. Ofc, my year hasnt been as bad as some of yours. But it was pretty bad, and frankly, i dont think 2016, is gonna be any fucking better…
Found the girl of my dreams, she hates me,
Destroyed my hopes of getting a good college,
Lost every inch of talent i have ever had,
And on top of it,
I cant even muster the guts to kill myself.
What i really want to say is,
Sorry mum, dad, i didnt mean to dissappoint you,
Sorry, everyone, i didnt wanna hurt anyone.
Hey SP,
It’s currently 3:00am on the 1st of January 2016 as I write this, and I don’t know how to feel.
I’m kind of glad that I’ve made it another year. This means that I’m another year closer to leaving home (only a year and 8 months to go now) which I’ve been waiting for since I was 13 years old. I’ve also started looking at university options and jobs so that I can save up enough money by the time I get to university to live fairly decently. Or the money will be used if I end up leaving home before then. Either […]
Im sorry fellows, i dont give a crap about new year or what ever people make up to celebrate, tomorrow is just another day. And yes every new day is the best day to start over.
I never did, i just used to take advantage (of the celebration ) to be with the person that i loved.
But now i really dont care.
But if i could wish something i could choose to get my heart stunned, so stunned that i wouldnt even bother try to talk or meet new friends, girls.. After all i lost all i wanted to be.
It is always an effort, and it feels […]
Today is my birthday. I’m officially 22. I was born around 7 in the evening, only lived about 5 hours of 1993. What the fuck is so damn happy about it?
I have been trying to make the most of this day. I took a walk with my sisters to the park. Played on the swings like an 8 year old. I remember when I was that young. I chased around my little sister and nephew. It helped me forget for a moment.
I forgot that deep down inside, I’m fucking furious. Just that moment.
The urge to cut has been growing intensely. I don’t want to […]
Everyday is the same. I can’t sleep, I sit in bed trying to remember why I even do this anymore. When I get up I’m in pain and I shut myself in this little prison I’ve made of my room. I’m truly alone, I don’t exist to anyone.
When no one is home sometimes I’ll stare out my front windows and wonder what it’s like being those people that walk around with friends without having to worry about panic attacks or breakdowns. I’ve tried an extensive amount of medications and none of them help, they usually give me bad side effects too.
I can’t afford a therapist […]
so my ex and I were together for a year, we did drugs all the time and I ended up in a psychosis with so many delusions that I broke up with her thinking I was being followed among many other things. I’ve wasted a lto of money, I have a shitty atar and I constantly feel like I’m fighting my own mind, each day is a tremendous struggle. it’s my brithday in 3 days and I’ll be turning 19. my ex has cut me out of her life completely, calls me a stalker and talks bad about me. My current girlfriend does not make […]