In both cases, I have many secrets. Many told and twisted, others kept in shame. I could make this post very long and quite wordy; however, I will leave out as much shame as necessary. First off, everything in my life seems perfect. Too perfect. I have a great husband, great dogs, house paid off, little debt, and all of the other “blessings” we all find in this world. We live a quite normal life, as much as we can anyways. But, I am still sad..all of the time. Over and over, I think about how much I should not be sad, should know my […]
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Daily Basis
This is the first time I have ever told anyone I have been contemplating suicide. Most people would say I have a good life, which I do agree, but I can’t find the motivation to want to help myself. I’m 21 and a college student with a criminal record already and have a family that I have secluded myself from. I want to write out my whole life story but I honestly don’t even care enough to do that. I just know that have suicidal thought on a daily basis isn’t normal. I know I have severe depression problems cause my mom has been diagnosed […]
Is it apathetic?
Indifferent?
Or is the universe dreaming about us?
I really want to believe that it’s dreaming. If it’s all a dream, then the horrific things that happen on a daily basis are the result of the universe eating some really bad sushi before it went to sleep.
Honestly, this is killing me. Everyday, I wake up..
My mom is on drugs and she wants nothing to do with me,
My brother is in prison.. And dad’s getting older. Nothing easy anymore.
Guys, (girls) This isnt a cry for help. This is an honest statement.
I can’t go on much longer.
I’m in a relationship with someone I’m so in love with, but I get ignored on a daily basis.
It hurts more than anything. I could be happy. I really could, but not like this.
I’ve attempted suicide 5 times
I have scars, and I’ve be committed into the hospital 3 times.
Everything is easier if you just stop caring, right? It’s easier if you just are alone as often as possible, right?
Then why do I still care? Why do I still check on a daily basis, to make sure my friend didn’t just go. It’s been about 5 days since he last posted. Ususally I wouldn’t be this worried, but his friend just took her own life and I can’t text him to make sure.And  I don’t know why I am suddenly thinking of all of this now. I am a wreck.
I’ve been thinking about it lately. Too much. How easy it would be to […]
I am not one for showing my true feelings to the general public. I consider myself to have gone completely numb on the inside but nobody could ever tell thanks to my happy personality which I fake just so I do not have to answer questions regarding my true life. I thought once I got out of high school my life would be a bit different, it is in some ways but not everything is peachy. I have been physically and mentally abused by my mom since I was born and I am 21 now and it still continues. According to her I am worthless, […]
A few years ago, my business partner stole millions of dollars from me which forced the closing of the business that I spent my life building. Â Shortly thereafter, I turned to gambling out of desperation, and what little I had left after he stole the money has been consumed by it. Â It has destroyed my life, my family’s lives, and my career. Â I have stopped gambling, but the consequences have finally pushed me past my ability to cope with them. Â While I don’t necessarily want to die, I simply can’t deal with being asked literally 20 times or more per day for money that I […]
i’m a 16 year old girl. never done anything bad really, except for white lies and secret boyfriends (from my parents). But I guess it is what has led me to how I feel now.
It’s started since 6 years ago when my sister became a disappointment to my parents. And well, coming from a South Asian culture, stereotypical, it had to do with the influence of the Western society, new found independence (she was 18) and lack of grades. It costed my parents a lot and that I understood. After that year abroad, she had to return to India and took my mother with her, I […]
“How Nice To Feel Nothing, and Still Get Full Credit For Being Alive.”
by MilesToGo
written by MilesToGo
That’s a quote from one of my all time favourite novels, Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut. I have plans to get the book’s mantra, ‘so it goes’, tattooed somewhere on my body.
Which, is kind of at odds with posting on a suicide website, isn’t it?
I don’t actually know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know if I’m depressed – I’ve never gone to a doctor or a counseller. I think about suicide on a near-daily basis; not in some abstract way, but with regards to methodologies, and having a suicide note on my laptop which I regularly update to correspond with the messages I want […]
Hi all, It is very sad that we are forced, I am forced to live in a world that kills all life so freely and they justify it in their minds as either a good thing or a needed evil. Our world Governments kill without pause. But If I want to Leave what I view as a painful and unjust life I am considered of ill mental health. I have been diagnosed with major depression for many years. I have been on many drugs, did therapy from 1991 to 1997, I am 55 yo. Gay and blah, blah , blah. I am looking for a […]
First, I was going to start off with a response to Laura22:
I found this excerpt online:Â Â Obsession is when you cannot function as a person on a daily basis without thinking about an object of affection. Love is mutually supportive, caring, and giving.
I wanted to explain. Â I have always been in love with her, but the obsessiveness didn’t kick in until some time later. Â About a year after I believe. Â And I still believe that it’s love even now. Â It’s just that the obsessiveness is present as well. Â I don’t enjoy admitting that I am obsessive. Â It hurts coming from other people, even if it is […]
My suicide story isn’t base on a single dramatic occurrence or a series of bad hands dealt to me by life, like so many have posted concerning their suicide stories. Like many (if not all) here I have been dealing with deep depression, manic mood swings, and suicidal thoughts on a daily basis, that at times feels all consuming. Again, my path to suicide wasn’t due to a traumatic event but rather a fucking series of mundane, minutiae life events that have led me to deciding to off myself at the end of lackluster, Loserville 25 year bullshit life. All my life I haven’t amounted […]
I am all alone in this mysterious world.I know almost nothing about my life,myself or the world around me.I’m really lost in the darkness of my great ignorance.I don’t know much about myself either.I can’t understand the workings of my own mind.It seems as though I am myself part of the mystery of existence and life.I am so helpless and lonely.The god of this enigmatic universe manipulates and controls all aspects of my life.He controls the innermost parts of my mind.I’m like a toy in his powerful hands.And death is getting closer and closer to me.My life smells of death.My body is so mortal that […]
I thought I was nothing once…
It seemed I was a small, insignificant part of the world, and when I died everything would keep moving forward as if I didn’t ever existed in the first place. My hopelessness… my struggles… they were all too much for me. I was ready to die, not knowing what was on the other side, but hoping it was better than the hell I was living.
I was two years old when my parents divorced. I was the daughter of a 24 year old Sunday School Teacher and a beautiful 18 year old High School Graduate, but others in our community […]
I’m not sure why I am writing this, but I’ve never written any of this down before and maybe it will help, even if no one else comments on it or even reads it…
I’m a 26-year-old woman. For the past couple of months, I’ve thought about killing myself on a daily basis. I will look at a blank wall and visualize my blood splattered against it. I will imagine throwing myself in front of a fast moving train while on my way to work. I do not consider myself depressed. It just seems the only logical conclusion.Â
I am currently in a relationship with a wonderful […]
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have you been taken advantage of by every person youve met
have you been nice followed the rules and yet , still gotten in stupid trouble all of the time
have you been physically abused as a child on a daily basis but lied to afterwards
the police would come too often after you getten chased around your house, yet what a good family life my ass
abused mentally too , every day of your life,
was your father a drug addict, alcoholic and drug dealer?
Did you have no friends , and been alone in your head since you were young enough to crawl
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