I guess i am not the ordinary 17 year old kid, I walk around with a tophat with goggles, long leather coats with spikes on them and jeans with chains. But this not even why people threaten me everyday, or throw rocks at me because they did that before I started looking weird. I guess it’s just me, for some reason I probably deserve it, because no matter what i do, no matter where i go i always get punished. When it’s not people punishing me it is faith, broken bikes with 15km to  go and no one to reach, trains suddenly all stop, beehives […]
Tag:
Cancer
Abandoned by my mother
Raped by my grandpa
When i told abandoned by my grandmother
Raped by my brother
Abandoned by everyone in my family but my dad
Went to court
Diagnosed with Pseudo seizures
Struggling with depression, anxiety, ptsd, insomnia, cutting and other mental illness’s
You would thing my life wouldn’t get any worse.
About 3 month ago, I noticed a lump in my upper left abdomen, it hurt but i ignored it.
1 month ago the pain moved to my lower right abdomen.
In my right abdomen I had an ovarian cyst. Nothing bad right?
I told them about pain on my left side. They did a CT scan. And found a mass.
For the last […]
Hold it together.
Birds of a feather.
Nothing but lies and crooked wings.
I have the answer.
Spreading the cancer.
You are the faith inside me.
No, Don’t, leave me to die here.
Help me survive here, alone.
Don’t Remember!
Remember!
Put me to sleep, Evil Angel.
Open your wings, Evil Angel. (Ahhh)
I’m a believer.
Nothing could be worse.
All these imaginary friends.
Hiding betrayal.
Driving the nail.
Hoping to find a saviour.
No, don’t, leave me to die here.
Help me survive here, alone.
Don’t Surrender!
Surrender!
Put me to sleep, Evil Angel.
Open your wings, Evil Angel. (oohh)
Fly over me, Evil Angel.
Why can’t […]
It hurts the way you ignore me
You put me on the edge hoping i drift away from you
Im always with you,
My only regret in life was sharing something beautiful with you.
You betrayed me let me fall and rust and disintegrate.
Now im dead, not in body but soul
I will hunt your conscience for the things you did, and for the things
you didnt.
Do you know how it feels to disintegrate over several years of pain and suffering?
Now im empty, filled only with the pain of old and new. My destiny seems to be
pain.crying.anxiety.hate.regret.suicide. Today,tomorrow,forever.
The pain fill my […]
Everyone has to die one day, then why should wait for your death. It is better to take your life by your own way, a less painful death. Why should wait for some miserable disease like cancer. And most importantly if you are so hopeless that you don’t even want to wake in the morning. You wish that you never been born at first place. You don’t have a single person in your life to trust, to share your pain. When you are back stab by your best friend, cheated by your girlfriend, watching your father died with cancer. When the nightmares don’ let you […]
Sam Worth was my friend. He battled depression for many years after his family was taken from him. His wife died in childbirth, his daughter 4 years later from cancer. He told me once that SP saved his life. That he met people here who truly understood and wanted to help. In return he tried to help where he could. I know because he helped me. a lot.
He died in hospital last week. Cancer.
Goodbye, friend.
I hate OWLS. It’s said if you hear an owl cry it means someone you know is going to die.
I thought I was done hearing them after my boyfriends cousin died from Cancer last summer. Today I find out that Talia died. I’m so sorry for anyone who has or knows someone who’s going through this. Idk, I just decided to write what I felt because I’m sad, and all this brings memories from when Ernie my boyfriends cousin passed away. I always thought life was so hard for me, but it’s harder for people suffering.
Rest in piece to all the souls that were taken […]
I am 19. I used to get bullied and sexually abused when I was in elementary school. In middle school, there was no sexual abuse just bullying, but I met Him. We didn’t go to the same middle school, but he lived across the street from me. I was at his house every day when I got out of school. His brother, Him, and I. We were always alone as their uncle and aunt were always out working or partying. Soon, it was only he and I..together alway. We went to the same highschool and I was bullied no more. He had given me a […]
I want to die, i hate my life my family is terrible my brother is crazy ,a thief and a horrible person, his purpose in life is to annoy people, and my sister makes me feel bad about everything you come home happy she opens her mouth you want to kill yourself, school is awful, the only reason i am going is because my parents abuse me and i can’t say no to them also my father won’t give me a dime so i have to go to sell people answers to tests, homework and exams so i can get enough change to combine into […]
The constant movement, struggle, and rotation of the world sets my mind ablaze. The constant parade of our society shouting demands from all people of all ages to look like this, talk like this, dress like this, believe in this, support this; if not, you’re nothing. How sweet is that…?
The neverending battle between good and evil, which has an invisible origin, kills my nerves every day. It’s like it makes me paranoid, asking myself constantly, “Am I believing in the right God?”, “Am I acting like I’m supposed to in order to be a member of this spiritual group/organization?”…..thoughts of ‘not being good enough’ or […]
I’m not sure how to say this, I’ve never posted on something like this before. But I quit.
I’m turning 18 in almost 2 weeks, but I don’t think I’ll last that long. I’m depressed, I have been for a while, but instead of accepting that and finding a way to cope with it, my dad is ignoring it. I really noticed it after my mom passed away a year and a half ago. Granted, it’s normal to be sadder than usual during that time, I realize this. To try and cheer up, I tried looking back at the time before we learned she had cancer, […]
Not really even sure what I’m going to accomplish by posing to this website. I hate my life. It’s a pretty miserable existence being me. Not because I live in Africa where I have no food and poor hygiene. Not because I’m terminal with cancer. Not even because I was born to a horrible family that abused me. None of that. After everything that has happened to me in the past couple years especially, I can’t find a reason to keep going. I hate my god-forsaken fucking life. I hope I die soon. I hope to effect that change soon. And just so there is […]
I’m going to try and give my story the best way I can. I haven’t been on this Earth for a very long time, and I’ve been plagued by problems (but not as much compared to come of the posts I’ve read on here). I started having suicidal thoughts when I was about 10, and I’ve had them ever since. I started having them because I was being bullied very badly at school. My Mother (who is going to appear many times in this story), also picked on me but not as bad. Fast forward 2 years from then, I started getting homeschooled, and my […]
I hate it every second of the day. I hate beeing a human. I hate everything about this civilization.
My heart cries every day, when i see all the slaughter of animals.. when i see all the killing, i hate people. We are the most evil creatures in this world. We will and we are ruin everything beautifull.
i’m sick and tired of watching this. is like i don’t belong in this world i dont belong anywhere. and anyone.
I hate it. I hate my life and everythig i do and i’we done its pointless.. nothing changes.. Only thing i love in this shitbag world are animals and […]
Last friday my oxy script ran out so I had to go 3 days without it, those three days were hell all I could think about was getting high again. I just dosed up on about 9o milligrams of oxy. I dont wanna go through this again ive relapsed hard and I dont wanna go threw this again. I met the girl of my dreams and I know if she finds out im screwed. I live a double life my friends hate drug users yet im high as a kite everytime im around them and I dont wanna lose anymore friends. At this point these […]
Sometimes I wish I had something horrible happen to me just so someone that “loves” me would notice that I am not okay. I’ll thought of the typical poison,cutting,drowning. But now everytime I’m by a road I want to jump infront of it. I’ve even thought o0f how much love and care I would feel if I got cancer. . . I feel selfish and on the right track all at the same time. Am I the only one?
hi, i’m not a good writer, so i’ll just lay it out. Â im 32, ive spent the last four years busting my ass to get into grad school. I have always been depressed, but I don’t remember much from before my dad died. Last may I found out I was gonna have a son. In Sept my mom died. In Dec my baby was born. This semester was a blur, but I managed to fail the GRE, get rejected from grad school, fail a critical class, but I managed to walk with my class back in may. My aunt has just been diagnosed with […]
To the girl who was called ‘ugly’ by the many people she’d call ‘friends’, we will remember you.
To the boy who’s sexuality made him a target of beating bullies, we will remember you.
To the high school dropout who followed the wrong path of alcohol and drugs, we will remember you.
To the man who had no home, love or hope, we will remember you.
To the woman who lost her husband to cancer, we will remember you.
And to the all the other innocent, pure minds who have taken their lives, we will remember you, and the suffering you have once endured, Is now peace within the heart.
I used to self harm, not an awful lot but the marks remain on my wrists. I still get that feeling of wanting to make myself bleed just to get that rush of adrenaline. My father recently died of cancer, 8 months ago almost to this day in fact. We weren’t and still aren’t a rich family, and we’ve had money problems and we’ve had that worry of their being a letter on the doormat when we come home telling us we were being evicted, but luckily it has not come to that. My auntie died two years ago, and my grandma 5 years ago. […]
Hey everyone !
I guess I just need some place safe to share my story before I put an end to it.
I am almost 18 now and since the day I was born I never found anything that was worth living for.
My dad used to beat up my mom , so I would stay with my grandma sometimes , so that I didn’t have to witness it. Growing up my mom ended up finding a way to escape with me and my brothers.
We were okay for a while…
My dad didn’t care about me anymore , and I had serious self esteem issues. […]