I know that isn’t really a word. My daughter struggles with depression, scratching (not really deep cuts) and suicidal thoughts. I do, too. I have told her that before that I know where she is coming from. I even told her that I had thoughts of wanting to die. In typical 13 year old fashion, she must have never really heard me. We don’t like her psychiatrist, so yesterday I told her that I was going to start therapy and seeing a psychiatrist again because my thoughts of wanting to die were increasing. She started crying and was depressed the whole day stating she never […]
I’ve been feeling worse and worse. Today in class I didn’t make the effort to open my notebook and take notes. I blankly stared at the slideshows and pretended to be engaging in class.
I tried to start on the three essays that are due tomorrow for my Communications class but greatly failed as I spent time watching videos on YouTube trying to keep myself alive. I lied to my mom about my second class of the day and told her that once again my teacher cancelled class so I could just go to my psych appointment and then we could go home.
I should probably try […]
Psych class was pretty amazing. Learned that I’ve been having panic attacks and that it’s a thing that’s gonna keep appearing so I’m definitely going to talk to my psychologist about it and see what he has to say about that.
It’s very difficult to share something I enjoy with my family, especially with my mom. I try to tell her about how class went and what I learned and keep her informed that more stuff will keep pilling up with my depression … “You can change it, yeah it’s chemical reactions and all but you are able to control your thoughts and everything else that […]
I guess i could either give it a fancy title or just get to the point. Depression. Anxiety. Abuse.
I have actually not came out about it (abuse) and please do not think i am doing this so you feel sorry for me or anything! Yes at the age of 5 i was abused a lot till the age of 11. It wasn’t just by one person though. Since then i’ve always been scared and try my best to reduce attracting attention. i always blamed myself.
Last year, December, i realised i had depression and was diagnosed of it. Went to several people but none helped. Just […]
Hi! I’m going to remain anonymous but I’m a 13-year-old bigender person who has never really been happy. I doubt I’ll ever post here again because I have other places to vent (where I’ve posted this, but I feel really bad so I’m gonna write it again. For some reason it makes me feel better), and I prioritize those places. Anyway, here is me.
I was born to my dating high-school-sweethearts mother and father. They lived with my mom’s mother for two years after that before getting an apartment together (with me, of course). They didn’t love each other anymore. My dad says they weren’t even […]
I’m falling apart.
My life is falling apart.
I have been so hopeful.
I’ve been trying so hard.
But I just keep receiving bad things.
Now I keep thinking bad things.
I just want to die.
I can’t do this anymore.
Life is too overwhelming.
I can’t get ahead.
I can’t catch a break.
I can’t do this anymore.
I can’t live like this anymore.
I want to die.
I need to.
Bye SP.
All my life I knew something was different about me… Maybe it was how self conscious I became when my parents couldn’t afford to have more than one or two outfits that fit me when I was little. Or maybe it was how hard my mom tried to make my brother and I happy, but my dad always tore her down.. Maybe it was my parents always being to busy to come to any of my school concerts and events? Maybe it was just me? All I know is that through it all, no matter who I have around me, trying to support me.. I […]
I made a promise to myself (for my family and friends) a long time ago that I wouldn’t kill myself unless I have tried everything I know of to make myself better. I’m surrounded by too many wonderful people that I know would be devastated if I committed suicide. (I know, poor me. I can’t help that the only thing fucked about my life is my own head.)
About 7 weeks ago I had decided to go through with it. I went to grab my car keys and Ayahausca jumped into my head. Fuck! Stupid promise. A few weeks before that my old boss told me […]
I will get this out of the way now. I have been depressed for about four years now. I have always hated everything about myself, then everything started adding on top of it until my first suicide attempt. I was saved by my boyfriend’s older brother, who called the police when I told him what I had done.
Since then, I have started anti-depressants and started therapy. I still have days that I hate myself and who I am. But I am getting better. It doesn’t help that I am fat, obese, chubby, whatever you want to call it. After a debilitating injury, I gain a […]
If theirs one thing I’ve learned in my life so far, its that life is so damn unfair. You could be the greatest human being in the world but if you were born under really shitty circumstances, none of that really matters. Because you cant accomplish anything if you have nothing, or not enough, to start with. All I ever wanted is a normal life. Just a stable family. A stable mom, a stable dad, living under stable circumstances. But no, I’ve got none of that. The truth is I shoudnt have been born.
So where do I start? I’ll start with my dad. He came […]
I really hate the word reality. I hate when my mom storms in to my room
and tells me that lying in bed and taking naps all the time isn’t reality. She tells me I have to get up and sometimes I feel like I can’t. I don’t want to and it would be heaven if I could stay in my bedroom forever. It’s my safe place and I feel like no one can hurt me here. Today my mom came in to my room and she told me I had to start […]
I don’t even know what to feel anymore I’m just kind of, numb. I’m pushing everyone away from me and refusing to talk about what’s wrong when I’m asked. Day 1 almost down of no eating, day 2 almost down of another sleepless night. After going a few months without cutting I dug the blade into my thighs yesterday and again today. I layed in the bath and just bled. Like it was the most normal thing in the world, no pain just emptiness. I have an doctors appointment soon and I don’t want them seeing my thighs. I don’t feel a thing but I […]
ok, so, this might get incoherent, idk. i just need to get this out of my system. sorry if i get really vague.
i’m so tired of having friends. i love them, but i’m so exhausted. i don’t feel like ill be able to live much longer but ill try my best, i suppose.
it’s so hard to deal with depression (if i even have it. i still haven’t been able to get diagnosed.). i’ve gotten no professional help, except for one time when a school counsellor had to come to my home to get me out of my bed (if that even counts).
i’m so tired of […]
The time has come for this worthless trash to go….this might be one hell of a lame post considering my skills at writting ( at everything in fact ).
Anyway, how should I even start ? By the truth maybe, I’m a 21 years old loser who disagree with the meaning of his life. I always lived a loser’s life as far as I recall, but childhood innocence (I guess ) prevented me from realizing it, ignorance is bliss after all, starting as an hyperactive, but outgoing kid able to make friends, to a slowly (but surely) shying away teenager, and adult too for that matter, […]
every so often i ask my mom to get me diagnosed with depression.
i doubt itll ever happen, and im probably lying to myself that i have depression but i wish i could get diagnosed within a second. i just want proof that i have depression. maybe some antidepressants to help me cope. my family probably cant afford them, so i feel trapped. ive attempted suicide once. my mom knows about it but she didnt know it was a suicide attempt, because i didnt tell her. anyways. i was talking to her earlier about me getting diagnosed, and at some point she said that my depression […]
Hello, this is my first post.
I’ve read a few posts on this site since i started using it yesterday. I see a lot of you has been struggling since your childhood. You had it hard. You had a lot of problems.
I cant relate to that. My life has been “very good” since I can remember. My family wasnt the best, but they all love me and are very nice. I have great friends, the best i couldve found. I look good and I’m really smart. I got to know what love is and STILL ive been contemplating suicide ever since I was 15.
It’s very hard […]
Not necessarily suicide (though it can be if you want), but just death in general. Tell me: Age, exact cause of death, and misc information (optional). For me, I think I’d like to die at around age 31 (because I get to experience my billionth second), suicide, after I become a professor.
I feel like I’m only five steps away from falling off this cliff and depression is pushing my back to the edge. Depression, it’s always been there from the start, when I tried to commit suicide when I was 11 and whenever I do my late night cries in bed. I’m at the point where I just feel numb. I don’t feel happy, I don’t feel sad, I don’t feel angry. I just feel tired and numb and I want out of it. So then questions started to pop up, “how can I end this?” “where should I run away to?” “is there anyway I […]
I fell the pain vibrating in my skull.
I just clench my jaw and force the smile to stay on my face.
The voices ask why I even continue.
Well the singing wills me to stay strong just a little longer.
It takes an army to build me up.
But it only takes a few to knock me down.
What’s encouraging me to stay?
My mom once told me the most selfish thing you can do is take your own life.
I once said I took eight Advils.
She said she would give me the Heimlich right there at that moment.
Maybe life’s hard right now. But it’s not forever.
Some day I’ll leave this life.
And […]