I have 5 sisters. My imperfections used to be guarded by my older sister, she’s 18. She rebelled against my family, did very unfortunate things, and next to her I was perfect. Then she was kicked out of the house. With her gone, all my imperfections came to light. I now sit between two perfect sisters. One is 23, the other 15. I am 17 and next to them I feel worthless. They are always better than me. They love better than me, they are more fun than me, and they have a better personality than me. At least that’s what my parents make clear. […]
Tag:
Cutting
I’m probably being stupid, I keep thinking that the only reason that I should continue living is so that my family don’t end up hurt but I’m starting to question my theory. I found my release a week or so ago, cutting, it helped me a bit. Whenever I got shouted at for poor conduct at school or something, I’d concentrate on the pain and everything else would just go silent no matter HOW hard they scream at me, I just wouldn’t hear it. It’s become a routine, planning out and researching how to end my pathetic existence that can’t even affect society, if I […]
I just want to know when I will be happy, why can’t it be now, why can’t I just know, nothing is ever certain. I hate this.I hate my cuts. I hate the scars, I hate my head, fuck I hate, so much. I feel sick.
I don’t want to die, at least I don’t think I do. I just want to make that clear.
2 years ago I was cutting. Often. Almost everyday. I was angry and sad and angry at being sad. I didn’t know how to respond to these feelings, I pushed my mum away and I cut. Not very deep, but frequently, and over and over again in the same place Each fresh cut over a healing one The sight of that blood it helped.
Then i moved in with my dad and he caught me. I got better. I stopped. Every now and them I admired those fading […]
I’m new to this, I’ll admit. I just happened to stumble upon this and started reading stories and it gave me this breif moment of feeling secure in telling my story. I’ll be honest in that my story isn’t that bad and is really quite dumb, but now that I’ve found this breif confidence, I have to let it out and hope that maybe someone will hear me and understand my pain. I’ve contemplated suicide, I even planned out how my funeral would go, but I’m afraid to upset my friends, afraid that they’ll blame themselves, but they don’t know any of this. I’ve never […]
Yup, some things have happened since i last came here. i think i’m in love, but i hate getting hurt so much. My best friend came into town but right now she’s not here. Thats pretty much all that has happened that is good. I still am depressed and suicidal but again, i can’t leave my best friend alone in this cruel world. Wish i could go right now. Still am addicted to cutting. I’ve burned myself but its not the same without any blood. I’ve seriously been thinking about drugs. I need something that will help relax me and maybe i’d finally get some […]
So, I just stumbled apon this sight and I am finding everyone’s posts extremely interesting and relatable. To tell you about myself I’m a 16 girl and I don’t know I suspose I am depressed even though I tell myself everyday I’m not. I would very much like for my life to be over. I belive I have a mild addiction with self-harm. I have often felt very isolated, but I managed to find a friend I could talk to I could trust. He actually has very similar problems to me and it was really nice to share with someone who feels just the same […]
Why is it that when anything bad happens to me the first thought that comes to my head is killing myself. No matter what I do I feel useless and in the way. Or that I’m putting some weight on someone to help me. I just want to close the door to that past, but everytime I try to do that I end up cutting off from everyone in my life. I don’t know if I do it so if I break down they don’t see what I’m going through and try to help me. Which in turn would cause me to open that door […]
Hi.
Im Taegan.
Im a selfharmer. I really need help.
I dont know why god hasnt taken me yet, I have survided 2 diabetic coma’s , 3 three overdose’s and about 6 or 7 hospital visits from cutting my wrist in just about that right spot.
I have been called just about ever name in the book. I think I speak for everyone when I say this bullying needs to stop. I dont know why I am so suicidal. I shouldnt let this get to me. We shouldnt let this get to us. Whether youre gay,Bisexual,Lesbian .. or whatever you are. We are ALL human.<3 […]
Hi My name is Nikki… I am 15 years old and I have been cutting for a very long time.. I know what it is like to hurt and feel nothing but pain and misery. I have lost so many people to death and You know it is not fun.. I am not that skinny pretty girl at all. I lost a guy I was in love with to a person who felt the need to shoot and kill him. I felt the pain of loosing my best friend to a person who hit him with a car. I felt the pain to my grandmother […]
out of all fucking people, why did i have to fall inlove with my best friend?! we used to have a “thing” she used to like me. but she said she doesnt wanna lose our friendship because im her best friend. everyone i know can just tell im in love with her. and i hate admitting. i told her once when i went out of the city for a week and i told her i said that cos i missed her so much. i always look her in the eyes and say im not in love with her, but in realaty i think she is […]
Is what I tell my mom. ‘no, it’s okay, I’m just tired’ for my dad. ‘Could you leave, please? I’m thinking’ is snapped at my little sister. And then I’m alone.
School’s out. I’m a kid. I should be ecstatic, right? But I’m not. Lately, I’ve just been feeling so alone, so hopeless. I have small projects I’ve been working in in my spare time, but I’m starting to think ‘why bother, this is stupid’ and abandon them. Occasionally I’ll get my hopes up for something, but somehow when it comes I always seem to screw it up. Then it’s over, and I’m back in […]
Wrong!
They all think im ok now, im getting better.. Im getting through this with positivity.. Thinking happy thoughts. Yup, thats me.. Changing back into the old Zoe.. Newsflash.. Its a lie, and your all believing it, in fact im the exact opposite of what I tell you.. Im actually getting worse! Im back to cutting every night again.. And the thoughts of me ending my life dont gO away.. I think of my funeral, who would go and who wouldnt.. The song that y family would choose.. How many would be surprised, and how many would feel sorry for anything they said or thought […]
Im sadly only 13. Around the begining of 2011 i was i wanted to die. Then my older cousin had way more balls to do it than me and he killed hemself. I saw how devastated my whole family was and i really didnt want to put them thru that same pain again. 1 mnth later my pastor dies. 37 days later my grt grt grandmother dies. 2 mnths later my grt gma dies. My grades dove off a cliff. I started cutting and choking myself.2012 im back to cutting with 2 new blades. My depressing ways get the best of me. People start encourging […]
I’m sooo tired of it all!! Don’t know what to do anymore! Can’t even stand to look in the mirror, I don’t know how much more I can take. Â I cry all the time now, can’t even get through one day without crying. My husband always asks if i’m okay, but the truth is, he really doesn’t wan’t know the answer to that question. I don’t know why he even bothers asking. I wanna believe he loves me, but I don’t know how. I feel as though everyone would be happier and better off if I were gone. Â I really believe they would all jump […]
Hi everyone.. I’m new here and i really need to get some stuff off of my chest. Apparently, i’ve been dealing with nothing but family problems. Mostly it’s between me and my mom and I’m tired of it. All the time she yells at me. Mainly, she just verbally abuses me; always she’ll throw my stuff on my bedroom floor and tells me to pick up. Like really? She’s the one who dropped it so why should i? And when i don’t do something right she’ll yell and call me stupid names: idiot, *****, ************, useless child, and so on. My dad thinks that it’s […]
I started cutting in 5th grade. I always thought of trying to commet suicide but I was always to scared to try because i thought how will my parents feel ? When i got in the 6th grade things got worse I moved to a new town and my parents got divored and I didnt know anyone in this town, but i knew one person and they knew me to but not in a good way. It all started on facebook I met him and he looked cute but I never met him in person so I thought I would lie to my friends and […]
I know how it feels to be sad. Depressed. Like no one cares. Like you don’t want to live anymore. I feel that right now. I would think a lot on how would I kill myself. Finally I made up my mind.. I wasn’t going to hang myself, or cut my throat or wrist. I figured the best way was to over dose. What could happen. I wouldn’t feel the pain. I would just take the pills and go to sleep. No big deal. I would say no one would care. I am just some ugly stupid girl who is stupid and worthless. I am sitting […]
i have been cutting myself for the past 6 yrs, as well as making myself vomit. i have been doing this since i was 9 yrs old. im adopted, and i hate the family that i am in now. my parents never let me do what i want and my dad offten touches me in ways that i do not like. i have been phsically bullied and only recently moved on, people at school make fun of me and call me an emo and anorexic. i feel like everyhting is pointless and theirs no reason to keep going. the only things im good at […]
Please read.
If you ever decide to cut just remember.. Once you cut you get addicted. Your life will revolve around cutting.. In your life it will be all about cutting.. Will I cut today.? Will anyone become suspicious about the long sleeves today.? You may think you can keep it undercontrol but your wrong. It will become all you can think about. You will crave it during the day.. You will loose you ability to open up to people. You will think to yourself.. “I need to hide my cuts.. I need to hide my scars.. I need to cut again and hide them all […]