I have a reason to stay alive. I know nobody cares but for so long I barely lived with any reason but now I found him. He brings me pure happiness. For the first time I have a smile that is really mine. Behind closed eyelids no longer am I haunted with nightmares and worry but peace and knowing when I wake up he will be there right beside me. When I feel his warmth the coldness in my heart melts away and I am left feeling such strong love that it keeps my thoughts so far away and I can actually live. I am […]
Tag:
Coldness
she says will you love me forever
of course he says yes
but for the countless times
she seen this like all the rest
end in failure
cause people lie
for that she has yet to find
what should she do
she says
good but do you promise
no matter what he says
she will trust him
but he says yes
they end in a kiss
they are pulled together
and soon let go
apart
she locks her front door
and proceeds to her room
where her true love
awaits her
hello she says
nothing is said
because this is not a human
its a […]
As you can tell by my new post I didn’t hang myself!! I went and talked to my aunt and she is going to help out. My son and I will be moving into her garage apartment this weekend which is a huge help because she is only going to charge me $200 a month for rent and food! She called her church and tonight I got a huge bag of clothes for Broox!!! Little man is styling in his new batman pjs as we speak.
As I’m writing this Broox is laying beside me sleeping with his little legs thrown over onto mine and I […]
Right now, I am contemplating life. What’s the point? Purpose eludes me. At this moment, I don’t see much point in going forward. My life is mediocre at best. And even if it gets better.. what is “better,” and what is it really worth? Does better mean more money? At this moment, I couldn’t care less about money. Money can’t buy happiness or love. It could buy me a house, but what would I do in it that I don’t already do (eat, sleep, bathe, find ways to entertain myself..). I could go back to school.. to do what? Get a better job to make […]
Where do I start? lets take today, worked for a promotion for 3 yrs, today rejected at the final hurdle, im just distroyed, my life has just been 1 rejection after another. To the outside world im a normal guy with a decent job providing a decent life for my wife and 2yr year old. But inside im in a world of hurt and pain, my parents have always been cold towards me and that had a serious affect on me, I was abused sexually by my older cousin, and because of the coldness towards me was never able to tell anyone, I blamed myself, I was […]
Does such a thing exist?
I heave a sigh, looking out of the panes of my window. It’s raining today. It doesn’t usually rain here in Southern California but I like the change of pace. It reminds me of the song “I’m only happy when it rains….”
Each drop tears down my cheek. Why do I bother. Why do I create this sense of hope? Why does it tag me along so painfully. I’m just going to be thrown in the mud again.
I hate the word why. I say it too frequently. I never get an answer.
I see her. In my mind, its sunny, ooh and its […]
Things been fucked up more than ever. My boyfriend still can’t show any of warm feelings, acting like a snowman, can’t even make himself tell that he misses me and so on.. So finally i told him, that i’d rather choose not to have him, than having him like that. I asked him not to write me, not to call me, not to find me anymore..except he will find some feelings.. I just couldn’t take that coldness anymore.
My friend called at the same time, i was cryin.. so She took a food, bottle of wine, Marlboro and came up.. Feeded me, drunk me, poison me […]
u can imagine your self, fly out the window…hit the ground beow, pain…and no more…
i want to quit my life…
coldness…no one can save me….