I have lost multiple people in my life. Many, many people. It hurts, I thought they would live forever, they would never leave me, but no they didn’t, people never do. It’s all my fault, all mine, they left this world, and I probably caused it… I was young, so little, my adoptive mother/great great grandmother loved me, hated me, protected me,exposed me, hid me, hurt me, but she kept me alive, she died when I was around seven. All I remember is her in the hospital bed with pictures of us taped to the many wires which were connected to her. She died, with […]
Hello 🙂 I am going to start now…
I have attempted suicide before, but all times my plans have fallen through. I have tried suffocation through bag twice, tried hanging myself once, tried swallowing a ton of pills once, and that’s it. I cut. I despise blood and looking at other peoples injuries makes me want to faint, but for some reason it’s different with my blood. I laugh when I cut and I shake so much. It calms me, makes me happy for a short while. I wish I could be left alone though, my parents are the kind of parents who despise any problems […]
You are not alone, you are worth it.
Together we can make it through.
I swear, I will be here for you.
You are loved, you are beautiful.
Inside and outside, every part of you is lovable.
And if you don’t think I am being truthful,
I swear, I will prove it to you.
Because my love for you is irrefutable.
You are amazing and kind.
Don’t let others redefine you.
My dear, please let me remind you,
That I use you all the time as an example,
When someone asks me to describe what perfection was.
If you knew how loud they would applause.
I swear, you would drop your jaw.
You are sweet and honest.
I appreciate that the […]
I tried to drown myself today.
Mom started knocking on the door 40 sec (i counted. Creepy. I know) after i put my head under water. I wish i could feel bad about it. Or get scared. Or some other shit. But no. I liked it. I really do want to die. Life is not for everybody i guess
I’ve wanted my life to end before. I’ve thought of ways I can do it that would have the least amount of impact on the people around me. My family would get over it. Relationships are hard for me so I don’t have any really close friends to worry about. I’ve tried counseling and I’ve taken medication. I’ve reached out to people when I’ve needed help. But you can only reach out to people so many times before you start bringing them down. That’s when they leave you. I’ve worked SO hard to hide this side of me from my boyfriend of two years. There […]
Human’s Imagination / Humans’ Imagination / Humans Imagination is better than Reality
Movie / movies is better than reality / real life / real world
Video game / games is better than reality / real world / real life
Novel /novels is better than reality / real-life / real-world /
Sci-fi / Science-fiction is better than reality / reallife / realworld
Fantasy is better than reality / real world / real life
Anime / manga is better than reality / realworld / reallife
Dream / dreams is better than reality / real-world / real-life
I hate reality !!!!
Reality it’s all about MONEY !!!!!!
Reality is BORING […]
Hello, friends
Just looking for some place to vent. If you’re reading this, I’m already a happier sad person and humbled by your sympathetic presence.
In my own case, thinking about death has more to do with very specific problems i have. With my health, to be exact. Still, feeling the blues takes you to the place where you cannot ignore your very human attempts to put everything into perspective, and to look for any meaning in seemingly unrelated circumstances in your life. And that’s why me posting this doesn’t mean that I’ve completely lost it. I think.
So, the health related “problem’ I’m talking about today is […]
Hi
I’m new here. But that’s not important.
I don’t know where to start so…
Yeah
My whole life is fucked up
I was 6 when i tried to kill myself for the first time. Why?
Cause my abusive father was accused of murdering my brother
And they were interrogating me and my siblings.
Cause my father wasted all the money that were supposed to go for his coffin just to get drunk
Cause i was bullied
Cause i was sexually abused
Cause i had to act like my brother when i was with my mom to keep her sane.
It wasn’t the last time that i tried to off myself
Why?
2006-2016
I was sexually abused 5 […]
The minutes are torturess. It’s as if someone is screaming inside of me. My life has become unbearable.
But suddenly now I’m at peace, with the concept of death. I’ve reached the point where I’m okay with how I feel. I accept it. I accept that my life may end with an impulsive slit to the throat. I accept that I may go on for a lifetime feeling this pain and enternal hurt.
I accept these things, but it doesn’t mean I’m no longer aching inside. Because I am. I still have this dull heavy pain in my chest but I’m no longer fighting it. […]
This is my first post. Honestly, never in my life did I think I’d be on a website like this but here I am. Not that there’s anything wrong with sites like this, I’m just usually too shy to do anything like this.
But I guess this is my story?
Since elementary school, I’d been struggling with self-esteem, self-confidence, depressive feelings, anorexic tendencies, and suicidal thoughts.
As time went by, it all only got worse and worse. And now, here I am, in high school and wondering which way I should kill myself. I recently moved in with my dad after more than ten years of not living […]
Hi,
I have had misophonia for over 30 years and psoriasis for nearly as long despite being prescribed immunosuppressants. As a result of arguments with a family member I have attempted to commit suicide twice by overdosing prescription drugs (beta-blockers and sleeping pills which shall remain nameless). On the second attempt late last year I was found by a doctor and taken to hospital where I narrowly avoided being sent to psychiatric hospital. Waking up in a hospital in a Fentanyl induced daze is a peculiar experience, especially being read the riot act for trying to take out my cannula.
As my misophonia and psoriasis are incurable […]
No, the pain of not getting to go out when you wanted to is not as bad as the pain of losing someone you love. No, you don’t have the right to act as if these small things you call “first world problems” are as bad as it gets. There is a fine line between inconvenience and pain. Between a small glitch in a normal to semi good day and having to refrain from the extreme urge to kill yourself. I’m so young, but I could swear I’ve felt the slits of the blood sea’s razor and have checked into hell too many times to […]
No one will probably read this but I’d like to pretend they will because I can’t tell anyone I know.
I’m almost 17 years old and I’ve had general anxiety since the day I was born, and severe clinical depression since I was 7. In the last two years, my life has hit 20,000 leagues under the sea. My depression has gotten worse and worse and I’ve tried so many different medications and none work, which doesn’t help ease the ache of what’s been happening. December 17, 2013 I started dating one of my best friends, and I was head over heels in love. I was […]
Hello there. I’ve been around this site for a few months now. I see people are quite nice around here, so i guess i’ll be telling a few tales regarding how i got to the point i am at now. Perhaps what i say will fall in non-deaf ears for once.
I’m still here. 5 months later from the last time I was severely depressed, and I’m still here. It could be the seasons changing… or it could be something worse, but here I am again… Back to typing away to relieve whatever it is that’s bothering inside of me. My not so secretive journal.
Am I seeking attention for doing this? Maybe. But in the condition I am now, that’s all I’m longing for. I feel so alone.
In reference to Melanie Martinez’s song ‘Dollhouse’, I feel everyone imagines my family as flawless but behind the curtains, we’re flawed in every little way. My mind goes into […]
I’ve got a major problem.
I guess I can’t go on anymore.
I think that I’ve been cheated. I think god(or whoever who created me) didn’t have any right to create me against my own will. all religious people react to that in a very bad way. they laugh at me, they humiliate me (and say I have no right to decide about want god should do and what not); and some of them who are not so arrogant try to make excuses for god’s doings. I hate all those people who love god for no good reason. happy people (I tend to call them “happy”) believe that […]
People have told me a lot of stories about rape.
They’ve told me how to be careful when I walk alone at night,
And how men in trench coats come out of dark alleys.
They’ve told me to kick them in the groin and run,
To scream for help.
People who can calmly tell you how they were almost caught,
How a stranger followed them down a sidewalk and made a grab,
And how they fought back and won.
How the offender’s in jail and their life is back on track
how happy they are.
But no one talks about how they didn’t fight.
About how they […]
Actually, I’ve been a lurker for the longest time. On and off. Never posted before though. I don’t think I’ve ever been actually the text book definition of suicidal, but I wonder about death (and life) a lot. The last time I had been on here was about 2 years ago. So today when I came across this video, I surprised myself to suddenly find that my very first thought was to share it here on TSP.
So HELLO SPians, and here’s to life and death, our favorite oil-and-water odd couple…
Enjoy CREEP (Radiohead, 1992), performed by this raspy and wholehearted former street performer, “Mustard” (aka. Danny […]
Seems like i’m going to walk a little longer.
how long? no one knows, but after not having the balls to try and overdose myself it anti-depressants and pain killers for the third time i got caught by my Mother and she is not letting me out her sight and have locked every place with locks.
isnt it shameful, 20year old shut-in freak who cant even kill himself is now living a lie inside hes room and being watched all the time except when others sleep. the society doesnt even realise its destroying lives of hundreds and after that tells us its our fault and that it […]
Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen.
How do you do? I’ve read many suicide notes and just registered an account to publish my own suicide note. Where do I start from? I guess from the beginning, eh. Well, I turned 22 this year on the November the 6th. Been severely depressed since 2. I had severe trauma and most likely resulted in brain damage which my parents aren’t telling me about. I have an intermediate stutter and I noticed I have a learning disability and throughout colleges and schools. I’ve been severely bullied on and off basis to the point I had to use deadly force and also been […]