Hello there. This is my first time on this site so let me just give you some background info about me. I’m 15 years old and a sophomore in high school. When i was in Kindergarten through 5th grade i was bullied harshly. I was bullied for the way i smelled. A guy, Alec, and his friends would make fun of me EVERY SINGLE DAY. They made my life a living hell. They were also on my bus. I remember one incident where i was sitting on the bus and Alec took out his phone and took a video of me sitting there and he […]
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Best Friends
I’ve kept this facade of being happy in school for so long, so when I was telling my friend about this (she’s kind of my best friend), she asked me is this how I really am?
Like happy( that’s how I come across in school) and can make people laugh because of my randomness.
But I told her at home I’m not happy because everything is tense and well… NOT happy…
I wish I could tell her EVERYTHING…but I literally CAN’T, like I get this cold felling that spreads from my finger tips everywhere. And I can’t always rely on people to listen to […]
So I don’t know why after a year I’m questioning such a “perfect” relationship, but I am. I’ve gone out with my current boyfriend since eighth grade and its been amazing. No arguements. No problems. Nothing wrong. It’s been all smiles, laughter, kisses, hugs,and now that I think of it…its been mainly revolving on our intimatcy. So I think that’s an issue. It’s a huge issue but at the same time I think its ok since were best friends and were “in love’ with one another. But could someone just give me their opinion. I’m not going to break up with my boyfriend since we […]
I don’t know why, but I can’t be happy. Seriously, everything is very well in my life, but.. I just can’t be happy.
I have only a few friends. They are not the best friends You can get and I feel lonely sometimes, but they are good for me. Still, they don’t make me happy.
I have a boyfriend and he says that he loves me. He tries hard for me. Many girls are jealous for me. But.. he doesn’t make me happy.
I’m pretty. Everyone tells me so. But.. I don’t feel pretty enough.
My life is good. So why do I want to die so bad? Why […]
I told my two best friends that i think i need help and that i thought i was borderline anorexic. the first one laughed and said that it was okay, then she turned the conversation to herself. like i don’t even matter. she turned to my other friend and said ‘i cut myself the other day after not doing it for so long.’ i wanted to turn to her and say ‘yeah, well i contemplate suicide every night and you ignoring my problems because you think all anyone ever cares about is you. thanks for letting me know you want me to stay here.’
the second person i told was […]
I’m so sick of people acting like they know me…. They don’t. They think they do but they don’t. And I really just need someone to know my story. Sometimes it’s comferting knowing someone has your story.
It started when I was 4…. my parents got divorced. When I was 5 my dog died… no big deal right? Wrong. I was 5, my dog was my best friend. When I was in 2nd grade me and my mom moved to Tennessee over the summer. I thought we were just staying for the summer. No. We were moving… To get away from my dad. Since […]
Today I picked up a knife and stroked the edge of it. It cut a small line into my fingertip. I asked myself why did you just do that? I didn’t know. I’m not usually suicidal and I definitely do not want to be. My cousin took his own life and it wrecked my family, hurting everyone and separating his mother and father. I guess the reason why was because the past weeks have been rough. Family life is hard because there are few moments of peace and quiet. Everyone is so angry at one another and they yell at me. In school I struggled. […]
Ive lost/about to lose everything that is important to me. I let some outside factors take over and rule my life. Making my relationship suffer and eventually costing me the only person who really matters. It all started when my dad was tricked into accepting stolen property. My dad is an old sick gentle man who has survived cancer. He still needs a lot of medical attention but now he has two felony accounts on him. During the same time my band i have been with for 5+years breaks up and one of best friends goes to jail for something he didnt even do. So […]
So… My main problem in life isn’t that of feeling left out, not that I don’t fit in although both of those are very much good reasons to be depressed. Anyways, my problem lies in my relationship, not with it but about it. I have kept a sort of diary or blog type thin on my phone over the nearly 3 years and as you read them from start to finish you see it go from sweet and cute to doom and gloom. Now I am a 16 Year Old male and I am extremely unhappy in which I sometimes result into self – harming. […]
hello my name is stan,im a 18 yearold highschool student, the thing that ment the most to me in my life was taken away monday , my gf or i guess you could say ex gf (whos name will not be said) she was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver in the rain at around 10 pm we were dateing since 5th grade we were both seniors. she was the love of my life we were engaged i was gonna marry this amazing beautiful women she helped me with everything she made me who i am today when ever i was doing […]
The recession destroyed life as I new it. Having been laid off 3 times in 2 years, I left my home and started over in a new town. The first 10 months were a struggle to survive, and then it finally paid off. I landed my dream job. Still alone in this new place 800 miles from friends and family, I made the mistake of befriending a female co-worker. She approached me a couple of weeks after we both started working at the same company. She had moved to the same town with a boyfriend of 7 years and they had broken up. She was […]
I can never be myself around people. Whenever I’m with my best friends I think I’m myself but as soon as I get home from being with them I start to hate myself. They seem to think of me as clown with no life. Throughout my life people have always looked at me like I was pathetic and enable to do anything. I wanna change but whenever I try I can’t, I feel like its to late to do anything in my life. It feels like I have no purpose of being here. I guess I wanna know if I’m a mistake.
I’ve been clinically depressed since I was 12 years old (I am now 18). For the life of me, I cannot remember a time when I was happy, a time that I was in the slightest bit content with my body. My parents put me into an eating disorder treatment center for about 3 months, and I ended the program thinking that maybe I could finally be okay. Things were…alright for about 2 months until just now. The guy I love came back after 15 months from a rehab center halfway across the country. We have never been in a relationship, but we were best […]
my life… i pushed for what i wanted. i always got close. sooo close yet every time, it fell. my soul,  for anything and everything is gone. i really just want nothing. existence as a whole i just don’t want.  growing up with an abusive family. pushing away from them. finding home in a best friends family. loving it more than your own. growing and pushing yourself to get what you want. only not to get it. learning not to care so much about it.  always with the thought of finding someone for you on the way, someone to love. of course being in many relationships. to give up […]
Fuck. My life has never been worse. I mean, there have been and are really shitty things in my life. Things I can’t control. But it has got to the point where I can’t see a way out anymore.
I realise that I have a lot to live for. My family really needs me, as do my friends. They all love me. I am  trying really hard to keep up my academic side. I was actually focusing on that when the shit storm hit.
I had a boyfriend. Fuck that is depressing having to write that in the past tense. People say stupid shit like ‘Oh yeah, […]
hey guys just joined up, my story is about my failure to die.
it doesn’t begin in any fancy way, just with a girl, why is it always a girl? it’s been 10 years since i fell in love with her, both of us were nine years old at the time. but there never seemed like a time for us. for years we remained friends, best friends, but as close as we were it just never happened, i could never say how i felt. then she started seeing those guys, just in it for her looks and her body. she was clever enough never to […]
i tryed to commit suicide a few days ago… and i messaged one of the youth leaders at my church, telling her what was going on…. she never wrote back.
i told 3 of my best friends… they didnt say anything to me about it… its like no one cares… please HELP i dont know what too do anymore..
I lost my best friend to cancer. I first met her when we were 9, we played basketball on the same team. We had clicked instantly. Best friends right away. She lived two blocks away and we always would meet at the park to hang out. She was a year older then me and she was like a big sister. She always had my back and looked out for me. When she was 12 she got cancer. She had it for three months and then the doctors said it went away. But then four months later, just before she turned 13, the doctors said that […]
In October of last year, I was going to hang myself. I was living over six hours away at school. No one I knew there. Grades dropped to an all time low. Before I could do it, my mother withdrew me and brought me home, yelling the most obscene things at me. She knew nothing of my self harm or plans, and she made me feel like worse shit than I am. I went to the local high school again. Things got worse, but also better. I got a girlfriend. A good friend of mine died. So did my grandpa. I can’t bear to outlive […]
I haven’t posted in a while. I told my parents.. I was kinda threatened to but I’m glad i did. Things were starting to get better when I first told them. Didnt cut till last night. I’m in the exact same spot I started in. I have made my 2 best friends cry because they are so worried. I know it hurts them but that’s nothing compared to the pain I have to wake up with everyday. I feel like now that people know it’s a free pass to kill myself because they won’t wonder why. We think I have depression. Could be possible […]