Hey guys, it’s been a while. Things have been going a whole lot smoother, it’s been better since September, but I’ll make sure to catch everyone up. During the summer, I went over to my father’s house more often and I enjoyed the time I got to spend with him and my step-mom, I enjoyed feeling free and responible at the same time; it was so much like cutting. Then, a little bit afterwards, my mom got pregnate, it’s the first time this has happened in five years and I am just freakin’ excited and happy for her, but she’s taken it way too far […]
Tag:
Courage
Today is my best freinds birthday.
I couldn’t leave her alone on her birthday.
I have been thinking of suicide for So long, i was finally got the courage to do it.
But i thought, if i left my best friend, a day before her birthday.. she would kill herself to.
She is amazing.
I have just been going through such a hard time right now, and i honestly can’t live this lie anymore.
I’m so fucking scared to be happy. I’m scared of faking a smile. I’m scared to live. I’m scared to die. I’m scared to be alone.
I cut all the time. […]
I am 28. I have no future. I quit college 2 times because of depression and lack of money. I come from abusive family. My father had taken  it out on me during almost all childhood. I’ve been depressed since adolescence. My dreams have fallen apart once I dropped out of university. I wanted to commit suicide but didn’t have enough courage. That was my only chance to get out of poverty and misery. I failed. I have failed so many times in my life… I have probably developed another mental issue after dropping out – ptsd. Each day.  Thoughts about failing at school keeps […]
Not really sure how to do this. Thank you for the two comments I received. They do help. I just wish I could find the courage to make a change. I’m so afraid of being alone (dumb, I know)
Everyday I fight off the demons. Everyday I act like I’m okay. Everyday I creep a bit closer to insanity….
I can’t stop thinking about death. The thought of it scares me less and less as the days go by and that in itself terrifies me. I contemplate the slipping away into darkness, and I smile at the thought of never having to cry or feel again…
I have the means, but not the courage and that makes me want it even more. It’s like a forbidden fruit…
Since I can never manage to kill myself during a manic episode I figured setting a date would make things much easier.
Still didnt really decide between hanging or jumping in front of the train yet. I am forever in doubt about everything.
It didnt really make things easier though.
Since I woke up this morning I felt weird. I felt this feeling of determination and at the same time doubt.
My mood has jumped from wanting-to-slice-my-own-throat-bad to happy. It seemed to happen more often than usual. I was pretty set on hanging. Then somewhere during the day my anxiety kicked in and I felt too low to go […]
I’m a 16 year old boy who is thinking about Suicide all the time, doesn’t matter where i am or what i’m doing. I don’t have a standard story, mabye i can cry about having disvorced parents or being bullied in primary school but that aren’t really reasons i contemplate about suicide. I’ve never had therapy, i think none knows how i am… I’ve tried a “online” therapy “test” and as diagnosis came out i am severely depressed. I’ve propably been depressed since i was 14 but none saw it, neither did i.
When i read post on this site i always see the sentence: Life gets better, […]
I don’t WANT to kill myself-right now I am afraid to-but if I had the courage I would do it.
I was severely depressed before my mom died 6 weeks ago but I have been EXTREMELY depressed ever since then.
I do not want to talk with someone on the phone right now-just online-ideally IM chat with them-one on one.
Can ANYONE steer me in right direction?
Thank you.
Hi, i’m 15, I’m a girl, and I’ve been through hell. I’m a sophomore, and I know what its like to lose everyone you’ve ever had. My mom had me at 16, and starting at three years old, my mom was dating around a lot, got hip on drugs and alcohol. Both of my parents were VERY bad alcoholics. My mom was dating this guy that beat her, and made me watch, then my sister was born, I was three, taking care of a baby my mom couldn’t take care of.. We got evicted and lived in a car for a week when i was […]
new to here. i have actually tried and failled twice to committ suicide. i was unconcious on my frontroom flat the last time. from a couple of litres of vodka and loads of pills. i had to have my stomache pumped out and kept in hospital for a couple of days. i didnt ask to be saved. but some one likes me. i was driven to d hospital and didnt kno where i was. i just am at a seriously low eb in life and have nothing to look forward to. i do not fit in with every day people as such. im just a […]
So I guess life is about finding a partner to share your life with, being the partner for somebody and building a life on a relationship, maybe having a family. Sounds nice. Sounds like something I’d like to achieve.
So my life should be about perfect. I just got two A:s so I’m a good student, I live together with my bf and everything seems good.
Let me just say.
Fuck this shit.
Two of his friends came over today. The other one offered me some candy and I said “well… thanks.” What did my bf say? “You don’t have to be such a moodkiller.” Yeah. A moodkiller. And […]
continuation of things i dislike sorry im going crazy i need to get this out
by idunno
written by idunno
im panicking just let me get this out
(i dont mean for anyone to take these things too personally, i just need to share..)
i might come across really negative, dont let it effect you… im really a good person)
please feel free to give me some suggestions to add to the list, i’d really appreciate any feedback
i hate the doctors office
i hate cards (birthday, greetings….theyre so corny
the dentist
the phrase “how are you” and the conforming answer”well, thanks, yourself?”
hate how there’s little options as to what you get in life.
perfume
i hate how i have to lie to myself by thinking positively
i hate how i wanna runaway but i […]
I do not fit to this world. This is my conclusion after over 25 years. Everyone sees me laughing, doing stupid things to be the funny guy in the band, always a joke to say. But nothing of this is real, i don’t care of people, of things, of life.
All my life I thought making other people laugh will make me happy but it’s not even close. I am popular, yes, got friends calling me every days to discuss of their super lifes, and I keep saying “nothing new on my side, it’s all cool, the bloody routine”. I am tired of this, tired […]
Ok–I’ve been on this earth for 45 years. Im in decent shape & until I lost my job made a decent living. For the past 30 years I have been building up my courage to commit suicide. At various points in my life I have tried suicide. Cutting, sleeping pills and have thought of running my car into a truck (but why ruin some strangers life) so I have not done that. Many people have told me that life gets better. By living I have proven that hypothisis wrong. My point of this post is to state that were I sucessful in my first attemp when I was […]
Well, today school got too much for me and I made myself sick so I got to go home. When I was sitting with my mum, we got onto the topic of suicide somehow, (she doesn’t know I’m suicidal) and she said that people who commit suicide are selfish. Do you know how much that stabbed me? I can only think of what she would think if I ever plucked up the courage to do it.
But in my view, not that it matters, people who commit suicide aren’t selfish at all. They’re miserable, and they’re trapped. They need an out and they find one. If […]
Hey. I’m Nikki! So um I’m not really sure what you’re supposed to do on here so well I’ll just tell you whats going on. My ex-boyfriend is talking smack about me. Saying that I’m easy. That I’m a dirty whore. I’ve been so stressed out about it. On the other hand My father. Yelled at me today… I know what you’re thinking. All he did was yell at you. Well here think about this. He’s been yelling at me, swearing at me, treating me like poop since 3 grade. I’m in 8th grade now. Nothings changed. Tonight at 9pm I broke down crying. 10pm […]
i have been feeling very tierd for the past few days…..memories are haunting me…..they are killing me slowly….and making me feel like i am an ignored piece of dried shit sitting at the side of the street……..i feel so tired to even cry…..im remembering everyone who let me down  and gave up on me……i dont know what i have done to deserve this….i am 19 my birthday is next month and ill be 20….im not yet in college i feel like a failure….no body listens…..nobody cares and no body asks…..dad said im cheap….and he also said he doesnt have money for me…..but he does for […]
I’m geting really tired this ridiculous life. All I do everyday is turning my brain to off so I can run away from my pain. That’s the only thing that worked so far too. I can’t connect with anyone, can’t relate to anything and can’t find any worth in me. I’m tired of pretending I still want to do studies, tired of pretending everything is gonna get better. I’m sick of hearing the same lies everyday, sick of lying all the time. I can’t bare living among people who’d rather value greed, malice, and putting their kind down all the time. I’ve had enough of […]
I just made this so I really don’t have anyone to get
Things off my  chest. Im just confused . I’m  13. I guess you could say I have a pretty good life or as people could see it . Nice house , family, boyfriend , all the friends . But nothing is never good enough. Me and my boyfriend are going through a rough stage and I’m really afraid of loosing him. I have to go and act like everything is find because I’m too embarrassed to tell my parents what’s going on. So I just have to suffer . I have big trust issues […]
People think I’m happy, but I’m not. I never tell anyone about my feelings. So i just wanted to share my story here, and say what I don’t have courage to say to people around me.
Apparently, I have a really good life. I have a loving family and lots of friends who care about me. I’m shy but I always try to be nice and people tend to like me. I’m a university student and get good marks, I have a part-time job and I still have some time for my hobbies. The problem is, I’m not happy with that. I don’t know why I’m […]