Can I stop hurting? Feeling like a shitty human being? Because I don’t live life in the most absolutely best way possible. I don’t want to believe in GOD because I don’t want to feel like shit about myself every single day. Because I sin and I don’t want to change that, and I don’t want to hate myself for not wanting to change it. But either way it goes the truth is I don’t accept myself and I put myself down because the things I do and enjoy are sins. Cursing, drinking, smoking, disliking people, pre marital sex, all these trivial things. Why can’t […]
Does anyone else just get really frustrated with people who think they are helping you? The ones that constantly compliment you? Because they have this naive delusion that if they just keep saying it over and over again, somehow it will change how you think about yourself? The compliments are just awkward aren’t they? When what you believe is the exact opposite of what they are saying? You know they are trying to be nice, and they are trying to help. but it just makes you feel uncomfortable and its annoying and you wish they would stop and you hate hearing it because it feels […]
When I read the comments to some stories, I wonder why people say the things they do. People who tell others to “stay strong” and “don’t give up” yet are overcome with manic depression and revolving thoughts of suicide. Why do we say things that are so hypocritical? I don’t understand. It frustrates me seeing that, it makes me think “Are these people real? Why are they on here saying these things when they themselves are on the verge of self destruction? I don’t believe they actually mean what they say; or maybe they say those things because they want someone to say the same […]
I feel so fucking ashamed that for a second foolish time I could believe it was actually worth something to someone!!! I knew from day fucking 1 when you said how you felt that it was a lie, but me being the stupid fucking ***** I am trusted and believed you.. You and all these other people are nothing but lies. That’s all everything ever is!! LIES!! I know I’m worth nothing, I knew I was never worth your time or anyone else’s.. I wish that you’d just admit it. Just once, admit that I am worthless and that I never meant a damn thing […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SGDHfcZVOg
Here, it’s his little brother and sister but it could be your mom, your dad, your friend, your husband or your wife. I know how hard life can be and how desesperate a person can be but what you’ve heard on this video is the reason why I’m still staying in this shitty world. A suicide is the most personal of all things and you don’t need to involve other peoples, peoples you love. I’m not trying to stop you but just remember that even if you’re dead, the world still spining and on it, you will be nothing but a dead body and I don’t think […]
I really feel somewhat desperate to kill myself right now… but I know I won’t… Often times I think about hanging myself or electrocution. I never follow through though. Sometimes I want to be alone yet I crave to be understood and not be so god damn alone…. Idk I do have some friends but I have the most trouble reaching out to people. I honestly believe they wouldnt understand what I’m going through or what I’ve gone through……… I just hope I can keep going and living…. I’ve come to several conclusions to help myself but I never tried them. 1) help someone else […]
i’m 17, in high school. The doctors
told me i have depression but i still don’t believe its real. It’s unbearable sometimes. Humans have glass hearts meaning we are so easily emotionally crippled. I just ripped two of my stitches out ( I […]
If you are at the point when suicide is inevitable – it is not a matter of IF but WHEN – does it make sense to start distancing yourself from family and friends? Not sure if it would help but I have to believe it is easier to miss someone you remember as a jerk. I have intentionally not responded to calls and texts from my kids and a very good friend in hopes that maybe it will make them not care so much about me dying. I know it’s stupid but I’m going to do it any way.
Is God there? I mean, there are tons of different opinions on this and any of them could be right. I honestly don’t invest anything in God or any other kind of religion. I mean if there was something out there why would we be here? Why would the site exist? Why would he punish us with whatever’s wrong with us? It doesn’t make sense to me but you know… I guess you could say some shit about the bible or whatever but honestly most of the bible is basically justifying why God doesn’t do anything, so it kinda sounds like a crock of shit to anyone with a cynical […]
so many of you still believe… how?
if ‘God’ doesn’t make mistakes than i was meant for all this? God meant for my father to abandon me, left with a woman incapable of showing love, a torment and whirlwind of insanity my mother was, molested at 4, to which my mother ignored and allowed it to continue… the bullshit goes on and on throughout childhood…. BUT – it gets better… so, its not enough that all this shit happened, right? now thrust into adulthood i continue this abusive fucking cycle? once wasn’t enough for me? i can only choose to love those that cannot love back- […]
I’m 14 years old and I’ve been thinking about overdosing on sleeping pills. I’ve done research on strong medications but I can’t seem to find any that are strong enough from over the counter products, it seems I have have a prescription from a doctor. I can’t do that without telling my parents and I dont think I can do that without bursting into tears and have them become angry with me. Just this morning I finally told them I didn’t believe in god and I felt they were about to disown me. I know this is probably a page to help others come out […]
I’ve never posted on here but I’ve been on here for a few days. I’ve been debating on telling my story, so I’m just going so say a little bit of it now.
I’m a senior in high school. A few years ago I sank into this depression. About a year ago I started cutting myself. I usually cut in a place that’s easy to hide, but sometimes I’ll cut on my forearm or near my wrist, asking for someone to notice and ask if I’m okay. I’ve actually set a date for myself once last may. I backed out of it though.
There has […]
When you get to the point where there is no relief, and all your brain does is torture you, it is time to get the fuck off this hell hole. PTSD I would not wish on my worst enemy nor the constant anxiety and dark bad thoughts. The sexual abuse of children is a societal evil society denies. I cast God into the tormenting hell he put me in, and lock the door on his sadism. God doesn’t give a fuck about me. I cast out my father’s evil voice and these GD demons, b/c they are no better than God. They are worse, but […]
Reminiscing feels unhealthy. I am taxed with the question, “When will you settle down, get a wife, and have kids?”
I do not want kids… I do not want marriage. Why should I want these things when I do not believe in love anymore. The thought is beyond exhausting. I had always believed in giving someone all of my heart when in a “committed” relationship. Despite good intentions, best efforts, and more than several long term tries – it seems all I earned was heart ache;
• Incompatibility
• Incomprehension
• Infidelity
• Insincere Involvement
All that I am left with is • introspection… it must be me. My fault. It cannot be all of […]
I’m so tired of feeling alone. My friends tell me they care about me and that they’d kill themselves if I ever did. I don’t believe a word that comes out of their mouth. I’m so tired of being here. Why haven’t I killed myself? I ask myself that every damn day. I wish I knew someone who understood me. I’m glad there’s a lot of people here on this website that can relate to me. We all really want something in live. Well, what I really want is to be dead..
Not only is this a great song, but I’d imagine that these lyrics can be interpreted by everyone here on a much deeper level than even intended.
B
I hope I don’t sound like a “holy roller” and I don’t mean to offend anyone, but a year ago, I suffered a loss that I felt was punishment for my vanity. Afterwards, I told God in my prayers, that if he would grant me two things, I would die to atone for the things I’ve done (and haven’t done). First, that he would help my son pass the rigorous physical and medical tests to be awarded an ROTC scholarship, and second, that he give me more time with my elderly pet. My son started ROTC last fall, and a year later, my pet is […]
I’m a 15 year old Sophomore in highschool.
I don’t believe in God, so I don’t believe in heaven or hell. I think the only reason people “love” God is because they don’t want to risk going to hell IF God is real. Humans act on self interest, right?
Back to suicide, I plan on commiting suicide after I graduate high school. I’m not depressed at all, and there is no underlying depression, but I just think life is pointless. You work hard in highschool so you can go to college and work hard so you can get a job, and then you work hard for the […]
Despair is repressed, only for a short-while, It cannot be hidden for too long. People start seeing it. It eagerly reveals its existence, like a child wanting to reveal his talents, in a school- play. Just like a play, despair is viewed as “fictitious”; in they’re mind, it’s only in your mind. Some believe it’s the lack of gratitude and love you show towards ’em; some, simply, enjoy your despair, it makes them feel better. In either case, their ego is the window in which, they view your despair. All this happens, as if they’ve never felt sad; as if they suddenly developed a relative […]
I am a 37 year old male. I’ve had major depression since I was 13. Effexor is no longer working, and I do not see the point in continuing to increase the dose. It worked for a while, limiting very frequent thoughts of suicide to less frequent thoughts of suicide. I’ve never tried to kill myself, because I don’t want to hurt people who love me. Living for the past 24 years is like doing the dishes all the time. I perceive life as a complete waste of time and effort. Pop culture’s advertisement of life is unrealistic and even more boring than my life. […]