HAVING A BATTLE BETWEEN MY MIND AND DEPRESSION
There’s no way to describe my depression, hurt, rage, and emotional pain. So many people have hurt me, turned me away, and just treated me like shit. I can’t fucking take this anymore!
I don’t care who the fuck gets traumatized as they witness my death in a busy mall or airport. I WANT THEM TO BE TRAUMATIZED. Fuck you, society! I hate this lousy, Godforsaken planet, and everyday, I hope that an asteroid or nuclear war wipes it the fuck out!
I also don’t care who the fuck misses me. They won’t be my fucking problem anymore. People don’t give half a shit about me, so […]
So…Hi
I’ve had some big and stressful issues happen lately in my family, and I’ve completely blocked myself from everyone so really I don’t have anyone to talk it and I’ve been diagnosed with depression and bad anxiety. I thought I could rely on my friends to support me, but instead they just said “Sorry” for forcing me to tell them what’s wrong and never spoke about it again. I went to a school counsellor because I didn’t want my mum knowing I was like this because she would just blame me and say that I was being dramatic. Anyways, they gave up on me, so once […]
So of course just like the rest of us on this site i’m pretty suicidal. and by pretty i mean really suicidal. so naturally when i found a girl that makes me happy it was like god had decided to let up a little bit. a few months go by and all is well until recently. things are falling apart and im freaking out because without her i know i’ll try something again. i cant let the tiny bit of happiness ive found get away from me. And yet she causes me so much pain too… and her knowing about my depression is hurting her […]
So my depression started when i was bullied severely in middle school and summer camp, people really don’t know how much this messes up a person. I became introverted and started thinking of my own death constantly at a young age , to the people that say it gets better i just have to laugh. Because now that I am older I found out that I am diagnosed with schizophrenia, and not to mention I am a 30 year old unsuccessful virgin that also has erectile dysfunction. It seems that God is just laughing at me just like the builles did when I was a […]
before , I would always say that I was bored doing something from time to time .looking back from now I realize that I diddnt know a thing about being bored.now in my current life I am always bored…its kind of difficut to explain. I am emotionally numb except for those weird moments where I feel sadness.sometimes I feel so sad that I want to cry but I cant. I cant cry, most of my laughter is false and other emotions just arent there.without my emotions ,I am just a soulless body and that is why my current life is so damn […]
I’m slipping back into depression. For the first time in months I deliberately took a razor to skin and edged it in. The familiar slice and twinge offered a precious moment free of the past that haunts me. It felt so GOOD. So tremendously good. My wrist is aching for a gash right now, but I can’t. My wrists are clean. Under my clothes isn’t so pure. It’s the only thing that offers freedom from pain, and I can only imagine that deeper cuts and a tub of warm water would offer all the more bliss. I can’t. I can’t kill myself, can’t and won’t. […]
I’ve been depressed for the past three years. It’s changed me on the inside, and you could almost say that I’ve developed, maybe grown for three years. But it’s odd, and I feel like as if most of my depression is from myself. This post is basically a boring recollection on how my depression has progressed, but hey I feel like posting here. I appreciated this website the moment I set eyes on it. I just don’t know how to sort myself out, and there are a lot of things that are difficult to express with words. I’m starting to get anxiety attacks because of […]
just venting again.. anyways.. so I just recently broke up w my gf.. it wasn’t that long of a relationship.. but it was love, and something i haven’t felt in like.. more than 5 years..
of course i fucked it up.. cuz i went all psycho on her like i did all of my ex gf’s who of course dumped me because of the same reason.. so here I am.. always caught up in my negativity.. and because of it I haven’t even finished school yet..
I look at all my other friends and my sister’s boyfriend.. they’ve got jobs, friends, and gf’s.. i can barely […]
Has anyone ever kept years worth of emotion bottled up to the point where you’re afraid to release it anymore? to the point that you feel every ounce of rage you can muster suddenly flare whenever the slightest thing irritates you?
This is my third post. It’s been a couple weeks since my last and I’ve gotten a bit better; my first two posts would’ve persuaded any psychiatrist I was ready and willing to commit suicide. I’ve gotten better. Things have started looking up a bit. But that pain still lingers. And with it, an anger I can’t even begin to describe. All my life I’ve […]
People say it’s life, and that whatever life throws at you, take it with ease. But then, they freak out when things do not go their way. I’m refering to my mum here, and others I have known, do the exact same thing, and it bothers me to no end. I mean, I’m not perfect, not perfect at all, but when life throws me curve balls, I try to take it. I won’t always say that I do well, but I try.
Another thing I’d like to mention is love and relationships here. I have seen the way my mum and dad treat each other. […]
The title sums this up very well “Fucked UP” that is how I see my self and how my family and others view me a lot of the time, but we will get to that later. So im new to the site and just out of luck today before I made my final choice I decided to post a small post on here. For both advice and to see what others think. Im a 17 year old male who is: failing school (for two main reasons: one im lazy and two I view myself as stupid or dumb) I also have no job, no car, […]
Depression.
Just the word alone make the average person want to look the other way.
But with so many people experiencing depression or a other mental illness. The issue is all around us. So why are mental health issues still a taboo..?
Perhaps the most scary thing about a mental health problem is the fact that it is not external. There is no rash, cough or cold to indicate illness. Just a quiet hijacking of the mind.
so.. tomorrow I’m turning 28.. I guess this is like journalling to me.. with the hopes someone out there actually gives a shit..
but I’ve had a long story with depression and stuff.. and I think I’m finally coming around the bend.. kids.. take note.. I just recently broke up w my gf.. I went fkin psycho on her like most of my ex girlfriends.. and it was going so good and she was so nice.. very beautiful.. and we both liked to hang out and party and drink.. she was pretty much the perfect companion.. well good enough for now.. and I fucked it all […]
I’m 18 years old and I feel trapped in my life. Every single day since I can remember, I’ve woken up miserable and hating myself. It started when I was 4 years old and my parents got divorced. My dad got married a few months later and I lost almost all contact with him aside from our three hour visits each month, which are forced and I dread going to. I grew up living in an apartment complex and my family was in a horrible financial situation. My mom would yell and complain and take out her depression on me and my siblings every day of every year. She and […]
I was watching T.V and a commercial for anti-depressants came on…..It said how it could help you…blah, blah, blah but then something made me think; the blatant irony ….” side affects may include nausea, vomiting or the increase of suicidal thoughts in children, young adults and adults”….Sooo this medicine has a risk to make people more suicidal than they are now….. but its supposed to work against depression? Its not guaranteed to work but it has a risk to fuck you up in the head even more? On what planet does this make sense? Hell, they might as well give you a gun with a […]
DON’T YOU DARE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJxgrSCZJ1s
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother, father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will […]
My life hasn’t been easy. I lost my family in a car crash when i was 2. I get beat, starved and sexually assauled by my adopted family. I cut and attempted suicide 5 times. My stepdad even uses me for sex. I will get tied down and he gets paid for perverts to come in and use me. Ive moved around so much in my life, the longest ive been somewhere was a month 1/2. Ive tried to tell teachers, cops, parents etc. but no one would beilve me because of my ADHD and being in the psych center as much as i have.
At […]
I think this is the beginning of the end. My 15th birthday was almost a month ago, I wasn’t ever suppose to make it that far. I’m suppose to be dead, I want to be dead. It’s the summer where I live and everyone seems to be having the time of there life, everyone except me. I don’t leave my house, my bed to be more specific. I don’t need to leave the house in order to feel judged, I’m my worse critic. I’m not pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, I’m nothing that anyone wants. I don’t even like myself, let alone love myself. […]