I can still remember that first time in my life when I thought to my self “is there actually a point of living?” at that point, I was in a right state. Didn’t have the best day of school, had so much going on in my life and everything was pilling up. I just got bored and tired of having to pick myself up from the ground and get back on my own two feet. I just didn’t see the point in it at all.
I remember that I kept thinking to myself ” There’s going to be no hope in the end, might as well […]
so i’ve heard that there are good people in the world. and i have this stepfather who is generally an angel. but he’s, i would suppose, human. human in that-
somewhere, deep down, when nobody’s looking, people are petty, blind, stupid, immature, ingenuine, farcical, prejudiced, lying, selfish, ungrateful, sex-driven, etc. in some way
and i just can’t stand being surrounded by all of it. for some reason i suspect everybody of having these ugly sides. i’m all of the above too. and for some reason i just can’t stand that this is the world we live in. i usually ignore it but today it just drove me […]
I really do want to commit suiscide.Get out fo this harsh world :/ I just dont have the courage to commit suiscide at all. I think if i actually had courage i would but i have none at all 🙁
i understand how you feel but as young as you are you need to talk to someone, I have felt the same way for as long as i can remember, now 50 im still suffering in silence everyone thinks im strong and inside im screaming for help, i dont have the courage to ask for help and ive also passed this on to my children, my daughter has recently told me that its my fault because she has severe depression as i gave her to my mum when she was 2, i also had another 2 children to the same father whom abused me physically, […]
I’m just going to talk in a general rant manner, so sorry to anyone reading this if I switch back and forth randomly.
I want to kill myself, but I am too weak to do it. Too weak, too much of a coward. I want to die and become non existent. Die and finally be free from this shit fucking life, free from my depression, free from my pain. I can’t bring myself to do it though. I can’t even bring myself to really hurt myself. I don’t like being hurt and obviously I’m subconsciously terrified of death or I would have killed myself by […]
Feel horrible today. I walked out on my job, because I couldn’t stand the bullying anymore, and I know I shouldn’t have to. Doesn’t change the fact that my friend had to pay my rent this month, and I need a job to pay bills. Makes me feel guilty as hell… I’ve never taken money from anyone. Now I’m just sick. I have no idea how I will face my boss, or how I will get the motivation and the courage to go out and look for another job.. this one was bad enough. Can’t even keep a shit job. What’s the point, I think… […]
hello, Â I’ve been sad for quite some time, I’ve attempted to commit so many times, so many different ways. Here’s alittle bit of my background, I was inlove, I had friends, I had a good job. Everything is gone, I’m not happy anymore, life has manage to take everything away from me. Did I cause this? was it my fault that everyone is gone? For the past week I have been researching on different ways to commit, I came across this website and here I am, making my first post.
I think I felt inlove with my eyes close. I knew it was true love, I […]
Had a rough few days. I’m so drained, and still have things to take care of. Crying every now and then. Music by my side, stuffed animal by my side. I do not hunger and I do not thirst. I just sit here like a brick as I keep moving forward. I read a an old posted link and It made me realize I am not as good as I thought. While other want to fight but don’t know how I’d just like to get away from everything. Away far away. I don’t know where that is. But it’s what I want. And just like […]
So to to make it as short as i can..im a 15 year old girl living in a tiny town out in the middle of no where, i have a few friends that are close..but i just finished my freshmen year, and im back almost all my credits because i missed to much school, when i used to get straight A’s the middle school.. because i couldnt even handle getting out of bed everyday, and facing all those happy people, with there boyfriends and girl friends, and there cute clothes, which i cant get only because my size..and all my friends seem to have boyfriends […]
When I see movies or commercials or websites that ‘help’ people with depression, I cry. Because I believe that only some people can get out of this horrible fucking mess and be happy. I call them ‘The Lucky Ones’. I don’t dare believe that everyone can get out. It’s sad, but it’s true. I mean, I’m never going to get rid of my depression. And I sure don’t want to take pills to try to make it go away. The pills will just make me a fucking empty doll. I rather the pain than nothing at all. I’m going to die this way. Maybe whoever’s […]
Warning: rant from top of my head. Might randomly skip to from topic to topic.
When I was in eight grade, I thought I knew what long lasting pain and depression were. I had grown up in a “broken” home, I was bullied, I had been cheated on and my brother nearly died from a suicide attempt. I can remember sitting next to his bed and even after I found out he was going to survive, I kept thinking things couldn’t get worse than that. Since then (3 or so years ago), I have been in a abusive relationship, cheated on again lost a friend who […]
I pop on most days to work on a project, or to write a reply. Some days I’ll just read quietly. I speak up when I have something to share but I realize my voice just like before doesn’t mean much.
When I was younger I was a listener and I was forced to be a talker. To be a talker to make myself clear and to stop assumptions about me.
A phrase rings through my head “You can’t be a hero” at 12 years old my father did everything to crush my hopes. I did little things, I donated a little money, I held open […]
They say that we’re a long time dead, but it seems to me that we’re alive for a lot longer. And yet this narrow bridge between two unfathomable eternities is the only metric of our lives. Tiresome to love, or be loved or even just to keep going on in the face of the over whelming pointlessness of it all. I can’t have what I want, but I can chose to do something about it if I have the courage.
Edit:
Thinking about courage… I can clearly see three kinds. Intellectual, physical and emotional. I sometimes want to die because I have no more emotional […]
I really don’t understand myself. I just got back from my Prom, and I have to say it wasn’t as bad as I expected, but that’s because I had no expectations at all! Anyway, for some of it, I was really really happy and I danced and laughed and had a lovely time. However, for other parts, I just sat staring into nothing and feeling numb and wanting to die. This also happened whilst I was on the dancefloor, and I just stayed there awkwardly dancing and wondering how easy it would be to just do it at that exact moment, like jump from the […]
I’ve run out of my complaints. Its just when theres no where else to turn I think of my friends on here. At least I know I’m not alone. I hate others are going through the same, but it also gives me ease of mind.. it makes me feel more human.
This is normally the part where I wish you all well, and encourage you all to keep living… However in all reality I envy those who had the courage to end it.. because I wish I had that strength so bad. Especially now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMGh3Ts5-WQ
Well, the title explains it all. All is left is to fix a date to suicide. I can’t seem to find the courage because I have to leave my family behind. All I’m worried about is what if I survived? What if I’m there lying on the bed and looking at my parents looking at me with full of disappointment. I gotta make it successful. I can’t fail this time. This has to be done. I can’t wait to end the misery, but I just don’t know when. Now it does, because I’m gonna do it all alone, and nobody knows about it. I […]
Lifes ok. I got a job, I can drive, ive got family(somewhat) but yet at the end of the day I feel like a bag of SHIT! Every night O try to fight the urge to cut. Or burn or bruise or anything. But sometimes I slip. I dont want to live. I wish I could go back in time, and tell my mom not to fuck my dad, so I could have never been born. I wish there was an easy way out but honestly I don’t have the courage to kill myself. I want a painless way.. Then again life is painful, so […]
I read all of your stories here, and I feel sad, angry at the world, frustrated and at times soothed. I think of my own story and feel nothing.
I don’t have a story, just the pain that comes with it. I grew up in a normal family, had normal friends, got normal grades and, for the most part, was normal. But as far back as I can remember I’ve wanted to die. The thought consumes me.
My first close call happened when I was 15 and in the school play. I screwed up horribly, and after the show I went to an old bridge and sat […]
I’m new to this, I’ll admit. I just happened to stumble upon this and started reading stories and it gave me this breif moment of feeling secure in telling my story. I’ll be honest in that my story isn’t that bad and is really quite dumb, but now that I’ve found this breif confidence, I have to let it out and hope that maybe someone will hear me and understand my pain. I’ve contemplated suicide, I even planned out how my funeral would go, but I’m afraid to upset my friends, afraid that they’ll blame themselves, but they don’t know any of this. I’ve never […]
i am 22. i am a new mother. i live to try and make the love of my life happy.
not too long ago, i chose to have a child with this man not only because i love him, but i knew he could be the wonderful husband, father and companion i have always dreamed of. we had a son almost a year ago, and they are my entire world.
i have always understood that we were completely different people but knew we could make a great life for our son and ourselves. after the baby arrived, the ex girlfriend came back into the picture. little did […]
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