The day that i’ve come to an end…
My boyfriend left me just 20 minutes ago…
He left me because i was depressed and he couldn’t take it anymore…
This is my third post here…
i’m gonna hang myself today, i’m gonna drink, i’m gonna use cocaine…
I’m not going to be alive this morning…
I’m hanging myself….
I’m sorry to everyone, my friends, my family…
I just can’t take it anymore…
I’m sad, i’m depressed, i’ve been trying suicide for years…
I don’t want to die, but it seems like the only way…
I don’t love anything anymore, i’m empty…
i’m in such much […]
Tag:
Cocaine
Well… I’m a Brazilian boy, 18 years old (English is my second language, but i’ll try my best here.)
My first attempt of ending my life was in 01/01/2014, i tried taking antidepressant pills, i’ve ended up in the hospital for 3 days… my father commited suicide when i was very young, my mother never talks to me, when i was 7 years old i was abused by an older boy… later on i’ve became homossexual… no one knew about all this shit ’til 2 years ago…
i’ve dated a boy who is trying to help me now, i think sometimes that he’s the only person […]
I’m a little bit new to this whole blogging my feelings thing, but i can’t keep it to myself anymore. I hate myself, i dont know how or wen i did, or i think maybe i always have. I dont think ive ever been happy. When I was really little it was me my mom my dad and my little brother. I always try and remember my childhood as being happy and i’m always that one person to point out the good in any situation, but it’s time i tell the truth. My dad was a rug addict. my dad did crack and cocaine and […]
About a year ago I was had a casual relationship with the best person I have ever met and probably the only person I have loved in my 22 years. One night we hung out and got really drunk and I did a couple of lines of cocaine and smoked some pot and we ended up having sex not for the first time. I got way to exploratory and tried anal with her she said it hurts and then later stop but I didn’t because I am a **** human being. She forgave me and was more angry after I cut myself out of her […]
I am 18 years old, I am a recovering intervenes drug addict , I was shooting up morphine and oxy cotton when I was 16 resulting in shooting up heroine at 17 , just months ago I came to Nova Scotia to become sober , in all honesty I travelled from one province to another to make some money selling my ass for some cash, it turned bad and I ended up showing on my Aunts doorstep , strung out begging not to send me back to newfoundland. where the depth of my addiction began , Eventually things began to change around here , I would […]
I explained in my last post how many of my problems are congenital: that i’m extremely stupid, unattractive, physically undeveloped, and have no personality. The pain from this reality is escalating and i’m becoming increasingly angry at the world for it’s lack of empathy. For example, I’ve been to the cinema twice in the past two weeks and on both occasions people sitting opposite have laughed at me and called me a spastic/retard because of the way I stare at the screen and snicker repeatedly at funny moments because I’m too afraid to talk. I’m sick of sales assistants and security guards who glare at me […]
It’s been 33 days since I decided I was going to take my own life.
On the first of April my beautiful princess died at age just 6months. This was the day I decided I was going to leave this evil world too.
This situation has been tragic due to the fact it was so sudden. There was nothing wrong with her, I put her to sleep, went to do some chores and came back to find her cold and blue, she was gone.
In the time I’ve had to spend without her, I have turned to the use of cocaine, I usually smoke weed but that hasn’t […]
i had to abandon my two best friends 4 months ago. we were three and we had that kind of friendship that we couldn’t stay all day without seeing each other. we were brothers.
my friendship had started with them and along with this friendship i started to do cocaine. we all did cocaine. we were three cokeheads. three junkies. but fuck! we were three mothercuking brothers, and that no one can deny.
but when i was with those brothers, i forget about my real ones. my real brothers. my brother, my sister and my parents. i forgot my family. i and i’m sorry for that, for […]
6 months ago, my 12 year old brother was in independent detention when he tried to choke himself with the wire of a spiral notebook. Gladly, someone caught him and they had the school’s deputy escort him to a behavioral institution. At the end of my school day, I was waiting down in the band hall for two of my friends, Valerie and Wolfgang, when I got the text from my mother that read: [Your brother] tried to kill himself at school. Dad and I are going to the Littleton Behavioral Institute. We don’t know when we’ll be home but you need to take care […]
Hm, this is my first time so please bare with me.
I am a young woman just turning 18. I have my group of friends. Active with school. Well liked overall. I only have all this because I thought that if I didn’t I would be tortured by the same kids that I try have love me. I live in a small town so everyone thinks they know all about me.
But in all honestly no one knows how fucked up I am.
I claim to stay positive,be strong,be your own person. The sad part is I don’t all the follow that. I’m a hypocrite. Last year one of my […]
I don’t understand why I feel this way. It’s like no matter what I do I am still a pathetic worthless piece of trash who deserves to be beaten and raped. I am 22 now and my life should be better I haven’t talked to my step dad in 7 years. I thought I was better now. Last spring I was raped by two strangers and ever since I have been lashing out at people. I want them to hurt me because if I star it then the only person I have to blame is me… The down side is that now I just want […]
Why is it now that I am faced with my past and what I have done? Why couldn’t it have happened earlier or later? I was already in a state of some sort of depression, and now this? I don’t understand, and I am now carrying the famous ‘ball and chain’ my father has spoken of many times in the past. I have set my goals and made plans, but I thought that’s all there was to it, besides the occasional struggle (people judging you, speaking against you, blah blah blah). I thought that people around me would be my struggle on the path to […]
Im very young only 14 but you would never guess that Im 6 feet 3 inches and always was the big kid.  My parents sheltered me until i was 7 when my mother abandoned us.  I got depressed but i never let out untill my depression turned to rage i got into fights in middle school broke peoples ribs but got off the hook because i did very well in school one day i was blind sided and broke my foot that’s when i got introduced to oxycodone i got addicted it eased my pain and i calmed down i had to steal money from my dad to get the stuff I later  started regularly poping pills whether it […]
Im sure I sound like a million different ppl u all have heard but, SUICIDE IS NEVER THE WAY!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE READ MY STORY AND I HOPE IT CAN HELP AT LEAST ONE PERSON. I came home from the hospital about 3 hours ago and it starts like this…. I an 23 years old/female and have struggled with depression and anxiety from the age of 12. I was sexually abused as a child by multipule family members including my own father. i have always struggled with my identity and feeling that others didnt love me and i never loved myself very much either. I have […]
I’ve done so many bad things I don’t know if there’s hope for redemption and I feel like I may as well end my life. Â About a year ago I started drinking heavily and started consorting with people from the gutter. Â I then began using drugs and since then have continued to use Cocaine. Â Every time I do it, it’s after drinking a lot and I drink a lot because I feel despair and lost, and then the next day I feel even worse. Â My wife wants to divorce me, I’ve ruined our finances, I’ve cheated, stole, and gone from being a good father […]
I feel sick all the time. From drinking problem to cocaine to meth back to full-blown alcoholism, then it was pills and painkillers and benzodiazepines and now I’ve finally graduated to heroin addict. As l look down at my hands, swollen and shaky and an odd color of purplish-grey…. I don’t know how I got here. I’m only 22 and I need 12-13 hours of sleep per day and so much therapy and alllll my spare time spent in waiting rooms for drs offices and hospitals…. I’m so so sick and I wonder if life would just be easier if I was gone. I no […]
lets start here u see i lived in texas till a year ago im 19 now so i just graduated highschool when that happened. so we moved to arizona and my mom picked up drinkink now she has fallen more and more into alcoholism to the point where just this night she hit me in my messed up back with a pipe and then proceeded to call the cops now shes gonna wake up tomorrow im gonna show her the video i took and shes gonna do what she always does shes gonna deny it and walk out the door then she will come home […]
Please dont feel sorry for me. I hate that. I’m only 17, I seem young to have gone through as much as I have. My life has gone to ruins. Ive been depressed for almost 4 years now. I’m bipolar adhd horrible anxiety and under weight. I take lots of medicine. But I’m tired of the life I’m living. 14 years ago my mom hung herself in a bathroom. She was addicted to cocaine and 3 men that she was buying from raped her. The doctor who did the exam on her said she wouldnt try to kill herself bqut she did. She did cocaine […]
Go away. I do not want you around. Let me alone. Stop asking what is wrong.
You cannot fix it. Nobody can fix it. No I do not want to see it a different way because it will still exist.
I do not want to deal with it at all. I never asked for it. I never wanted it.
All your suggestions have been tried. And I refuse to settle. Refuse to accept and deal with that which is not wanted.
No more risks. No more grasping at straws. No more extending a hand only to get it burned or bitten.
No more believing the lies. No more giving in […]
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