Girlfriend: love me
Parents: be proud of me
Friends: like me
Brother: trust me
Best friend: laugh with me
Please just help me. I couldn’t walk to bed without crying. My leg was numb…and now I just feel this odd pain. The pain 100 cuts in twenty minutes :/ epic job of mine was to
A. Tell someone, who wouldn’t even help me (I don’t blame them)
B. Hit a wall. Fuck.
Tag:
Brother
I’m 12. Freaking 12. And I have a suicide note written.
When I was 11, I fell into a depression. I wasn’t quite sure why, I guess my parents pissed me off too much. I couldn’t go a day without crying. Sure, call me a crybaby.
It was too much stress. I had projects due, tests upcoming, essays my dad forced me to write. I hyperventilated at least five times.
One day, I was printing out another essay when my dad was yelling at me in the other room. I looked down and saw the printer cord…and then suicide popped into my mind. Why not?
I wrapped the cord around my […]
There is someone who bullies me. Someone who teases and taunts and tortures me. That bully is me.
No matter what I do, I notice a flaw in me. I’m stupid, ugly, fat, and friendless. No one listens to me. I doubt my parents even care about me. Whenever I try talking to them, they don’t even bother to understand my problems. I can’t talk to my brother. He has autism and wouldn’t understand anything. My ‘friends’ are fake, as fake as a Barbie doll. No matter how hard I try in school, there are always people who do better than me. I hate comparing myself […]
I live with my brother.. I’ve fucked up my life so good that I can’t get a flat on my own.. I drink and use drugs quite a lot.. Just to get the euphoric feeling for a while.
To feel like normal people. I keep thinking suicide every day, but I always find some reason to keep going. Just another fuckin’ day to the list. I’ve been stabbed in the back so many times
that I isolate myself to make sure that doesn’t happen again.. Not sure what I just wrote, just something that helps me a bit.’Anyways, Everyone who feels similar.. Take care.
Tonight I was feeling total despair…..I lost my brother to suicide in 1999 – I was contemplating just giving up tonight. I got the courage up to call a hot line I felt weird but desperate to have someone hear my pain. The guy on the other line said some things to help me think straight. I do believe if we want to go we will. Despair is something that can be so intolerable the thought of not being is a comfort. I do have love around me but that doesn’t mean that sadness and loneliness doesn’t find its way through. Being on this site […]
hello.
i’m 17, suicidal, and very confused.
I’ve wanted to die for a long time. for many reasons. but the things stopping me have always been the friends who i owe the little sanity i have now, and the hope that i might actually be able to enjoy life at some, more independent point.
Personally i dont understand what family is supposed to be. i don’t understand the love some people have for their families. is that strange? i just. i don’t feel it. my younger brother is the only one that i feel protective of.
however i love my friends with everything i have. they are amazing and nothing will […]
It’s 9:48 AM and all I remember from last night was me sitting in my room, crying, and contemplating death. I remember me sitting there on my bed looking at the pile of pills calling my name. I sometimes think that I think to much, but maybe I don’t, maybe I think about the bad stuff to much. I decided that I should start thinking about everything positive in my life. There are people out there dealing with way bigger problems than mine. Some people are dealing with cancer, somebody’s parents died, they’re brother or sister died, and some people are starving. My life is […]
I guess what makes for the best dark comedies is the twist that no one sees coming, right?
So, here I am about to take the pills I have been able to amass when I receive some good news. An advocate is going to assist me in the legal action that I am trying to bring against my brother for sexually abusing me before I was 7! This makes me happy. Someone is actually willing to give me a small hand with this shit. Be a buffer with the police, so that I don’t have to keep reliving it over and over again. Although this is […]
This is what could, as you would say “break the camel’s back”. I may have lost someone I considered a brother, but I could lose the only closest person after him… My sister (not related).
My sister and I have been close friends for close to about six years. We have spent so much time together and told each other many secrets. Even though I still act somewhat paranoid around her, I know she still cares for me and we love each other very much. It was only recently did we start talking again since there was a break in our education that allowed up free […]
About a week ago I found out how fucked up my family is, my mums an actress so she goes on tours alot and my dad is a psychotherapist who has been trying to get his quilification for 11 years!
My dad is a lazy alchoholic but he dosent hit me, but he manipulates my emotions until i’m crying in your room for an hour or 4. My mum hates him because she has payed about 250,000 punds on his training so we’re broke. My brother ignores it by doing working and other activities. My dad is very….. destructive, of people and my stuff. He has […]
I really don’t understand. Nothing affects me like my father. I’ve had my brother tell me he is so disappointed in me, that I am selfish and immature, that I abuse the ones I love with what I do, that all I care about is attention-seeking, that I’m going to fail in life. I’ve had my mother tell me that she simply can’t believe that I am not doing this to hurt her. That my cutting, that my suicide attempts, that even my physical illnesses like my catatonic episodes where I ended up in Hopkins Neurology because I couldn’t move my body, that all of […]
Just want to say to all who is in hard time at the moment, STAY STRONG, you were born to make a diference in this world.
You are just so much better than those people or things that upset you, who ignoring you, who or what makes you scared… There are people who love you and who DO care for you, they may be near, or you’ll meet them later in your life (you sure will), and they need you. Think about them. Do not be selfish. You are wonderful, beautiful and this world needs you!
Believe in yourself! I DO!
Read some books, look for answers, talk to somebody, look in to yourself, try […]
I truly don’t know where to start; what I feel right now is from years adding up. It is from everything I have delt with and truly feels like nothing is ever enough. Please bare with my bad grammer and sentence structure I am typing as it comes to me and I’m a little shoken up at the molment.
Ok background I have two brothers who are older than me the eldest we will call Nick the middle Kevin. I am a gay male and I know the fact but have never accepted it. If you ask me I will tell you truthfully I am. If […]
After coming home from school, my ride dropped me off at my sisters smoothie shop. There my sister barely talked to me, and barely made any eye contact with me. I tried acting normal and trying to talk to her,but she wouldnt say anything.  I sat at one of the tables ani took out my books to do my homework. My sister said someing and i didnt hear her so i asked her to  repeat it. Then she started to say all this shit about me. She started saying things such as, youre a disgrace, im embarrassed to call you mysister, youre inresponsible,  and you […]
Let’s see. 4 years. 4 years ago was the first time I took a blade to my own wrist. And now here I am, barely a teenager and I want to die for the millionth time. Whenever something bad happens I automatically think; “let’s save that for later, you can rid the tainted blood with one trip to your special drawer”. But sometimes, sometimes it isn’t enough. Sometimes I just have a thousand thoughts running through my head, all of the bad things that have happened and keep happening. Hey, your antidepressants make you cold all the fucking time. Your dad is never here and […]
I got kicked out of my moms house a year ago, and the day since my life hasn’t been the same. I’ve been out for a year now because I called her a ***** because she was being one. That’s it…kicked out for over a year for saying “stop being a ***** for 2 minutes”. I moved in with my grandma (worst fucking decision I could ever make). Day after day of being out in the country away from my friends and family, it hasn’t been the same. I lost all of my friends, and since she’s 5 miles away its a hassel going to […]
Don’t know if it relevant, but needed some advice.
I just got back from Boston. I live in Oxford, UK.
I am coming back to Oxford to face another problem of mine.
I have a best friend, we only be together about like 3 months but he is so nice to me.
A few weeks ago, I was drunk, really drunk. I didn’t remember much thing, apparently I texted him to come to pick me up. It was 1.30 am. He came, took me all the way back from the city centre to my room, put me in bed. The next morning, Â I found out about everything. He couldn’t […]
It never gets better.
Maybe it does for others, but not for me.
When I was younger I heard a song that said “love heals the heart,” and I protested, saying that it only seems to heal the heart, and just brings more pain. The last year had changed my mind. My boyfriend is great. Finally felt safe. But now I’m realizing I was right. I love him. So much. Yet he still brings pain. I mean we all do, I guess. But it’s so unfair.
He hurt himself again tonight. 10 minutes after the promise not to expired. I was planning on renewing the […]
I get a bunch of crap from a lot of people. I have been hurt all my life… I never got used to it. My dad calls me crap, tells me I’m not worth a place on Earth. My mom shoves God down my throat 24/7. My brother makes jokes about suicide a lot. I have to lie to my family, act like everything is fine. I told my grandma about my friends cutting to see what she thinks about cutting before I told her that I do it. She responded ” Oh My God, why would anyone cut, Â Its so disgusting.” I ended up […]
I’m not in a good mood today. It was a P.E day. We had to dance with boy partners and most of all of them i had was wanting to switch partners, meaning, i’m an unenthusiastic, worthless creep. I was depressed all day over one little thing. i’m so ridiculous. I wanted to cut myself all day, it was so painful to be me. These things, negative comments, just triggered me to want to kill myself. Anyway, i have a plan to. I don’t mean to give people ideas, but i just wanna know if it’ll work. One idea was to take an overdose of […]