I’m alone with my thoughts again and I have no where to go even in a crowded room or next to my boyfriend I feel so distant and unlove even when I’m told I’m beautiful I feel so ugly even if someone sincerely says they care about me I turn around and say I’m unlove and unwanted. I’ve always hated being this way, but I don’t know how to change. The only thing I want to do right now is cut all ties and end my life, but I know its not right to think or even say. I’m just so tired, confused, and depressed […]
Tag:
Depression
Most people who have never had depression think depression is no more than just sadness. However, depression is much, much more. It is a never ending link of sadness. It doesn’t go away for a long time. Sometimes it doesn’t go away at all. There is almost no happiness when your are depressed or suicidal. For example, imagine when you are extremely sad. Now imagine that that extreme sadness never, ever goes away, at least not for a very long time. That is what it is like when you have depression.
Like I remember one time, I was at a thanksgiving party (This was last year in […]
I was at school. I just recently found out that a mean girl from last year said that I had head lice and I should just go kill myself. Of course, I just laughed my ass off since that mean girl wasn’t good looking herself and tried to do that because she thought of herself as ugly. For the first three weeks of hearing that I was fine… until something happened…
My sister, who is in the same school and grade as me, became friends with that mean girl’s sidekick. Every time I passed my sister’s new friend, they would both just roll their eyes. I […]
I do not even care anymore. I is not carin about grammar right now. I remember I was at school about a month ago wen my sis and her friend came up to me and said rude things about me and my boy friend. I was sad. I ran home and cryed. my boyfriend was sad too. he tried to comfort me but he don’t know how much I hurt on the inside. of course I aint got no guts for suicide but it still hurts. I am in pain. there Is not light when yu have depression. and don’t you get sick of people […]
I was 15 when I tried to kill myself. It was march 29th 2011. I had been in a deep depression since I had run away from home a little less than a year prior. My parents were drug addicts and my dad was a felon and a drug dealer. My mom was a paraplegic and a slut who fucked everyone and anyone. My older sister was a sociopath that murdered our rabbits and one of our dogs and tried to kill me with an axe which ended up with a trip to the hospital when I was only 5. Now that we have a […]
The more I grow up the more I get older
Physically yes, but psychologically more
It’s like we have to be much more colder, to live life without being hurt
We build up walls so that we don’t get burned, that we fight
the urge of genuinely caring for each other.
Sweetheart, I’m only twenty years old and I started building this house of stone guarded by
Thorns to tear apart those
Who try to destroy the only heart
That I have
A lot of people don’t understand that
The joy that I have is not me trying
To be happy
If I were to […]
The stereotype or social construct is this: It is not manly to cry, therefore real men do not cry. Bullshit. And it’s not just crying. Showing any emotion will get a man labeled a *****. That’s why guys can’t talk about their suicide and depression issues. That’s why men become so emotionaly detached. Â Any show of emotion is a turn-off for women but then later in the relationship they complain about a lack of it.
I don’t want to hurt anyone. But I know committing suicide will hurt them. I know people care about me, but i can’t care about anyone anymore. I used to have […]
Check out this AMAZING youth suicide clip…I wrote it because I wanted to die, in fact I tried to take my life, but things didn’t quite work out that way…Check this out, share it and potentially help save someones life!
that title just describes it all. I honestly hate myself. I don’t look in the mirror because I know I will hate what I see and I will hate what I have become. My arms used to be clean slates and now they are nothing more then a cutting board filled with old and new marks. I promised things that I have broken. I try not to let things get to me but how can you fight your own mind? there came a time when I just gave up and stopped trying. I hate myself for that. I was in therapy for awhile but I […]
After I lost my friend, I didn’t know what to do or who to turn to, I wound up joining the wrong crowd. I was always a little bit of a drinker, I mean I liked the taste. But I got a little too tipsy one night, and I wound up sleeping with this guy whose last name I still don’t even know. I wound up getting pregnant after that, but I tragically lost the baby before I could even tell anyone, including my family. I wound up spiraling down into depression and “cutting” and I was just in a funk. As soon as I […]
In a perfect world, I would no longer be here.
There is no purpose.
There is no reason….
and every breath is just to pass time.
and smiles are actually tears….
Would it really be suicide if I never existed?
Every night, I sit on the ledge of the rooftop
and I look below at the 10 storeys between me and paradise.
a trip down to heaven.
From up there even though the stars are shining I cannot see them.
I just want to disappear.
I’m tired of living.
Save me…because I’m not going to save myself.
I’m just an average teen with an unusual problem. I have the heart of an caveman. Sometimes I sit still hold my breathe just to see if my heart is beating most of the time its seems like its not. I could watch someone get hit by a car and just stand there and laugh. My soul is so dark that the only emotion joy when others get hurt. I think of killing myself everyday. I look for suicide methods and when i look it over i smile and say that’s a good way to die. I would kill myself but i have no opportunity […]
How on earth could I be fair that a 17 year old girl who is doing her trial HSC exams get pregnant, that’s not the unfair part, the unfair part is that she was so happy she realised that this child would be her reason to live, this child could save her, she was so happy, she was so ready, she knew she would probably be a single mother, but that was ok, she had support, she wanted to keep it, but no, she miscarried, she was so distraught that her depression became worse than ever, she began a month long bender, during which she […]
I’ve struggled with severe depression for 6 years now. I have been hospitalized twice for suicidal thoughts and close attempts. I have been a self harmer for 4 of these 6 years.  I’ve tried all the medications, I’ve tried all the therapy, I’ve tried everything. nothing significant happened in my life to make me feel this way, its just the way I am. chemical imbalance bullshit. my close family is aware of my depression, yet they don’t know that I struggle every single day just to wake up and get myself out of bed. They don’t know that I’m failing college and close to dropping out. I’ve lost my […]
Tonight was the night i felt i needed someone there.
I usually love being on my own and never felt alone,
but tonight has been different…
I would love a boyfriend, but i wouldnt want them to
have to go through my problems and mood swings.
Would be very unfair on them, so maybe being single
is the decision for now?!
The question is: is suicide the way out or the way in? Love this quote. What do y’all think?
Hey.
This is my first entry. I’ve never really been good with describing my pain or how I feel. So, bare with me, okay? I live in Montreal, Canada. My parents aren’t married and they have four kids, myself included. This has a lot to do in my life so it’s important that you note this.
I began to feel depressed when I was ten. My older sister, Veronica, was the main reason to my bullying. She always pushed me around and made me feel like shit. You might say that everyone feels like this at one point, right? Possibly. But what made this worst was that […]
There is just simply no joy left in my life.
I’ve been in therapy a few times. And I eventually do see improvement, but it takes years of work; painful work. And it’s expensive, it sucks to throw a lot of time and effort and money into this just get up to a baseline where I can function.
I have cycled back to hopelessness, despair and a deep depression again. I think this is the worst yet. Added to my black mood are some financial hardships that are becoming overwhelming. We can’t register the cars, our health insurance has lapsed. My husbands’ income is commission only and […]
Every thing is getting on top of me. I have been “clinically depressed” since i was 15 but these days I wonder if i have other things going on. I just make mistake after mistake and its made my life very hard. I then feel bad for thinking my life is hard when i am no doubt luckier than billions of people and animals in the world. My life is hard in terms of feelings of worthlessness, lonliness, panic, self hatred and guilt. I loath myself and then even more for being so inward facing and seemingly selfish. I am very manipulative.
I have made so […]
i’m not sure how this works but ill share with you that I recently tried to commit suicide and i almost died and i was in the hosppital for about a week and then put into a msntal home and no one gave a fucking shit so i moved away from them all and no one misses me and i should of died because it eould of made no difference and i hate the world bye