Anxiety and depression is ruling my life and ruining it. I wish I could just snap out of it. The worst part is that I don’t even seem to want to change it. Everyday I seem to make choices which just allow it to get worse. I don’t go back to the doctors, which I know I should do. I should be taking medication, but I don’t. That would involve going back to the doctors to get a prescription. Going to the doctors makes me anxious. Getting help makes me anxious. I’ve tried before. It starts ok, but then I feel pressure to get better […]
Tag:
Depression
My story starts in 2010. After a picture of me in underwear ends on internet and all my small city call me a whore all my “friends” started to stay away from me, because “no one wants do be friends with such a slut”, they said. The people I know started to ignore everything I was, all my qualities, and started to judge me just because that stupid pic. I was only 14. I suffered bullying, I had no friend. I couldn’t talk about this with my parents because I was afraid to let them down and ashamed for what I’ve done. So, I don’t […]
Soooo this is my first post thingy so no hate unless its at least funny and please comment your own thoughts.
I wanna start out by saying how weird life is and how unbelievably random it could be, but also how planed it ends up being. Like if I make a good choice to hang out with my first friend which goes into a bad decision of doing drugs, which leads to a path with fake friends. Then of course ended up here at block one with no friends just to start all over.
But I cant help to say that I kinda liked that part of my […]
I feel like it’s time. But I don’t want it to be. I made a promise to myself, you see. I promised to wait until I was 21 to find something to live for.
Even though I really want to wait, I’m just tired. Waiting is probably the best way to describe my life and I feel like I can’t take it. Also, my head hurts all the time, without apparent reason. I don’t want to feel pain anymore, but I don’t want others to suffer because of me.
I’ve always prefered to be hurt if that means that someone doesn’t. Maybe that didn’t make […]
I am 99% sure that I want to kill myself. I really want to tell someone that so they could say they had a chance to save me, and they can feel less guilty when they can’t, so they can say at least they tried. But I don’t want to tell Julian (fake name) because he would try to stop me. I haven’t felt this sure about anything in a long time.
I’m going to do it. I need to at least try, or I can’t live with myself. (I guess I wouldn’t be living with myself anyway, ha.) I will be documenting the next few […]
Why movies are better than reality ? Why movie is better than reality ? Why reality is boring ?
by niki
written by niki
Why movies are better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why movie is better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why reality is boring ?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality ( human’s fantasy is better than reality )
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, X-Men, Marvels & DC universe / movies , The Avengers , Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Naruto, Bleach, […]
I am trying so hard, so very hard to hold on. I’m only 16. People say your almost done hold on….? Almost done what? High school and move on to even more stress and pain. I’m trying so hard but I’m tired so very tired of trying.
Just a few things on my mind and I may seem harsh but reading some of these comments are making me ill. Your all encouraging each other to take your life’s? Giving each other options for easy ways out? I have been in the exact same situation as many of you&it does get better. We don’t need to encourage each other to take the easy way out. We need to be sharing some fucking hope! So if I come across as harsh, it’s because I generally care.
First of all, I don’t give a shit what anyone says; There is no reason why you should take […]
Today is one of those days when it’s difficult to just exist. When thinking is your worst enemy. When you just want to disappear.
Even though it hasn’t been a particularly bad day, nothing feels right. I’m such an useless pessimist.
-V
(I wrote a little thing and feel free to look at it when you need someone to tell you a story to help you out a little. I’ve always been afraid to share it online out of the fear of it being stolen, because I like to keep the writing that I hold dear to me to myself, but I feel like it should be shared, not stolen.)
She had always felt worthless. Everyone and everything around her made her feel like a bad person, but she didn’t know that she had a heart of gold because no one would tell her. She tried to be […]
This feels weird, I don’t usually talk about this. I don’t want to die anymore, at least not all the time like i did before, but i don’t want to live either. I was in a really dark place about 6 years ago when I was close to ending my life, the only thing that kept me from actually doing it was fear of spending eternity in hell. I got help, it got better for a while I thought that part of my life was over, just a phase, but it wasn’t I still have some of those feelings left over, and it’s hard.
My parents […]
This is my first post on any suicide blog. I’ve tried to talk to people before but they don’t seem to understand and I’m looking for someone who does. I’m a 12 year old girl. My age is another reason why people don’t listen they think I’m to little to be going through this kind of stuff but it can happen at any age. I wanted to share my story to people who might actually listen. It all started when my mom told me about my friend who cutted I didn’t know what cutting really was but I found out. My first cut was small. […]
It’s currently 12:54 AM and in less than an hour, my brother (basically the main reason why I’m alive today) will be leaving the country to live in Scotland. It’s a safe guess to say that today will be one of the hardest and saddest, if not the most, days I’ve lived. I don’t think I’m really prepared for this, at least emotionally.
I mean, he basically raised me. I really don’t know how this is going to affect my mental state, but as long as he’s happy, so am I.
After all, this will not be goodbye,
but until next time.
-V
I’ve been at my real dads since June 24 and I’m leaving August 3.
My mom has been verbally and mentally abusive for all of my life. She threatens to physically abuse me all the time. She led me to believe that my dad never cared about me and that he cheated on her with my stepmom.
That wasn’t the case nor did my dad ever do that. It’s got worse recently which is why I’m up here with my dad. I would call my stepmom everyday crying. My dad found out what she recently has done ( she was making others and friends believe I’m psychotic […]
Sometimes I just want to disappear into thin air,
make myself come none into existence,
forgotten by the crowds,
and erased by time,
I never felt that I will ever fit in this fallacy
My soul, my breath, and my blood
They are just deceiving illusion
I don’t belong here
Something tickling my mind
And tell me to run
Tell me to believe in something unknown
Somewhere I should belong
Out of grasp of the Fake
It actually not a poetry, it just some random words that stumble upon my mind. Something like this bothering me for years. Somehow, I believe there’s a place for people like me out there, or maybe I just being delusional?
I consider myself to be an Empath. You might be one too. It’s been extremely difficult to live and function in a society where people don’t really have empathy so it’s hard for them to really feel what somebody else is going through. And that’s why so many people are ruthless and cutthroat, you know. Being and Empath is like having a finely tuned ‘Bullshit’ Lie-Detector. It’s really strange to have the ability to really feel what other people are feeling because I don’t know how to handle and cope with it. Now, staying away from strangers is easy enough; I just don’t go outside […]
I used to think that the tears would never stop, the urges would never cease, and the thoughts of suicide would only grow stronger. I am here, two years suicide-thought free to tell each and everyone of you, this too shall pass. It takes time, so much time. I was lucky to be able to say “I need help” and I got it.
I never looked in the mirror and thought of something that I liked about myself. Never. I began thinking that this was how I would always feel. Never pretty, or skinny, or good enough. I was feeling this way and just assumed it was […]
I wasn’t like this at first. I was so happy. I had strong religious faith. I was a good kid overall, so much that being depressed was out of the question. I guess the world is evil. The world changed my more mature self. I became more aware of problems. More family problems, friend issues, doubts in my faith, everything that was enough to tip my world over. My parents hate each other, but they stay together because of me. My friends don’t really care about personal things, and if they do they aren’t very supportive. I’m not the smartest person. I’m not pretty. I […]
My suffering has been never ending for over twelve years. I am 18 years old and about to finish high school. I don’t know if I will reach that finish line, as I am stumbling hard. I won’t go into my whole backstory, but I will mention some of it.
I’ve suffered extreme bullying for my whole school life. When I finally got into high school, I thought it would change…I thought it would be different. How wrong I was.
The bullying started up again very quickly, but none of the teachers ever gave a shit. Recently, that bullying has turned into sexual harassment, and nothing is […]
Hi again, it’s me.
Things have been pretty rough over the last few days.
So, I’m genderflux (for those of you who don’t know what that means, my gender fluctuates). So some days I’ll feel really strongly gendered or attracted to a gender (eg. female, as I was assigned female at birth), some days I’ll feel quite weakly gendered, and some days I won’t feel any gender at all.
But I started wondering whether this was the right term to use to describe myself. Some days, I’ll feel a bit like a girl, and I’ll want to wear skirts, and other days, I’ll want to […]