Hello SP community!!!! How is everyone doing today?? I hope you all are as well as can be expected……….. I know that those of us that even come to a site like this are not in the best Mental Health and if you are anything like me you really don’t have too many (or maybe none???? I know I fall into such a category…..) good days. But I can wish it for you and perhaps something can come along and make the day a little more tolerable and a light of hope-if nothing but a spark-can help you make it through one more day. So, […]
today, I was suppose to go out looking for community service hours but no dice. everything I’ve been doing to better myself keeps backfiring some way. I don’t know how much longer I’ll have before I blow up mentally. there’s just so much a person can take before being pushed so hard… that they don’t even have the will to live anymore.
I wonder how far in desperation I’ve fallen to resort to this online community to vent my feelings.
I’ve looked up many ways to cope with depression and anxiety, but everything just sounds so fake and cliche..
Things like “don’t give up hope”, “relax your mind”, etc.. Am I the only one who thinks this way?
I can never take advice like this.. it’s sooooooo cliche and shows no compassion whatsoever.. well what do I expect.. I was just one WebMD for this shit.
How do I even cope with this misery? And why can I never like myself and forgive myself?…
Just a quick question to the community at large. Taking anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, and mood stabilizers during the day. Take benzos and sedatives at night to calm myself and help me sleep. Thing is, I’m been getting progressively more and more depressed, especially during the day. Feel like shit during the day too, kind of like a hangover. I’m starting to wonder if the benzos/sedatives are making things worse, almost sorry I started taking them. Anyone have any thoughts about this? Can they add to the depression? Any comments will be much appreciated.
So it’s been a while since I’ve posted properly. Had a good vent.
Honestly, it’s because I haven’t needed to. Things are good. They feel good. Only they don’t really feel good. Not like they should. Not like they did.
Made a new friend. It’s nice having a new friend. Distracts you from your own life.
I have a nice little community, a nice support system, if you will. And we all look out for each other. And they just accepted me in one day. And they treat me like a friend, they are genuinely interested in my life and how I’m doing. I haven’t had that in […]
I am 55 male and have been suffering from depression for over 2 decades. I guess it all started a bit earlier when my mum committed suicide in front of me at the age of 8. That image never cease to haunt me…
Ever since my mother’s death, i buckled all my emotions and managed to do well in uni and got a very well paid job. I was respected in the community but now this dark cloud has amassed over my head again and tried as i have like in the past. I cant go on. I used to draw strength from my son , […]
the internet. i’ve always invisioned going into a community and visualizing them face to face except we’re not really face to face. its just the illusion inside our minds. our bodies make the motion. so any time i enter a forum or whathaveyou, i imagine it a lot like entering into a room already chalked full of people, some you know and some you don’t. the ones that don’t know you happen to see you first, thus already altering an outcome.
stranger: hey, hello…i’m not sure why i’m drawn to you but i am and i just wanted to say hello.
me: plus you gave me a […]
So Im new here. Kind of. Ive kinda been browsing this site on an off since I first found in in 2013. I don’t even really know why I’m posting here now. I’ve never posted here before cause i felt like I couldn’t. Like I wasn’t supposed to that it was wrong to. I mean what right do I have to come to some community an post about how shitty I feel?
But here I am.
I’ve tried to kill myself several times before. And I kinda think I might try again soon. Im just. Fucking done with everything. Im just tried of being used and thrown […]
I found this site the other night and from reading many of the posts and responses I can honestly say that I’ve never before been so moved as I have by the overwhelming level of support and consideration that the members of this community repeatedly give to one another.
The personal stories on here are some of the most heartbreaking things that I have ever read and it amazes me how people can open their heart to others even in the midst of personal crisis and turmoil.
I spent time in hospital with some of the most incredible human beings that I’ve ever had the chance to […]
A long time ago I used to count down the days until stupid things like when school would start again, or when I would finally move out of the house. Now that I’m a sort of adult those things are just ridiculous. I count down to something much more important. To the day that I will attempt suicide again and I will succeed. It’s scary that I’m writing this down publicly because it’s been a secret I’ve kept to myself for so long now. I’m not looking for a way out, I’m not looking to change my mind, I’ve tried all that and it’s exhausting, […]
Hi there.
Today I am going to be talking about one of the most stressful things in my life, Expressions. I go to an arts school and to emphasize different types of arts they make it mandatory that we do something. My art is singing. There are several different categories of arts, including, but not limited to; music, visual, drama and creative writing.
Expressions is like a big talent show where the whole school, of almost 300 students, participates in a couple months of work. We showcase our talents and present them to the school. If we are good enough, we make it into Best of Expressions.
I […]
(When I kill myself, I’m going to tell my parents to say it was an accident. It’s better that way. They won’t be blamed or shamed by a cultural community that doesn’t understand or accept mental illness. They won’t be asked where they went wrong with me, what mistakes they made in raising me, or any other bullshit like that.)
I’m so sorry, Mom and Dad. Don’t tell anyone the truth. Say it was an accident. I don’t want you to be ostracized for my selfish decision. I know you despise lying, but please lie for all of our sakes. I don’t care what they would […]
I feel rejected by the outside world. I am not sure where I fit in anymore. I am very sad today and hurt because I am not the same person I was before a couple weeks ago after my attempt. I am grateful to be here but I’m very lonely and confused. If anyone can help I would appreciate knowing how you came to accept your life. I am part of a community that believes I relapsed but even admitting that I still feel depressed and crazy in my head. What can I do?
I’ve never really liked going away from home. I used to be okay with it though. These past couple of years everything has changed. It started off with being unable to leave for a week. Then two nights. Then one. Now, even a full day trip causes anxiety. I’ve determined it’s not that I’m attached to anyone at my home, it’s my home itself. I am, however, going to college in 2 years. I’m scared as fuck. I’m really smart, and I have the grades to go anywhere. I’m afraid that my emotional problems will hold me back, leaving me unable to go anywhere but […]
Still alive. I was planning on doing it almost a month ago. But then there was my sister’s wedding, and once that passed, I realized the holidays were fast approaching. Then there are my students, too. I teach at a local community college, and I rather like my students. And whether they like me or not, losing a teacher mid-semester is bound to be traumatic.
As much as I want to kill myself, I feel the need to wait for a better time for the people I’m leaving behind. Everytime I walk across the bridge near my apartment, I fantasize about jumping off. I don’t know […]
I survived a rather serious attempt on my own life almost exactly 15 years ago. To be honest, there have been a lot of times since that I have felt truly sorry I failed. Unfortunately, it seems like this is more and more the case.
At any rate, I thought I would try to participate in this community a bit. If you are reading this, you are already probably aware that “normal” people don’t understand what this is like. Indeed, they freak out. Maybe there will be […]
“The Suicide Project is a website devoted to allowing people to share their stories of desperation and depression… and ultimately of hope.”
I think in the light of recent events it is important not to forget what the purpose of this special website is. Regardless of how different the reasons for us to come here might be, what unites us is the suffering we experience and the desire to end it one way or another. No matter what part of the world you come from, what race or gender you are, what kind of sexuality you are living, what religion you might or might not belong […]
Yesterday I made a post with an honest question asking your opinion about a method I’ve concocted (or so I believe) and comparing it with another method more… classic, lets say. No answer in my mail. So I come back today to the site and find that my post has been deleted. No explanation, no comment. Just puff, vanished. Hey pals, thanks! What a wonderful community. You gave a me a new reason to put in the bag full of them I already have!
never in my life did I think there were as many people who feel the same way as me. I am 45, been battling since I was 10 or so. I have won and lost, two prior attempts that but by the grace of God i survived. However even though I firmly believe I am a walking miracle I still know that one day I will end it.
I don’t know exactly when, but I do know what will be my last straw, and that will be when I lose my best and only true friend Chip. my chocolate lab. he is 6 now, so […]
If you don’t like to hear ranting, this isn’t the post for you. Like the title suggests, I just needed an outlet where my father couldn’t read and use my words against me.
So, I learned of my acceptance as a university employee back in March of this year. I told my father that I would be getting an apartment and that I would do this and that. Well by April, I had moved in and gotten settled. I realized that the university hadn’t provided certain things like they had originally said they would. The only thing I really care about is the couch. I was […]