I went to church and it was fun… But hard  for me… I guess it was okay and idk if i should go again.. I want to but I don’t and I’m scared that people will find out about all the crap that happened recently and I feel really bad but at the same time, I don’t care about them but they really are nice people and all so I’d feel really terrible when\if they decided to lecture me… HELP!! SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO!?! I wish the pain  of  the past would go away already!!
Tag:
Crap
I’ve never really shared before, or at least not like this, but I think it maybe time. I cannot look back on my life and think of a time when I was truly happy. I remember as a child wishing God would “take me home with him” I didn’t know why, but I felt that way all the time. I feel like the worst person on the planet, I should be grateful for what I do have. I know there are plenty of people worse off than I am, but for some reason I cannot shake the feeling I’ve had for all of my life. […]
Hello. I’m 15 going on 16 and I have been cutting for about a year. All my friends know and they didnt help besides making me promise to stop, but they didnt know that all their drama and treating me like crap was the reason. I broke every promise and i stopped over the summer and then started right back up when school started again. I have been able to hide it from my family, but my boyfriend does it too and every one of my friends did it in the past. I dont know how to stay away from all the drama at school […]
I guess what makes for the best dark comedies is the twist that no one sees coming, right?
So, here I am about to take the pills I have been able to amass when I receive some good news. An advocate is going to assist me in the legal action that I am trying to bring against my brother for sexually abusing me before I was 7! This makes me happy. Someone is actually willing to give me a small hand with this shit. Be a buffer with the police, so that I don’t have to keep reliving it over and over again. Although this is […]
All my life I’ve been taught that no one cares.
No one wants to hear how bad you got it.
Everybody has their own problems to worry about.
I’ve learned to not trust anyone
I’ve been told that no one is genuinely who they say they are.
Well although all of that is true one way or another. I don’t care … I don’t want to be “everyone”.
I want to be different. I know I’ve gone through some hard crap. But who hasn’t …
I want judge anyone. If you need someone to talk to, i’m here. I never had anyone to talk to, and I don’t think it was fair.
So i’m trying to help, […]
So..I hate my life to say the least, i’m a 14 year old girl and I know i’m too young to be feeling like this but its the truth. I really just don’t know if I can do this anymore. It feels weird the fact that I have to turn to a website but I just need to let it all out to someone who won’t tell me to ‘ get over it ‘ or that i’m just being ‘ stupid ‘. I used to be so happy, like always laughing, smiling and didn’t have a care in the world. It all started to change. […]
I found myself writing earlier today in a notebook in the freezing cold as I waited for the bus to that would take me to work… The only reason I decided to write was so I could remember everything that was passing through my mind at the time. Reading back over it now, I’m steadily losing the will to fight with myself anymore again. I’m tired… I want to sleep and just not wake up… I know I don’t deserve that; it’s too easy, too peaceful…
I have a family I support solely, children I want to raise and a decent job by most standards, and […]
Being happy.. Is possible. No matter how far away from ending your life you are. Don’t believe me? Days ago I was in my room.. No one was home.. And it was raining. I sat on my bed, with my brain spinning with ideas of suicide. One came up that I could do.. Painless.. Simple.. Perfect. I got my supplies. As I sat on my bed minutes away from death so many thoughts were running through my head. My sister.. Prom.. College.. Teaching.. Having a wedding.. Children.. Friends.. Graduating.. And growing old. So many things I wanted to achieve before I left this life behind. […]
Me?
I am a 14 year old girl in the verge of giving up her whole life away. I don’t seem to sound like Amanda Todd or any other teenage obsessed love seeking little *****. But there’s nothing left in my life I can hold on to. Everything around me feels so bland. I don’t tend to have reasons for what I do. There is not purpose left for me. I am tired, and lonely.
I am a child abuse case, ever since I was 9 year old my parents started abusing me. Beating me up to shreds, channel their frustration in me. I lost my […]
So, next year, i’m going to fucking kill myself. Why? i have no fucking idea. I’m SICK of my crap. I’m sick of this depression and social anxiety. I’m sick of myself. I’m sick of being invisible and lonely. I’m sick of thinking this way. I’m sorry to everyone who actual gave a fuck about me, when i’m gone things’ll be better for you. I guess, i’m making a big mistake and i’m sinning by doing this. And from seeing people, like in Africa, who are going through war, starvation and for the woman, who go through sooo much and get raped. Grr, it makes […]
i have been depressed which is a mild word  in comparison to what i feel for so long i dont remember ever being happy EVER,i hate this life i hate everything about it, i hate my ex i  would love to castrate him and  engulf him on fire then shoot myself, but naw i would rather just end my own pain let him live with his and everything he did to cause all my newest pain, i dont see any reason to exist other than to be miserable and makes those around me miserable and uncomfortable to be around me, people tend to […]
I get a bunch of crap from a lot of people. I have been hurt all my life… I never got used to it. My dad calls me crap, tells me I’m not worth a place on Earth. My mom shoves God down my throat 24/7. My brother makes jokes about suicide a lot. I have to lie to my family, act like everything is fine. I told my grandma about my friends cutting to see what she thinks about cutting before I told her that I do it. She responded ” Oh My God, why would anyone cut, Â Its so disgusting.” I ended up […]
I am making a list of things that I could do to help me make it to Tuesday…
aside from stuffing my face with crap (which does not help in any way) what can I realistically do / accomplish / come up with / fabricate / engineer / occupy my time with / invent / rearrange / be proactive about / just to get on with it?
* take a shower
* eat a healthy breakfast
* work on details of a resume to help myself on Tuesday so the appointment I am putting such stock and hope in is able to help me go forwards…..
If you think your life sucks because you don’t have a boyfriend, or you’re fighting with your current boyfriend, or your boyfriend left you… get a real problem.
I used to cry over that crap, and then I realized that relationships are S-I-M-P-L-E.
If you want a guy go get one. If you can’t find one, you’re not looking in the right places. If you’re unhappy with a guy leave him. If a guy leaves you, it wasn’t meant to be.
A little insensitive? So is telling someone who can’t have children that their life is gravy and they should just go to bed. So much for this […]
Im so pissed today.I had a great morning went out for my birthday with my therapist even though they gave me a gift card to buy clothes knowing if they gave me it for anything else i wouldve bought pills and probably taken them.What people dont get is im already going to do that and i can find my own way to get what i need cause im resourceful.But it gets worse
I go on a site to get free stuff and give away stuff and they took the item i was giving away down.Even though people were giving away the same item.Anyway not […]
Hi, I’m Tasha Jenay Thomas. And I’m a freshman in high school. School this year is a big change for me. I have friends… Just not in my class. There’s this girl who torture’s me with her mean looks and her mean doing’s. She talks crap behind my back like an immature person would do. She plays varsity on the volleyball team and she has a lot of friends. She thinks everyone likes her which everyone hates her. She always has to get the other girls to gang up on me and try to put me down. There’s this other girl who just moved here […]
I hate how people have been acting about Amanda Todd. They act like suicide is something completely new to the world. It doesn’t matter how much they bullied the deceased, once a suicide hits the news, they act like they would have given a fuck if she had told them. On Facebook, people are making pages called RIP Amanda Todd, and posting about how horrible it is, and how they bet the bullies feel like crap now. On average, someone kills themselves every 15 minutes. What about all those people?
I love my friends with all my heart, but it really seems like they just don’t care about me. Saying they do is one thing, but doing is another. Whenever they need help, I’m there. Whenever they need anything, I’m there. It could be just a small problem and I’ll listen to them no matter what. I have picked them up in the middle of nights many times. I do things without expecting a thank you in return. But whenever I’m feel sad or hurt they just give some one-liner bullshit like “Oh, I’m sorry.” Then they move on with their day. I’ll be honest […]
The last five years of my life, atleast since i can remember back till i was about ten, my bother has been abusive to me in forms that over brother/sister fighting…. I have lived with my mother and him my whole life. My mother who is 52 years old has none of him doing this and has not done anything about it. She is very sick and is disabled so she doesn’t make much money. My brother used most of her money on weed and stupid shit. Im still in high school. He’s 19 living with us and has not tried to even look for […]
After the little incident, I’ve kind of calmed down. It took me a panic attack and about an hour of biting viciously to calm down. Which sucks. I broke my personal goal of no more biting. :/
I think I’m letting this situation get out of hand. I tore myself up about it and now I just need to let it go. For crap’s sake, it’s college. I don’t understand why I beat myself up over a fucking one night stand. So for a few days, I’ve been recovering from my stupidity and getting back on track with classes. It was going pretty well. Then last […]