still not styled lol
styled also part crimped lol <3 loving this color I’ve also reconsidered if shit ain’t better by next Friday then it will happen no if and or buts
I just have to tell someone this to get it out of my system. Lately I’ve been trying to work on myself. My life has been chaotic recently and lately I’ve been trying to take care of the chaos and I’m finally feeling a little bit better. When I used to have stress in my life I would turn to my ex to just distract myself from my life. Without him as a crutch I was feeling like I was going to lose my dam mind and like I couldn’t get a handle on anything. Me not being able to deal with stress without him […]
I’m so tired of fighting this war
My body aches, and my soul is its whore
My pain has grown full in size
Was fed religiously by my own mind
It now controls my every step
Making sure I won’t get slammed
Rejecting life by any means
And killing everything within.
My pain has been with me since ever
By now I really should know better
It won’t be cast away by light,
It will end with me, god willing, maybe tonight.
You are the most perfect you there is.
I’m not saying you are “perfect,” hence what society considers “perfect.”
I’m saying that the reason why you are perfect, is because you are you.
You are perfect at being you, because you are you.
There is no one who can be better at being you, than you.
Nobody can be you except you.
No one has the same laugh.
No one has the same smile.
No one sheds the same tears as you do.
You are a very cute specimen and you deserve a hug.
Stay strong, my friend.
Continue Reading
As always, I’ve been thinking too much. If I didn’t think as much and as deeply as I do I’m certain I wouldn’t be suicidal and I’d be a much happier person. But I can see the truth about myself and it’s going to make me kill me.
I used to be better than this. I’ve been slowly declining over several years but it was only a little over a year ago when I started to realize there was a time limit on my facade of success. It has been a torturously slow spiral but sometimes I can feel the way it will speed up until I […]
I just found this site today and as a result, I have to skip my Day 40. I’m counting down, counting down to the day I might do it. I don’t know if I’ll get through with it because honestly at this point I’m kinda scared. Scared that I might not succeed and cause more burden to the people around me. Scared of how it’d feel like, the process of dying. There’s still that small part of me that hopes that everything will be okay again but that’s been overshadowed. Today seems to be better. Not brighter, just slightly better than yesterday but don’t be […]
My first post on here was in April of 2015. It is now April of 2016 and I am back on checking this website for the first time in months. I wish I could say that time healed me, but I cannot. I am doing better some days but I know that is because I rarely leave my house or my room. I turned 20 at the end of March. I needed that birthday. It was a good day. I still want to die. I still think about it regularly. I’ve been getting out of the house a little bit more now. I actually have […]
I’m so tired of everything. the quickie marriage to a needy husband (thank god we don’t have kids together), the mean baby daddy, the holier than thou ex-wife, the annoying step-teenager, my teenager that I love dearly, who is my only joy, that is trying to fail, maybe to go live with her much better off financially father, then he gets to be the bad guy, not her, and just life in general.
my super needy husband, is a fucking looser, then he needs praise for simple shit that any grown man should be doing a million times better/more effective than he’s doing it. won’t pay […]
Is it better that we have the choice to say goodbye, very possibly for the last time?, Or is it better not to have a goodbye?
Really I’m sure it’s the first one. At least than you can accept when someone goes that it’s true, …maybe
I guess it’s hard either way most of the time,
“No sir, I don’t like it”
Thoughts?
Or the Universe, or God, whatever, I don’t know. But now that I confessed a little something to my mother, I want to share it with someone else: I think my father’s death was my fault.
I’ve been wanting to die since I was 15 (that’s almost 11 years now), and two years ago, my dad died of Cancer. Tho I prayed everyday that the bloody cancer would left his body and came into mine instead, of course it didn’t happen. And I think, I honestly believe, that that was the Universe telling me “suck it” for wanting to die for so many years and still never […]
My ex and I talked last night. We basically put our friendship on standby. I think that it was a really bad idea to try to be friends so soon after breaking up. I’m glad we did, because I admit a lot of my anxiety and depression came from that. I do want to be his friend, but it’s just not the right time for him and not the right time for me. I feel as if a load has been taking off of me. But I do feel kind of sad about it. I can’t predict the future and I don’t know if our […]
Im san fran but im still so sad so nervous so not ok I still feel lost .
a girl that has been staying with my in -laws says she has made no money in tahoe and she is in depression from the town and is fearfull her marriage will end becuse she is so unhappy .
she said she understood Why I went home and why I left and why Never wanted to go. Wich made me feel better she made me feel less crazy. But I felt horrbile she was going the my hell she took my backlash. I was so sorry, Im scared now […]
I can’t take this anymore. I have too much stress on my shoulders. I struggle to get through each task of the day and struggle to complete a day. I have so much to do. People depend on me. I can’t take it. I would be better off dead.
Got no talents, got no friends, got no job, can’t talk to people, look like I been dragged through hell, find life terrifying and hideously painful, really this planet is a hellish mistake and the sooner we wipe ourselves out as a species, the better. I’m in my 40s now and the end seems near. God please kill me.
As I watched moody superheroes fight i realized what this movie is accurately describes my life. It means well has some good parts. But is too depressing and meaningless to be truly enjoyed. Im too much of a fat pos to ever be cared about. I’m too incompetent to improve my life. I’m giving myself 18 months. Its a very short amount of time. If things aren’t improving then it’s off with my head. Im so tired of impoverished lonelines, alienation, and obesity as normalcy. I’m not living. This isn’t living.
I feel like I’ve exhausted the people I can talk to. I’m just boring people with my suicidal state now and I’m scared of driving people away.
I talk to friends. I rant on social media. I feel like I’m just wasting time talking to volunteers of hotlines. I post here. None of it makes me feel better or is cathartic in any way. It’s just something to do because my brain won’t let me do anything else.
Fuck me.
Im better now and I have hour drive home in traffic listing to Engelbert Humperdinck lets talk
My plan is kinda going to shit was meant to get more meds today and they didn’t put what I wanted in the bag maybe it was a mistake or maybe there on to my plan but it has pissed me off tho I feel much better knowing I have a method in place and when iv had enough I could try again but they are fucking with my plan here
Night guys! Thank you all for being supportive of me. I am tired as fuck I’ve had a long day after all the events I’ve done…
Remember always embrace your inner weirdo (the weirdo inside will love you for it)
Be who you are don’t be anyone else you’ll feel much better as a person for it.
All of your support has kept me alive today which I thank you for you guys to me a superheroes to me so go on and save some more peoples lives <— hopefully that all sense
See you guys tomorrow!
-Suicide