Hey guys. I am realizing something here. I have to move on. I have a picture with myself since I was 8 years old. I look at that picture and imagine what he wanted. He was a good kind child. His parents gave him the best they had. He had computer and a shelter+ food. Some of us don’t have this, some of us are paralyzed, having serious medical problems and the list can continue. The divorce of my parents and my introverted nature shattered my world, and the dissapointments with my exes. But still, like Salt said, I am good looking and smart. I […]
Tired lonely and sad
I let the cold comfort me
I hope i never wake up
Do you hate when people lie to comfort you? I do…that is what happened yesterday and today. So, I am talking to my counselor and I tell her something that happened at home. I say you cannot tell, please. But nope… “I am sorry, I am mandated to tell” was her response. Then she tells me “nothing will come of it.” Then today I get told “something will most definitely come of it.” I don’t know who to believe; my counselor or the other person. I was also told “well it was nice knowing you. They’re gonna talk you out of your house.” Which where […]
i didnt know what to title this so heres the song that im listening to right now.
its interesting how we all attempt to comfort each other when we all know how the other person feels. when someone wants to kill their self people say no, because its wrong, a sin, selfish, or simply “not worth it to end a beautiful life”, and thus try to prevent a suicide. but if you truly understood how they felt ten why force that person to live in misery?
now im not saying that everyone should go commit suicide but when a person is at their worst and wakes up every […]
as you all know, I attempted suicide Friday night and had to be taken by ambulance and then to the psyche ward. While I still believe that the mentally ill should choose only if they go to treatment, I think that many would opt out once they got finished. I was one of them. After 6 days of treatment, I would have refused euthanasia. I loved the group and they loved me. I never in my life got so much positive feedback from people who was suffering just like me.
there is a problem. I’m still an alcoholic. I drank today. I called my dad and […]
caveats, inherent to their nature and purpose, usu come after, being creatures that covet comfort, but fuck strunk and white (writers know who the fuck these O-muthafuckin-Gs are) but CAVETE*** if I were asked, what are you rebelling against, my bone marrow would diffuse the clichéd and ironic answer,….;”what the fuck you got?’ thru evry poor, every vessel; my body w2ould find itself inclined, not a single fiber exempt, interstitial fluid would provide the bass line….society no longer bothers me, and there is something intrinsicly wrong with that…but i digress….***cavete; the longer thiese linesz proliferate out into the void of the dead that walk among […]
I originally joined this forum seeking advice regarding methods. Then found comfort in posting sadness.
A few weeks later I’m just commenting like a chat forum. Maybe not a few weeks, I’m still new, time drags when you’re miserable.
Why did you join this forum?
Why are you still here?
Can you feel it? The dead weight yor legs from the sleeping pills, the dizziness from the alcohol, the soft throbbing of your pulse as blood is pumped out of your wrists? That’s it. That’s what we’ve been waiting for, that’s the quiet comfort. The beauty of dying.
I have read The Peaceful Pill and I think I know how I’d like to go. I won’t post it but knowing the how somehow gives me a slight sense of peace in amongst all the chaos.
A very small part of me tells me to keep going, struggle on. A mountainous part of me however speaks to the contrary telling me that my struggle has been long (and it has) with no hope of living any sort of life away from the angst that consumes me. I have posted before parts of my struggles. They don’t begin to explain the war that exists inside of […]
Okay, I was seeking advice and my brother gave me this B.S :
” People react differently to pain.Its so easy to opt out of life…It takes courage to face life.one is the way of comfort the other is the way of maturity.Those that stand in the way of comfort are miserable right now.Whats the cure?Man was created to entrust himself to His creator…not to live for anything else.As soon as these posts change,man loses the courage to live.We are created to fellowship in the love of God…Grace and Peace to you through our Lord Jesus Christ who LOVED US and shade His blood for all our […]
They make me feel better émotions-wise but it’s fake, it’s all fake feelings made by some white fucking pill; escitalopram. It doesn’t stopy my suicidal thoughts either, they’re not based on emotion. I don’t want them gone though, they comfort me in times of need. I want to explode. I will explode. I’m fucked.
The leaves blow gentle through that quiet night,
ever buffeted by the interminable winds,
tossing them back and forth.
Cessation never comes, nor therefore reprieve,
those veined, paper-thin sheets of matter
those had been once unified in life, now dying in separation
bare no word or action to tell of their torment
for true silence is their only comfort,
and, upon destruction, their only reward.
They live, they die.
And, somewhere in between, they suffer.
When I fall asleep tonight
Will the voices stop
Will an angel come to comfort me
Or a demon come to mock
Make a joke of suffering
And laugh in my face
Let the darkness smother me
While the echoes fill the space
“They hate you”
“They crave you”
These voices never change
They argue with themselves
They magnify my pain
“They’re watching. Not leaving”
Paranoia is setting in
“Even when you’re dreaming
They know your every sin”
Today I volunteered at a free kitchen. It was reasonably satisfying.
Now, rather than feeling depressed, I feel alienated at all levels – social, familial, spiritual, material, physical, personal, etc. Everything that previously held meaning for me seems utterly meaningless. Only the avoidance of animal discomforts – cold, hunger, pain, loudness – has any glimmer of motivation; even achievement of animal comforts – warmth, satiety, comfort, quiet – seems irrelevant.
Is this an improvement? I’m not sure.
Is alienation treatable? Also not sure.
Um, hi. So I’ve been visiting this site for a quite a few months now and finally feel like I dont want to lurk in the shadows any more. Perhaps its because my bf of seven years just broke up with me and I finally feel like I seriously want to end it now. Maybe I am just an attention seeking weakling that should just get over it… idk. All I do know is that I feel different about suicide now. Before the thoughts were scary but now they offer a sense of comfort. Planing different ways I could do it is more exciting to […]
I lie here trying to get myself to understand why I so badly need to destroy my life tonight. I have pondered on every explanation as to why I want to watch my own blood flow like a river around me. I have a loving family that would protect me regardless the reason, a house which provides me with ample physical comfort, and a friend who would never think of judging me. I have so many reasons to live, and so many things to lose. I can tell myself that many times, but I can’t seem to accept it emotionally.
Mum asked me today if I have any plans for next week.
No mum, nothing much.
Yes mum, I’m going to kill myself if you give me half a chance.
I want to comfort her in advance but she’d stop me.
I have to do this for myself…
Or die trying.
That’s the idea anyway.
I have had some rough days and nights. One night I came to my limit! I was worn out, exhausted at dealing with all my depression, anxiety, fears, anger…etc by MYSELF! I called my crisis line and got a guy that when I talk to him, I do not feel comfort. I decide, as he answers, I will tell him I only needed to tell someone how sad I was, how worn out I was and that was all. He goes into a speech trying to give me advice and I tell him, I am not looking for advice, I just want to share that feeling so […]
Oh Suicide Project,
That sweet stranger that I think of so often but visit far less. It has been ages and I fear I’ve locked away all these real emotions again. Alas, I will be back for the time because you are the only silent friend I can seek out for comfort and solace.
Until next time,
TheForgottenFew
Tonight after I get to see my kids I will end my life. I have bought them a gift that will always remind them of me and how much I love them. It is my time to go to end my pain. I love my children and hope they will understand as they are 9 and 10. My two daughters are and always will be my angles!
What I wouldn’t give to have a woman one time tell me she loves me before I go. All I ever wanted was to be loved and be a good father. May those that are here find peace in […]