Receiving the phone call, jumping on a plane to LA and taking the elevator up to the 8th floor where my brother was is all a bit of a blur. Walking into to ICU and seeing my brother, broken, swollen, and almost unrecognizable is very clear in my mind. They had to remove the right side of his scull in order to relieve the pressure in his head. His eyes were bulging out of his eye sockets. Blood was slowly oozing from his ears, his eyes and his nose. He was being jerked up and down by the ventilator. […]
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Brother
Im a 13 year girl. I live in Puerto Rico. I go to school. My Family: Mom, Dad, Brother(older)and my grandparents(divorced)ect… My Mission is helping other that have been through the same pain, anger, hatred, and sadness which that cause Depression or Suicide Attempts. The most important thing is to reach them out and say ”Never Give Up” because you are not alone, If you need someone to talk to, to hear you, I’ll be here. Remember ”Never Give Up”
Okay, so I’m starting a new thread because I was hijacking someone elses with my problems and that’s not fair at all, I feel really bad about doing that. I’m sorry.
I basically wrote my story in a comment so I’ll just paste it here and explain a little more.
Such a long story.. I was so desperate last night. I still am and I don’t know what to do. I’m 20 years old, still living at home and I don’t have a job. My biological dad killed himself as did my uncle, we were very close. My mom, who has been married to another man for […]
I… really don’t know what to do. Yesterday, I wrote a post that expressed my desire to no longer live, and yet, I find that something odd is holding me back. Between the wonderful comments yesterday and my family actually being nice to me despite me not even saying much to them, I was actually… happy. I was able to forget about my self- loathing and have a day where people… cared? Such a weird word for me to say. But, I woke up this morning coming down from my high from yesterday- to hear my brother expressing his love for his girlfriend, aka, the […]
I was at the hospital the past couple of weeks & I’m so scared. I’m 18 and I’ve been homeless since Jan., I weigh 70 lbs & I’m barely alive. Everytime my brain tumor goes away, Humphrey (yes I named it) comes back & I’m so sick of hospitals & life. Then they said I was dangerous to others & wanted to send me to a mental institution but I barely dodged a bullet and left. Since I was 8 I’ve had to rely on someone else to help me live [AKA hospitals/doctors] & I hate it. I hate bothering people. I’ve attempted suicide but was […]
She told me to get the rant out. Say all things that you keep telling yourself over and over quietly. Half of them, you won’t even mean or believe. Then talk to her. My mom. That’s all I ever want to do is sit down and talk to her. Have a conversation. In the past five years I’ve cut, made myself throw up, started smoking pot, drinking excessively and ending up in the hospital. I don’t know what I am doing or even why. I am impulsive like my father.
No one knows. My sister calls me psycho, I forgive her. But maybe I am. The […]
As some of you may know, I was raped and abused by my cousin. I hate the fact that my family still has us see each other. And, I always have to choose between:
A: Not going to where ever we’re going as a family and miss out. Which also means not seeing my younger brother or my aunt.
B: Going, and be an anxious freak the whole time. End up crying afterward. And have a huge fear for days of him hurting me again.
I don’t think it’s fair that I have to choose. Like last Saturday, my aunt and I were supposed to go to my other aunts […]
Dena does know about all the times I’ve cut myself, and all the times I’ve tried to kill myself. She’s drilled into my head that she loves me,and life is worth something. I hope all of you know you have something or someone to live for.
 The very first time i had ever cut my self on purpose was when i was 11 with a shaving razzor I saw my sister that was visiting from Tennessee kissing my nieghbor and i dont know why I felt even that young that cheating on someone was and is wrong but i remembered my brother telling me something about cutting helps some times so i grabed my dads shaving razzor and broke it apart and started cutting downward pretty deep it stang for a while and kept stinging for days but after i thought about it in some way it did help so i […]
im new to this so its probly going to be a hue rant. so much has happened and its so hard to talk about. i dont know how this is going to go but …… ill start by saying my name is kyle im 25 and live in DE. i guess the core of my issues comes from the way i was treated as a child, i came from a well to do family with two drug addicted parents. even being fucked up all the time they were loving parents who provided everything material i ever needed but the emotional support was hardly ever there. […]
Today, I am full of angry thoughts. I just checked the gun. How surreal. It’s there. Several are in this house. Now, I need a bullet. 32mm. I find lots of 22 mm, but don’t think that gun is good enough. I’m crazy writing this. I know this is my thinking, my old thinking & thoughts that need to die. I am a follower of Byron Katie. She is a teacher of “loving what is” and this reality raises itself again & again. www.thework.org
I admit, I missed my medication for 2 days. I took it today and will probably be feeling normal soon. I’m so […]
Finally, oblivious parents have recognized my bulimic ways and decided to get me help. I’m going to a doctor tomorrow and I’m actually eating full meals. I feel…. pretty good. I thought all hell was going to break loose if they found out, but they were more understanding than I thought they would be. My brother knows, and he choose to just ignore me instead of supporting, but he can go fuck himself for all I care.
My bulimia was the cause of all my strife. I’ve felt happier in the past two days than I have in a long time. Though it will take me […]
I just ate something that I really don’t feel like throwing up. I’m just sitting here, not knowing what to do. And its not just for the moment. It’s not knowing what to do with my life. Who says I can’t play God with my own life? Nobody. I already have a huge bag full of aspirin in my room. I have a bottle of soda too. I know it probably won’t work like the two other times I tried it, and I will just silently throw up my guts in the bathroom while everyone is sleeping.
I read the one comment I got on my other […]
i feel like everthing that i do is wrong my brother got married i know that i am suppost to be happy for him but after seeing him get married i just wanted to die and my girlfriend is ackting like i make her so unhappy by trying to provide for her and see a month ago she left me for a woman who could take her to games and concerts and i just want to die cause she acks like she doesnt like me anymore and we were getting married i just dont know what to do
I’ve suffered from post tramatic stress disorder for the past 13 years of my life. And only 2 of those years, I’ve acually been getting some suport through councelers and meds. I’m 19 and I live with my only friend in the world. I have no family and no other friends to support me. I’m broke, job-less and running out of time. For the past month, I have been applying and dropping off resumes everyplace close by, and still I am waiting. I owe my friend and his brother $325.00 for rent and bus pass money. If I don’t get a job soon, I’ll be […]
So my younger brother who i was very close to passed away in 2008 from an accidental overdose, i never had the chance to deal with his death because everyone told me i need to be strong for my mom. Since then i closed myself off from people only showing them what they wanted to see not what i was really feeling.
I met a guy shortly after and we had an instant connection and before a month we were living to gether. His the only person who’d seen me cry, after 3 weeks he packed his stuff while i was at work and moved back to his home town without […]
As I sit here trying to write what is so called my life, it is hard to not have suicidial thoughts…
It all started since I was 8 years old. I don’t know why then but I remember one night my brother and I were in the kitchen while my drunk dad and my mom went to the store because my dad demanded more beer. I went to the kitchen sink and grabbed a knife and put it towards my stomach I told him I wanted to die! He took it away from me. After that, it did not happen again.
Recently my ex-fiance from almost 3 […]
I’m not entirely sure what I’m thinking by posting this. I’ve kept to myself for all this time, no one is going to read this, and no one on here cares anymore than anyone around here. I mean, people say the words, but they don’t really mean them. You can hear, “I DO care about you!” but as soon as they say that, they’re off doing something else. But I guess if I’ve come this far, if I typed the words on the search engine that led me to this website, if this really is some low blow at getting suicidal people reported, whatever the reason […]
im not a bad person why does nobody treat me with respect, the only thing i ever do is try and help people and i get hurt for it im failing in college and i cant catch up im realy not in the mood for living right now maybe the next lifetime
people dont seem to like me all i get is grief and insults people prejudging me thinking you wont like this its not your thing, how would you know are you inside my head and if you are howcome your not as confused as i am all i wanted was to be a policeman […]
I was a pretty popular man in High School. Most people seemed to know and like me. But, 3 years after in a month, I’ve gone nowhere. No job, no school. I’m an aspiring writer but don’t know how that’s gonna work out. I guess the saying’s maybe somewhat true after all that the popular kids don’t do well after high school. I wasn’t mean to people unless I felt they were mean first so I wasn’t one of the stereotypical popular people in school. I also did feel suicidal 95% of 2008 and occasionally do this year. Thank GOD not to that extent though. […]