still not styled lol
styled also part crimped lol <3 loving this color I’ve also reconsidered if shit ain’t better by next Friday then it will happen no if and or buts
I just have to tell someone this to get it out of my system. Lately I’ve been trying to work on myself. My life has been chaotic recently and lately I’ve been trying to take care of the chaos and I’m finally feeling a little bit better. When I used to have stress in my life I would turn to my ex to just distract myself from my life. Without him as a crutch I was feeling like I was going to lose my dam mind and like I couldn’t get a handle on anything. Me not being able to deal with stress without him […]
I’m so tired of fighting this war
My body aches, and my soul is its whore
My pain has grown full in size
Was fed religiously by my own mind
It now controls my every step
Making sure I won’t get slammed
Rejecting life by any means
And killing everything within.
My pain has been with me since ever
By now I really should know better
It won’t be cast away by light,
It will end with me, god willing, maybe tonight.
You are the most perfect you there is.
I’m not saying you are “perfect,” hence what society considers “perfect.”
I’m saying that the reason why you are perfect, is because you are you.
You are perfect at being you, because you are you.
There is no one who can be better at being you, than you.
Nobody can be you except you.
No one has the same laugh.
No one has the same smile.
No one sheds the same tears as you do.
You are a very cute specimen and you deserve a hug.
Stay strong, my friend.
Continue Reading
As always, I’ve been thinking too much. If I didn’t think as much and as deeply as I do I’m certain I wouldn’t be suicidal and I’d be a much happier person. But I can see the truth about myself and it’s going to make me kill me.
I used to be better than this. I’ve been slowly declining over several years but it was only a little over a year ago when I started to realize there was a time limit on my facade of success. It has been a torturously slow spiral but sometimes I can feel the way it will speed up until I […]
I just found this site today and as a result, I have to skip my Day 40. I’m counting down, counting down to the day I might do it. I don’t know if I’ll get through with it because honestly at this point I’m kinda scared. Scared that I might not succeed and cause more burden to the people around me. Scared of how it’d feel like, the process of dying. There’s still that small part of me that hopes that everything will be okay again but that’s been overshadowed. Today seems to be better. Not brighter, just slightly better than yesterday but don’t be […]
My first post on here was in April of 2015. It is now April of 2016 and I am back on checking this website for the first time in months. I wish I could say that time healed me, but I cannot. I am doing better some days but I know that is because I rarely leave my house or my room. I turned 20 at the end of March. I needed that birthday. It was a good day. I still want to die. I still think about it regularly. I’ve been getting out of the house a little bit more now. I actually have […]
I’m so tired of everything. the quickie marriage to a needy husband (thank god we don’t have kids together), the mean baby daddy, the holier than thou ex-wife, the annoying step-teenager, my teenager that I love dearly, who is my only joy, that is trying to fail, maybe to go live with her much better off financially father, then he gets to be the bad guy, not her, and just life in general.
my super needy husband, is a fucking looser, then he needs praise for simple shit that any grown man should be doing a million times better/more effective than he’s doing it. won’t pay […]
Is it better that we have the choice to say goodbye, very possibly for the last time?, Or is it better not to have a goodbye?
Really I’m sure it’s the first one. At least than you can accept when someone goes that it’s true, …maybe
I guess it’s hard either way most of the time,
“No sir, I don’t like it”
Thoughts?
Someone be proud of me I’m slowly recovering I need support to keep me going one day at a time
Where my ultimate best friends be at I need hugs… And food…. And hugs. Hugs I like hugs. I also like trains… The last pic is a reference to the bunny ONESIE pic of me 
