People get upset when things don’t go their way.But I doubt they feel like I do.Call me a drama queen I don’t care.It’s not all the times, for example once in school a girl wouldn’t shut up and I just wanted to get up and punch her.Other times my parents don’t let me go out while other parents let their children go and they come home til the next day.I feel trapped in my house,even in my room I feel like i have no freedom.I feel like jumping out a window or just running away.I can’t relay on Doctors,family, friends no one to help me. […]
Tag:
Depression
I guess I’ll start by saying I’ve battled with depression, sadness and self loathing for over half my life and boy has it been a battle. From as long as I can remember I’ve made bad choices and generally have become a person a do not respect. It’s been quiet awhile sine I could look at myself in the mirror, for all I see is shame, pain and sadness in my own eyes. I guess I just don’t respect myself and what I’ve become.
I have been a horrible son and brother, who seem to drop off the face of the earth whenever life brings me […]
It’s been three months since you left me, I lost all my friends as we shared the same friends, yet worst of all I lost my best friend – you. I had to find my house, out alone in the cold without you. All my friends left me, they couldn’t bear the tension between us, my friends lived with us, none of them have contacted me. Every night I have nightmares about you. The last time I slept safe and sound was when I was in your arms. How could you have taken everything away from me? Don’t tell me this is a first world […]
I don’t really know where to start off. This is my first post so please don’t criticize me or anything.
Okay. So ever since I was a little kid, I mean little like 3, I’ve been terribly anxious. Anxious about anything and everything. And I don’t really have a reason, I just am. I’ve never really liked who I am, appearance, personality, etc. And in 5th grade I would constantly get made fun of and I just hated going to school. And then in 6th grade, I hated myself. I hated how I looked and I hated that other people were so much better.. So I […]
I have a fucked up life.
Till my 11th class i was a good student and a person who had a lot of fucking confidence… I would say what I like infront of friends and often they get fucking angry at me.. One time i did some serious shit and talked to a friend on facebook pretending to be a girl. When he came to know about it he got angry…he fucking slaped me and i was wondering why he did that…i did not slap him back because may be i was too coward..
Other friends came and they rescued us…
I felt really low […]
I hate my life. I’m so depressed.. It all started about a year ago. There was this guy I had liked for a while and we finally started talking. The first few weeks, everything was great. We texted just about everyday. Exchanged the finest words. Things were perfect. Then suddenly one day it’s like he just forgot about me. He started tweeting about this other girl and it made me feel invisible. Once him and her stopped talking, we started again. Then another girl came into the picture. I hated seeing them flirt at school. Anyways, he’d flip flop back and forth between her and […]
Honestly, whats the point anymore? i hate life, and life hates me, who gives a damn if i go to hell. im already living in it, i can deal with it. And i wouldnt doubt it being better than my own pathetic life. If anyway i wanna go is going to be overdosing, cuz my mom has a big bottle of sleeping pills, and i could easily kill the whole bottle. Cant do a rope, since i dont know how to tie a noose, and i dont know where i could i put the rope, to hold my fat ass. Cutting too deep, i dont […]
Um, hello.
I’m not quite sure if anyone is going to read this, or how this works in general, but I am just going to say what I feel like saying.
Usually, what was happening to me in the past couple of years, was that I would become moderately anxious and depressed when the end of the school year came around. I would go to my psychotherapist, and by the end of summer, I would feel just fine. This process repeated for about 2 years.
But this year, I feel like it’s not like the “process” at all.
I started feeling worthless and depressed towards the beginning of the year, and then […]
–Fictional work of a delusional nobody—
Hello and the fact that you’re reading this means that you were the poor unfortunate bastard who found my body(i’m terribly sorry about the mess the envelope in my pocket contains money for a cleaning service and there business card).
Now on to business shall we, where were we , ahh yes you’ve found me, now im guessing you are wondering why what could have possessed me to do such a thing well I hate to dissapoint you but im not completely sure why i did it either there have been many factors that have lead me to my decision but […]
i’m only sixteen. what the hell is wrong with me? honestly.
am i suppose to be happy? or at least the slightest bit content? everybody else seems to be. but perhaps that’s because they spend their time making fun of me. i can’t make friends, it’s hard for me. and if i do make “friends” they outcast me and make me feel bad and different. it’s like they’re only my friend so they can make fun of me really and make themselves feel better. my parents don’t believe me when i say i don’t have many friends. i think they’re In denial.
they don’t even believe […]
A wise man once said,
” depression is like drowning, you can see a hear everyone around you, and somehow, your still alive.”
I feel as if I am a defective person; mere trash that the common person uses for their own purpose then tosses away, like yesterdays newspaper. I grew up in a dysfunctional home. (Who hasn’t, right?) But I’ve had an extremely hard time making friends. (I am in my forties, so this isn’t a new thing.) My family is either ultra-religious & I am a heathen who doesn’t follow their God-fearing ways…so they outcast me. Also, my sibling has children and grandchildren now, too…but those are his only family. just his immediate…no sisters, parents, cousins, NOTHING…just his own tight knit unit he gets to […]
I have nobody.
I have no real friends. Once I try to talk about my feelings or get help, I just end up getting ignored. I know it’s not easy but please don’t leave me alone in this again. I can’t breathe
i need to get away and drugs and these fucking razors aren’t doing anything anymore.
I’m so alone and tired
Betrayal!
I was 6 years old when it happened
It felt like the end,
When you betrayed us
To mum’s best friend.
At the start she was just a nail lady,
Then we started having tea,
I was never really fond of her,
She did always charge a high fee.
But then she met you
This was when I knew she was bad
She took a liking to you,
My so called loving Dad.
It then developed to sleepovers
With her in a fold out bed,
One time I came out and saw you
Under her quilt that was red.
Then there was the year of the teen formal
because of rumors, there’s this boy who is friends with the spreaders. and he likes pushing me down stairs or pushing me in front of people at school. i really don’t care about rumors anymore, sometimes you have to get over it. slowly recovering from my depression but am still very anxious.
but for some reason everything, every little issue just annoys me. even if it’s from my significant other. it just annoys me! people apologize to me but i cant hear it anymore. just another big fat stupid lie.
is it normal that as you’re slowly recovering, everything annoys you and makes you so angry, mad […]
I cut my stomach up today. I don’t ever count my cuts or burns but I know there’s close too a hundred. If I don’t cut I get irritable. My skin crawls. Sometimes I can go without cutting for a few weeks! It’s Rare but it’s happened! I was doing really well until today. I got very depressed because I broke up with my boyfriend and I just thought about how meaningless my life is, basically. Everything is better now but the cuts are still there.
There is no order to most of my life.
Just as there won’t be much order to this post; my mind yields only things of its own nature and characteristics.
My poor mind, relatively young yet feeling so old. Worn down, like a war ship incessantly buffeted and berated by the interminable winds howling across the vast expanse of sea and darkness; never letting up, allowing no time for reprieve.
The wood creaks, the boards swell with moisture, and the sails test the very limits of the ropes that hold them, seeming as though they might snap at any moment.
But there is no ship. You know this, as you […]
This feeling of numbness takes over,
Emotions no longer exist,
No happy, no sad, no scared and no mad,
And the numbness I cannot resist.
It follows me around like a shadow,
It’s dark and gloomy and dull,
Like a storm cloud hovering over my head,
And the huge world around me makes me feel small.
Living is a struggle that cannot be compared,
And everyday things are complex,
But I manage to get around and do things I love,
Though to do them are difficult projects.
Day by day and night by night,
The numbness never leaves,
Depression is hard and it weighs me […]
it all started about 8 months ago, recently I had noticed that things got to me alot and they got to me pretty easy. One day, my family were putting me down and they always would compare me to other people, this made me want to just cry. My family relatives would either not notice me or they would just ignore me, they always got annoyed at me if I didn’t socialise with my family but when I tried I got nothing back they would say they were “disappointed” in me and not really care. I was sitting in the bath and as I looked […]
I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember. Looking back, I was a sad, quiet, depressed kid. Thought I was just lonely kid with little to no friends. But now that I know better I do think that I was just such a dark, gloomy, sad girl. Maybe I had sad aura that made people not wanting to get close to me.
I think it’s true nowadays too. It’s almost like I repel people. People won’t want to get to know you if you look sad or miserable. I used to just cry and felt sad everyday, every minute for being so depressed. I’m […]