My cycle of addiction has cost me dearly. I almost can’t recover. Don’t want to deal anymore.
Tag:
Consequences
Has anyone overdosed on (insert poison picked here) and had bad short/long term consequences? Both in terms of health, emotions, relationships… Has looking death in the eye (e.g. waking up in a hospital bed) ever changed your mind and motivated you to live?
I am a 14 year old teenager, depressed and suicidal. I know this may sound stupid but does anyone know any pills that will make me pass out if I overdose? I am not exactly trying to kill myself, just a way of revealing my pain to my parent without having to actually talk to them, but let’s just say I wouldn’t care if I died overdosing.
I know I will receive lots of “don’t do this” “you don’t deserve life” and “you’re worth it” but I don’t believe any of that. I hate my life and myself so much, I don’t think anything or anyone […]
I’m writing this because i want to get my story out.
I don’t want anyone’s sympathy or help, I want my story out so if something ever happens to me, at least my story is public and people know why I did it.
As a first thing I’d like to make note of the fact that I do NOT want to kill myself! It just seems like the only way out of my misery. And it’s been that way for quite a while already.
At first i laughed at myself for having a quickly fading suicide moment. (wich smart and sane person wouldn’t?) but after a few years, […]
so i know i have fucked up yet agin i keep fucking up its my fucking gosh darn emotions i have such extreme anxitey i dont feel safe i dont feel okay i feel lways on edge i defintley feel tense i mean i dont just know anymore i feel like such a loser i wish things were the way they use to be i dont liek how the future is looking i dont like how things will end up and i fucking knew it i fucking knew that life was going to be horrible and it keeps getting shitty and i guess it could […]
In my life I’ve had several moments where I felt ‘stuck’ or ‘trapped.’ Â I wish that people truly understood the depth and complexity of those words to me. Â My life has had its challenges, but what upsets me the most is that I truly am privileged.
I have major depressive disorder, but I am privileged. Â I have a father that was a cheater in all three of his marriages and emotionally abusive towards me, but he is a Professor and exposed me to the world of learning and higher education. Â I also have a father that through his cheating contracted HIV, but thankfully my mother did […]
I am someone who has gotten help for my depression before. I went to a treatment center and it helped considerably. But…I still feel like something is…missing. I still feel pain for no reason, want to cry when there’s nothing to cry about, and just feel, well, lousy when left by myself with nothing but my thoughts. If someone said, ‘Here, I have a painless way to die. You’re gone instantly.’ then I would probably take it. Life…doesn’t have much meaning for me. It’s like, ‘okay, I exist’ but nothing more. I’d be content to just stay in my house all my life. I don’t […]
After a couple of suïcide attemps, i’m looking for the ultimate plan.
I almost died a year ago, but they found me. So now I wanna do it the good way.
The strongest thing i’m thinking about is drinking the antifreeze.
I’m not sure about what will happen, but about what i’m reading on the internet, death is one of the consequences.
I’m in hospital now, but the day i leave here (probably the end of September) i’m going to die.
Please help me to find the perfect way, because this life isn’t made for me.
(Sorry if my English is not that good, it’s not my […]
My guess is that everyone on here is afraid of something. Afraid of the future, afraid of consequences, etc. Right now I’m afraid of something everyone in life has to eventually go through – growing up.
Well I’m not really afraid, more like I’m TERRIFIED. My whole life there was someone to help me, even a little bit, and I always had another milestone I could postpone adulthood to. But now I’ve reached that point and now I’m on my own. I do and don’t want this moment to come. I do want to become independent and not under the stigma of my parents’ reputation […]
FUCK THEM!!!
FUCK THOSE THERAPISTS!!!!!
I’m really mad right now…The therapists say that they want to make me better and they will do everything to make me better. Yeah right. I’ve been in therapy for ten months now there and it only got worse and worse. I have going to the part-time therapy (5 days a week from 9 am till 3 pm) for 4 months now, and I have reached none of my goals. And those therapists…. they really sucked!! I really feel like they don’t take me serious. This was a conversation I had a few weeks ago when I told the therapists that […]
me and my brane and some bich sownd like the begining to some bad joke ohh right i am one…
written by why i dont no
so avrey thing i had wasunt good enuf for you
all the love i gave was wothe as much as shit to you
all the times i cryd for you all the times i cut
was wothe as much as shit to you
as all the blood i spat on the floor pulld out my broken teeth
at the botom of a pit of glutones meneingless sex
you keept me in your keep
my “frends” think its fun to get a shag evrey day
but if that knew the consequences thade say fuck this no way
cos i gave you all the love in the world and you tost it away
all the things i […]
I act on stage. I’m not that great, and the productions are small & forgettable, but to me each performance means the world. I guess it’s because it’s one of the rare times I get to step out of my miserable existence and pretend I’m someone else. And the audience, however small, validates this “character” I’m pretending to be. After the show I hurry home and resume being my real wretched self, playing to an audience of 0.
I’m sick of it. Sick of living for just those few moments on stage when I’m pretending to be something else, then having to spend days alone with […]
im done. thats it. ive honestly fucked up enough that i dont care anymore about consequences. im good enough with words im bound to get my point across. my parents arent being any nicer to me they havent really even changed. my sister is becoming controllable but now i thought if i cant speak at home fucking things around at school will help release anger….well now all the fighting and swearing with teachers countless numbers of detentions now im finally suspended and soon to have court involved ha fuck that! i have the best boyfriend ever and i might run out of town tonight with […]
Hello, just ranting on about my life.
I am committing suicide soon. I have wanted to commit suicide for a long time (10+ years), but I am at the point now where I know I can kill myself.
The reason I know is that I have been doing things that I would have never done before over the past two or so years. I have forced myself out of my comfort zone, had a ton of experiences I would have never had otherwise, and learnt a lot. One of the things I have learnt is the ability to just DO IT (pls don’t sue).
I said fuck it. […]
Feb. 8th I tried to kill myself. I have never attempted anything like this before, but God knows I have been thinking about it for way too long. I was down stairs doing some practice cuts on my wrist, just to see how hard I needed to press and figure the whole mess out. The first cut was quite demeaning. I think one drop fell out, so I tried again in a new spot, harder this time. This time I got a good amount to come out. As I was getting ready to go even deeper and harder I dropped the razor blade and it […]
I’m not a bad person but I am a fucking mess.
For years I have lived my life with no goal, no direction. I got through high school, finished college, got a job, an apartment but I never felt like I am doing anything worthwhile with my life. I survive. That’s all there is. All these years i have lived without consequences. I am a lose rocket that’s barely steered yet I still managed to not hit anything. Until recently. In another act of self destruction, I walked into a situation which I knew was gonna be trouble. The results did not surprise me. I ended […]
I am a 29 year old male. I have struggled with depression for as long as I can remember. I have attempted suicide several times, I chose to believe that perhaps there was a reason why I survived. As if there a purpose to my existence. However at this point I have abandoned that frail belief and have chosen to give up completely. I can not remember most of my past, the memories are there but they have become so faded and blurry I can no longer distinguish the realities of my past with the vibrant thoughts of my once over active imagination.
The first attempt […]
i have attempted suicide at least 5 times. I have thought about it more hours than I can count. Ive suffered rape, loss of loved ones, physical and emotional abuse, OCD, and an unstable childhood. In spite of all these painful reasons to die, I’m turning 25 and I am so grateful that all my attempts were thwarted.
I was always in so much pain I could not think about anyone else.
Two years ago my view of suicide was completely changed. My boyfriend of over 5 years killed himself in my bedroom while I was at work. Never in my life have I felt more pain. […]
About three years ago is when I first felt unhappy. I was in high school, had a girlfriend, was president of the film club, but I wasn’t happy. I just felt like there had to be more to life and that going away to college the next year would really open my eyes to the wonder and power off the “real world.” So I moved as far away from home as I could, to Colorado. At college I got into the drug scene really quick, I managed to stay away from most of the hard stuff but a lot of my new found and still […]
So does anyone feel like me and want to commit suicide in a lame way – not quickly, but just by not taking care of myself and not worrying about consequences?
I’m afraid to actually kill myself quickly and noticeably because I don’t want people to think poorly of me. I know, it’s stupid, I’d be dead.  I just have been through a lot and I don’t see life worth living.  So why not just have fun, not care about what situations I put myself in, and then whatever happens happens?
Or is that too slow a process? There’s a lot of pain while waiting. Â What else can I […]
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