the truth about me is that i try my hardest to be someone im not. if i were to go in school right now wearing what im wearing now (leggings, skirt, sweater) people would beat me up and make fun of me. instead i go in there wearing hollister and fancy rich people clothes. i feel kinda stupid when i walk down the hall, and this girl comes up to me and says this (one example) “you know youd look WAY better with a bag over your head right!?” me: “i dont know..” Girl: “well its true!!!” *walks away laughing with her 5 best friends* […]
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Best Friends
… I just got a call.. From my best friends brother… She died at 10:48. They couldn’t save her. They said she lost too much blood… That there was no hope to save her… Amanda…my best friend…you promised me..that we were both stuck here with each other… and you left.. Without calling me, without telling me.. without taking me with you… You alone got me through my hospitalization. You gave me hope. You were the only one that could make me laugh anymore… Whose gonna make me laugh now? Whose gonna tell me it’s ok? Whose gonna remember the times we had at the unit? […]
I don’t really have much to say. I am just so sick and tired of everything ._.
I feel like I have no friends, they all ditched me the other day and I was just left somewhere alone with nothing to do and no way home. It was nice.
I have 2 best friends, and they’re both currently in different time zones. One is in Spain, 9 hour time difference. And the other is is New York, 3 hour time difference. They are never awake at the same time as me and it’s just hard to have someone to talk to, when they’re always too […]
Just today one of friends told my other friend that she was ugly, fat, a hoe, obnoxious, and that she should just die. My friend was at home when she got called those disgusting names and was told that rude comment,plus she had the flu and she felt awful. Of couse she got the message on facebook the one place where you can talk trash to somebody without them phisically hurting you. I stood up for my friend because we are best friends aand just because I’m friends wih the other girl neverr meant that I had to agree with her. In fact I […]
I’m sitting in my high school integrated science class, the closest seat to the front right hand corner facing the class. My teacher is babbling about how my class never shuts up.
“maybe if you actually taught something once in a while..” my mind starts fading and my eyes begin to wonder..
I land on the obnoxious popular boy sitting in the corner with his “clique”, I wonder if he knows they’re going to leave him if they find someone better. There’s some kid sleeping in the back corner by the door, I wonder if his mom cares about his slipping grades.. I wonder why […]
I’ve wanted to die since I was 17. That was the first time I tried but I was just sick all night.
I remember all the negative about the past and it is hard to concentrate on the positives.
I took speed a couple of weeks ago and felt like I had instant happiness. People said that I made them laugh. If only they knew how I want to be out of this eternal pain.
I have a friend who is always saying that she doesn’t eat properly. Well I don’t. I exist on nourishment drinks and bananas cos I have no appetite.
My psychiatrist is good. She is […]
Monday, February 27th, 2012. I had been Sexual Assaulted.
I walk through the hallways, watching people look at me, whispering, calling me names, wanting to beat me. They don’t know the real story about what really happened, so they had made-up stories. I cry every night because of what he told people. everyone is against me, everyone hates me. He doesn’t know the damage he had done; damage is still being processed. People harrassed me everyday, yet I know that if I end my OWN LIFE they’ll regret what they have said.
Many people took sides. Two of my best friends had my side, also […]
I’ve finally finished reading through all my posts on here in the last three years.
ALL 101.
It honestly doesn’t seem like I’ve been doing this for that long, writing on here. It seemed like just yesterday I didn’t know what I was going to do with all my thoughts and feelings of suicide, keeping them wrapped up in my head could only keep me sane for so long and I was afraid I was going to lose it completely, more so then I already had.
Then I found this site, a place where I could get all my feelings out, where I could talk to others who […]
Hi.
I’m 23, I’ve been suicidal since I was 11. I don’t really know how it feels not to be depressed, I guess. Being this way has been its own vicious cycle. When I’m sad, I drive away the people I love. When I drive away the people I love, I feel worse. Then there is the other stuff, you know, letting people down just by being disappointing. Letting myself down too. I hate myself. I like to think that if suddenly some person came along and loved me unconditionally, it’d change things, but I know that isn’t true. I know what I am supposed to […]
2 years ago I joine the marine corps. That wast dream to become a marine. I wanted to be the hero. When I went into the 13 weeks of misery known as boot camp I loved it. I enjoyed it. I met my closest friends there they knew everything about me and I knew everything about them . They were my best friends, my brothers. After basic I went to marine combat training MCT for short and there i was beginning to have suicidal thoughts. It hit me. I was I here ? What was I doing? Nobody was there no one. I felt alone. […]
i feel very lonely, i mean i know every one at some point feels that way but this time i feel like there is no one out there to help me out with my problems.
The kid i like he just wants to make out, my mom and my dad always fight, i am miles away from my sister, my dad hits my mom, i’ve lost 2 of my best friends, People hate me, people talk about me behind my back and call me a slut something i’m not.
I feel very upset of my life. I have thought of suicidal but sometimes i cut […]
In short, my brother killed himself april of 2011. He was my only brother and he will always be my closest and best friend, a hero of sorts for a little brother if you understand the relationships between siblings. anyway, he was 29 married no children and i was 21. few months after he passed away i was going to shoot myself in the heart with a 12-guage slug to ensure death and hopefully immidietly death would follow. to this day i don’t know what changed my mind, not fear of death but i guess fear for my family’s wellbeing.. but anyway.. i think about him everyday. shortly after his death i became deeply addicted […]
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m down to the bottom again. Even though I’m surrounded by tons of people everyday, I feel more alone now than ever. I was raped when I was little. And since then I’ve been having nightmares. But lately the nightmares have gotten so bad that I can’t sleep but when I finally do cry myself to sleep, I just wake up crying everytime. So I started to cut and burn. I still do sometimes. It’s the only thing that helps anymore. Sometimes I just cut to see how much blood will come out or I wonder which spot […]
i have had many suicide attempts, and i will share them all eventually, but this is one of the more recent ones, and it is the one that disturbs me most..
i had been feeling bad for a while, things were getting on top of me, i was living with my boyfriend in a really cramped flat, it was summer, and a few things happened, i had a minor fit of paranoia when my friend tripped me up at the pub he didnt mean to, yet i saw it as he did, i was feeling abandoned, and lonely, i didnt want to be with my boyfriend […]
I just lost my best friend. How do i feel? Well, it didn’t hit me until i screamed i fucking hate you as i slammed the door and started to walk to my house. That was my person. The person who would listen to me cry all night about a boy and try to help me. The person who defended me when she didn’t have to. I just hurt that person. So bad, i could see the water start to feel her eyes when i told her she never gave a damn about anyone but herself. She doesn’t cry too much, that’s how i knew i […]
I met a guy a year ago and I’ve had a crush on him ever since I saw him. we’ve always been friends and I know he’s been thro a lot and he knows I have too. I’m like best friends with his sister and I went to hang out with her and we went to a party with her bro there. he got drunk and I got drunk and we ended up hooking up. a week later I started to really like him… then over Christmas break we hooked up again.. and I still like him more then before. I’m scared to love him […]
I ran away from my home, in Austin, at 15 to my 16 year-old boyfriend’s house in Dallas. I left behind my family, my friends, and everything I had known in my life on a whim for someone I’d known for a month. He convinced me that my life at home was dangerous because of my dad’s abusive past and I’d be better off with him. To me, he was everything, he was my world. I knew for a fact I couldn’t live without him now that I had him. I was addicted, consumed. I didn’t make it to Dallas, however. A police officer found […]
i have no idea what im supposed to put here…. if youre reading this you already know whats going on.
by nate
written by nate
might as well share my story… this is gonna be rambling and probably not very cohesive, fyi. ive commented on a lot of other posts on this site. i go on here multiple times a day, to check and see whats new here. my goal in life is to help people. specifically, keep depressed people from killing themselves and hopefully get rid of their depression. i have dedicated my life to that goal. so far i have been very successful at keeping people from killing themselves, but not so good at ending any kind of depression… as far as i can tell i just drag […]
ok. last post was a little vague i guess.
i was sexually abused when i was 6 till i was about 7/8 ish, by some boys in my primary school. (i’m a girl). I am absoulutly terified of people touching me now, anywhere. i csnt really get close to peoplr, obviously i have trust issues. when i get upset, depressed – i cant talk to anyone, my friend gets really anoyed and angry. she says i act like a spoilt brat, and i make her think we’re not really best friends. i told her about what happened to me. doesnt really look like she took it […]
I guess I’ll start off with a quick synopsis of who I am before I start explaining what is that’s making me feel suicidal. To start my name is Luke, I’m 19 and I live in St. Louis Missouri, have my whole life. I graduated highschool a little over a year ago and I’m currently going to ITT Tech. I’m overall a middle of the road kinda guy on almost everything. B average student, somewhat attractive, funny at times, etc. Just normal.
Anyway as of late I’ve been feeling pretty bad. Actually I haven’t felt this bad in a long time. For some reason I’ve been […]