I have been on medication (viibryd) for 6 weeks. doc says it will help. He also gave me clonopin for anxiety at work. I am 42 divorced, no kids, just a great dog who was thrown from a car window and i rescued him. I will not committ suicide and leave my dog. no one would care if i die, i come from a “traditional italian family” your not supposed to have depression, you are supposed to “snap out of it and smile” well i cant. and lord knows i’ve tried and tried and tried. I feel now that since i’ve been with this job […]
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Dad
Hi everyone.
My name is Teresa, and I am a Depressed teen….
Oh GAWD.. did i really just say that. . . . ok let me start over… let me be real with you guys… and girls.
….
Hi, I’m Teresa. I am 17 years old. My birthday is April 4th. And I can promise you i won’t live past the age of 18.
I bet you all are curious why. I bet you all already know the reason. so does it really have to be said out loud? I think not.
lets continue.
My life sucks. I hate starting out so cliche. but this is one way to start that you […]
and heres my reson to day at school the last lesion was dramer after the school day had finisht me and my g.c.s.e. grop stade behind to perfet are pees but on the fienel seen i frees in the midel of a line its like iv lost the power of spech for 10 mind numing secionds i stand ther trying to speek then i start agen like iv held my breth and im exhaeling rely fast then all the guys who are wondring wtf is going on start having a go at me i try to defend my self but im speeking jibrish that made them […]
YAY!! Again I was fooled by the empty promise which is…. actually scrap that, I won’t be dramatic about this, I will be plain and simple. And tell things just the way they happened. Just after that vicous attack on my mom, FINALLY! SAFETY! I thought, we were moving into the our new house on friday, without dad! WOOO! well that was until the other family started to get involved, moms parents didn’t give to hoots about what the hell she did, never did never will, UNTIL! she says shes moving to get SAFETY! SAFETY are you following? Then and only then do they decide […]
Hey, my name is Jack.
today has been a pretty shit day, just like every other day I guess. In year 7 is when it all started, my dad stopped being my dad.
Dad was working in the Air Force and previously worked in the navy for years, so he is a respectable man. Although while i was in year 7, he got discharged from the air force for injuring his knee and neck. Now I’m 18, I finished school last year, I hated school. I hated the teacher, I hated the education, i hated the school in general. Everyone is so stupid, i honestly felt like one of the smartest people in the […]
yeah, so this is the first time im posting something on this site, 3 weeks ago, my friend Steve suicided in the cafeteria, everyone saw it, blood on the wall behind him, gun on the ground, I stayed in the cafeteria for 3 hours, then a teacher told me to go and relax. Im moving in 3 days, my parents are not together anymore, it feels really bad, plus my dad told me it was my fault, and my mom told me I was ”retarded”.. She told this to me because when I told her that I need help, the first thing she told to […]
When I was born my mother abandoned my father & I. She put me up for adoption because she claimed that she cheated on my father & that I wasn’t his. So she gave me to this family & my dad got blood tests & proved that I was his & he took me back. So 5 years later my mother came back into my life & all I said was “You won’t play with me, you’re just like all of daddies other girlfriends” & she walked out of course I was too young to realize it but I still carry guilt over my shoulders […]
so i took them, the pills. I just hope this time it works, this time nothing goes wrong. ive had too much. im not strong, im drained of the energy to deal with everything. i hope everyone’s life goes well. i dont want help anymore, i just want it to end. noone can know, it wont make anyone feel better. not many cared for me, but whoever did i hope everything gets better for them, hope they find someone to replace me soon. i pray my mom will be fine, and my little brother too, he kept me alive. i hope my dad will be […]
i wish i could be one of these pretty girls that everyone loves. maybe my dad would be proud, maybe my mother would want me. instead i resort to fucking and sugar daddies. i hate myself. so much. i love feeling numb, its better than this pain. cant just one person love me or even like alot. would be nice.
After my cousin killed himself, my dad told me if i ever feel that way and that suicide is just selfish, what he doesn’t seem to comprehend is that he’s the one pushing me towards the end.
I got back my results today …almost cried in class because I knew they would kill me …go home my dad just keeps screaming at my ….your a fucking idiot you will never amount to anything …..your disgrace, all i say is hes right because he is .Go to school crying … so no one talks to me all day..Go home this time my moms saying i am selfish ugly ***** for causing all this trouble ….im just too exhusted with the fighting to fight back .. im just done with everything .I use to not understnd why they hted me .. but i do […]
~Broken~
When will you learn?
That I am not always going to be there
For you to vent you’re anger on,
That I am not a toy to you,
And you will push me to the brink
I will hurt, over and over,
Cutting deeper and deeper
Until everything in me is ruined,
Until I have hurt so much it isn’t possible to hurt any more.
When will you try?
To help me
To stop hurting me
To make me feel like I was supposed to be born
To help me not be afraid
Of you,
Of trusting you,
Of loving you,
’cause I can’t survive the destroying of my heart
I won’t always be able to pick up the pieces,
To mold them […]
I know I already did, but this time, I’ll do it in songs! How fun! Hahaha. Anyways, we’ll start from when my grandpa died, and my dad almost died: Hello by Evanescence. I can’t explain how it relates, but that’s what I always listen to. Next up, when my dog died. My Last Breath by Evanescence. Again, the events of her death really go along with the song. After she died, I found a song that I would sing when I missed her. It’s: Goodbye My Friend by Linda Ronstadt. Then, my grandma went insane and hates me. For this, I kinda think of Imaginary […]
Control. That seems to be the only thing I’ve ever wanted, the one thing I’ve never gotten. To feel like I actually have a say-so in what happens next or where I go… to feel like I can contribute something to my life because after all, it is MY life. I have a dad who always made the rules. Even though they were always stupid and illogical and only benefited him, he ALWAYS got the final say so. And it went from being just small things to bigger things. Where I go to college (a college I pay for COMPLETELY on my own, by the […]
I still remember the times when nothing is too complicated (except for math) or too morbid. But now, look at my life. I like heavy metal and the colour black. I write poems that revolve around the theme death. I just came out of depression. And I want it back.
To say the truth, I came from a ‘perfect’ family. My dad has a good job, my mum loves all three of us and we siblings get along with each other almost all of the time. I get somewhat alright grades, around A to B usually, and I am in the school track team. Our whole […]
I know i havent posted in awhile, but ive just had a lot of new stuff going on. Some good and some bad.
2 weeks ago i was bored and posted a picture of me on fb..didnt expect a guy that i used to be best friends with to be the first one to like it then message me. Didnt expect to get 20 comments on it, all from my family yelling me to smile. I had nothing to smile about, so why bother?
Lets see, 7 1/2 hrs later and a lot of texting, that guy asks me out, i say yes, and the […]
If everytime I message her, I feel high, then what does it mean? What if it brings me out of numbness. What if after our talks, I end up feeling like shit. We come back to my old rants about love. I thought Nycolle was my drug, yet I just felt worse and worse the whole time.
Lucky for me there are people here who most highly likely feel the same about this kind of situation. But, the problem is my lack of long term solutions for this problem. What can I do? After breaking off what little we had? People from here tell me not […]
My dad told me in the car the other day that I was going to hell.
I ate at a Chinese buffet and got a fortune cookie that said, “accept yourself.” I thought if I have already, then I’m a worthless piece of shit that no one wants. I’m invisible to most, but those who see me are disgusted and try to get rid of me, one permanently. They really shouldn’t waste their time, I’ll do it myself eventually. So, they just leave. If I haven’t accepted myself, I’m sure when I do I’ll kill myself realizing I’m worse than I think.
I can’t do this for […]
my mom is always hating me everything i do is wrong  no matter if i do something good she only sees bad my sisters call me and emo fag and a attention whore i want to die so bad i cut every day each day to go on living is a struggle i gave up hope along time ago i cant even remember last time i was happy or i didnt have a forced smiled my dad and my best friend are the only ones who care but when they ask whats wrong i either say im just tired or nothings wrong im fine im […]
Hi. guys i joined the other day not sure if u read but my partner. of 9yrs ane dad to our 6yr old commited suicide 8 mnths ago i hear all ur stories of pain and not wanting to go on n it pains me to hear and leaves me with not only worry for you but the. ppl around. you even if you think no one cares they do and loosing a person to suicide is pain. that u can not understand. until. felt u do not no what will happen. in the next second let alone week. You have nothing. to loosre in […]