I dont know where to begin. I was an only child of divorced parents. Both of them remarried when I was 5. My dad and step mom brought  my wonderful brother in this world when I was 7. I was young then so i really didnt see where the attention was going. But as the years came and went and i was around 13 thats when I started cutting myself, in middle school. 8th grade to be exact. I used to lie about it and say that I cut myself on a bush or some bull shit like that. I used anything I could, broken […]
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Brother
I feel like dealing with not being loved is so much harder than dealing with an act of hatred or violence. I was molested as a child and beaten for years, but the scars that remain aren’t from those acts (which came from my brother), but from the fact that I never felt loved as a child by my father and brother. That’s the hurt that I have to live with and that has wrecked my self-esteem.
My father never did any fatherly things with me, like kick a ball with me, come watch me play, do homework with me or anything like that… He always made […]
If you die, just know you could be worst off especially if you don’t believe in anything.
by tigerlily93
written by tigerlily93
There is nothing wrong with being suicidal, but acting on it is.
It is okay to want to die!!
But just know, you prob, feel that way because ou felt unloved or hated by the world, but we have each other.
And, you know what screw the world.
If you think about it some people in the world who arenot suicidal are more messed up than us.
It’s ok
We just have to know our lives aren’t just for us, we love for Jesus and truth and love and all things good, but if you don’t believe that you can die!
And you may not […]
i wanna become an actor/ err maybe an astronaut/ psychologist….eventually when i get better
I have ADD, severe social anxiety issues, i’m scared of people I’m a high school dipout due to loosing friends/paranoia (i have one close friend)from depression due to selective mutism, Im paranoid, some OCD, I’ve had a past some mild sexual abuse…I’m a loner, use to be suicidal, use to think of it everyday but now im better.(i’ve attempted it),I might have avdp, and maybe social ptsd I can be really sensitive but I always bounce back. I’m a mad genius, usually a step or two ahead. I am kind of random, […]
Depression is every where all around me ever since i moved away from my family seven years ago ive never been the same.
last year on the 28th of september something happened that changed me forever.. i flew down for my birthday that week to visit my dad and his new girlfriend. But you see me and his girlfriend got off to a terrible start due to the fact she’d never met me and was telling me i needed to go on medication when she didnt even know anything about me or my life.. Dad explained to me that she herself suffered from depression on was […]
So theres this guy, and hes kinda REALLY creepy.
We supposedly used to have play dates together, which nasts me out .
A couple years ago (i was about 15) I was basically forced to sit with him at space aliens restaurant (lol dont ask). My brother and his friend were thankfully sitting with me and it…till they LEFT to hit the arcade.
Now this guy is always staring, like he makes it obvious, like in a disrespectful way.
Hes not the best looking guy in my opinion.
He made me feel so uncomfortable, he said “are you normally this quiet”?
“I said well I dont really know you.”
(AND dont reaally […]
… I just got a call.. From my best friends brother… She died at 10:48. They couldn’t save her. They said she lost too much blood… That there was no hope to save her… Amanda…my best friend…you promised me..that we were both stuck here with each other… and you left.. Without calling me, without telling me.. without taking me with you… You alone got me through my hospitalization. You gave me hope. You were the only one that could make me laugh anymore… Whose gonna make me laugh now? Whose gonna tell me it’s ok? Whose gonna remember the times we had at the unit? […]
“And I swear at that moment, we were infinite”
Is my favorite quote from my favorite book Perks of being a wallflower.
I must have read that book a thousand times, it always use to help me when I felt down, and I had a lot of favorite quotes from the book, that’s my absolute favorite, because I think we’ve all felt infinite at one point or another.
One time I felt like that, is on Halloween when I was really little and I was trick or treating, and I saw the moon and it was big and full and I couldn’t stop staring at it because I thought it […]
i no alot of people here are probley going through worse then i am but i still would like to share my story so here it goes………….
in 1999 my parents and older sister older brother and younger brother and me wwere all drivin and we got in a wreck killen all of us exept me iwas onlyy 2 and i had to liv in an orphange and it was very scary in there wen u r that young but wen i was 9 i was adopted. iwish she didnt even see me that day because wen i was 13 she pulled me out of school […]
Why did this have to happen?… the world hates people like me and I dont know how to make people happy now…. my mom is getting re-married my dad wants to kill himself my brother is never home and when he is he never wants to talk to me I even have got to the point I cant go on anymore…… It would be best for everyone too they all hate my soul…..I have been shot.. stabbed..and my own mother said I was just better off dead because the world doesnt need another *****…..why?…..why is thhis going on right now?……. please….help…..me……….
So this is going to seem like a complete overreaction but I don’t really care.
I digress.
So my brother and his wife planned this dinner and drinks night for my boyfriends birthday. He went somewhere with his friends for like a pre-celebration thing. I get a text “might be staying here-maybe” Told him i needed to know so i can tell my brother.
Haven’t heard from him for like 3 days.
It’s such a kick in the stomach to know that i wasn’t even invited to where he is. To celebrate his birthday with him. I never get invited to anything. It’s like he doesn’t even care if […]
My19 year old life hasn’t exactly been as “great” as it is right now. This is extremely long, but I’ve finally found a place where I can just let it all out. Thank you to those who read it.
It all started with being raped for 7 years of my life. I didn’t know what was happening or why it had to be a secret. But eventually with age I figured it out. I spent a good chunk of my life afraid. Afraid to be alone with any boys and afraid to get close to them too. I found out that I was chosen because I was “pretty”. […]
In my bedroom closet, I tend to write out how I am feeling about probelms that make me want to kill myself. Most of them are about my parents and how I feel that they never make me feel appreciated.
On the wall one of the messages talk about how my mom always takes sides with. My 5 yr old brother. It gets annoying to know that she has favorites already. I renenber one time when I was upstairs in my room and my brother who was downstairs started crying. Automatically […]
I wouldn’t say I want to die, or commit suicide. I just feel like I don’t want or belong to this world. I’m seventeen and I’m halfway through my a-levels, the only place out of this dump and I’m not getting through it very easily. This place is horrible. It’s so unambitious and it eats at me. My dad’s messed up from the result of his past drug issues and is on medication. He has serious mood swings, and when I get home from school I fear seeing his car on the drive or the kind of mood he’ll be in when I get through […]
Tonight is too much for me, To get through, Tomorrow’s just a darkened hall, To an empty room, When I’m far away from you….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
Im so depressed. This week has been shit. And the worst part was it was all little things that have made me think about how good that shiny piece of sharp metal would look in my wrist.
1. School stuff- things about a crappy tattoo portfolio and being called wierd and having something taken away from me? which is quite confusing.
2. Maths exam- ah…exams. doesn’t everyone love them? espicially those with OCD who are terrified to write in pen and hate the thought of people staring at her because her seat was quite near the front.
3. i not long ago dropped my iPod touch in the […]
So my brother when to jail the other day he was trying to brake into cars and he was high and had a loaded gun.why tho e has everything he ever wanted. we loved him but all he did was hurt us. And on the other hand my boyfriend thinks I’m cheating don’t really wana be alive right now
To be a candle, with a wick almost burned down, the wax melted so far down there is no relighting it- that’s how I see every person’s existence- as a candle with varying amounts of “wax” left, keeping them burning. Elton John was brilliant for using this when Diana perished, what seems like eons ago.
I am not being dramatic when I say I want to die. I want to end my life. I’ve lived for nearly 3 decades now, each decade worse than the last. My first decade and most of my second had me tied into an impoverished family whose only abundance in life […]
I may seem like I have a lot, but I don’t. hear me out…
There’s these two guys(we’ll call them Thing 1 and thing 2). Thing 1 and I met about a year and a half ago. When we met, I was dating this guy. We broke up, and I eventually fell for Thing 1. We almost went out, and over the course of the next year were really close and almost going out. We still are. But, this winter, Thing 2 came a long and moved in to our school. While I still liked Thing 1, I also REALLY liked Thing 2. Me and thing […]
I remember I was the sweetest girl you would ever meet but that all changed when people started bullying me.I got bullied every single day.By everyone and by my family.My mom would always yell at me and my brother would beat me.My other brother would want nothing to do with me.My dad you ask?Lets see he had left me and my mom when I was 5 years old.People would call me fat,ugly,pathetic,Ect.Basiclly all the names in the book.I didnt understand what I did at the time.I would believe everything they said I had so much pressure on me and I still do.That pressure […]
My story starts about 5 months ago when I left a really good job that I done for over 5 years and the pay was great. My wife and dad said not to leave the job, i have two kids.Â
I left this job because I had arranged to drive a taxi that my f@@@ing brother in law said that the pay was good and hours were reasonable because he was doing it (he lied so I can be like him), thinking more money and good hours might as well go for it. Resigned from my good job and my colleagues told me to take a […]