The only heaven there is, is the one you get to experience for a limited amount of time in life, it usually involves someone else in your life, and the whole time you are in this heaven, experiencing the awesomeness of togetherness and nothing in the world matters but you and the other person. During that time you are creating the hell for yourself, because when that heaven is over and that person is gone, all is lost. There is no going back and the memories of laughter freedom and the truest of friendships will forever bring you the most pain and sadness lonesomeness one […]
So, I have a bff (she is a girl) who has been in love with a guy for almost 4 years, but she is too shy and insecure to even go talk to him, and he is very snob and arrogant, so she is afraid of rejection, anyways, this guy has a friend called G. And last year Idk but I felt a connection with G. He is A VERY VERY SWEET guy, and he is very shy too. I tried to approach him many times, and he was always very nice and kind. He used to spend his free time with his friends, and […]
People underestimate how much music means to me. They have no idea that music is the only thing keeping me from a mental institute. Music does so many things for me. It keeps the monsters of the night away, it pushes away all feeling cutting couldn’t. It keeps my anxiety down, and calms me when I need it. It’s the only thing I’m alive for. The depression, the anxiety, the eating disorders, the bipolar, the ADHD, the personality disorders, they’d all be 20 times worse without music.
And trust me when I say I’d be dead by now. Without music, I wouldn’t have that one song […]
For a while now (for as long as I can remember; 2-4 weeks.), I’ve been okay with the fact of dying. Being in the hospital a couple weeks back, I was on blood thinners and I started to bleed. Badly. Like “oh my god, I need a doctor in here!†and they needed to clean my sheets immediately. I bet they always clean sheets immediately, but I’m still saying. And most of the time I felt the liquid drip down onto my chest (my arm was on my chest when it started to bleed), I didn’t moan to my mom to get a nurse. […]
“We’re all lying to the mirror, lying to ourselves.”
I think I hate myself… no wait, I know I hate myself.
I’m just sick of everything. I’m sick of the pressure to try and fit in, to try and have friends, to look good so people talk to me.
I’m sick of being a people pleaser, of hurting other people.
I’m such a f*cking *****.
I wish i could stop thinking straight. I wish I could let go of my obsessions. I wish I could run away and be alone forever. I wish I could slash up every inch of my body. Anything to get away from this f*cked sense of reality I’ve learned […]
Hello, ladies and gents!
First of all, let me introduce myself. My name is Joni. I am 17.
and well, like everyone else here, I’ve battled back and forth with negative thinking.
I was never officially diagnosed, but I have struggled with an eating disorder since middle school. Now, I am much better. I love to eat. I was never actually bad in the first place, but a couple of times I could have passed out. Now I have blood sugar problems, but nothing unfixable!
What I deal with the most is the ocd/anxiety/depression. Though I am healing, I still have many many days where I just feel completely […]
As we are to the world, but I guess you would know that.
Favorite line from my favorite song. But moving forward.
I’ve been plagued with the world’s worse bout of depression I’ve ever felt. Its not that I havn’t felt this way before, but the difference here is that I can’t cry; and something about that seems to be hindering my healing process. Quite frankly though, I’m getting tired. Very tired.
I feel like I’m going insane, and the stillness I’m experiencing is like an inner ring of hell. I’m depressed to a point where there’s NOTHING I want to do, which makes no sense seeing as […]
I can really feel myself shrink when I’m at school, the amount of negative feelings toward myself kind of made me uneasy and it’s not even that even that it’s the amount of time I’ve spent feeling THIS bad about myself from from 6th-10th grade(now) and the amount of anger and emotion that I have I do feel bad about carrying so much of it but it’s like I can’t pinpoint my exact problems with my depression sometimes it feels like it’s the same problems repeating themselves and it’s hard to feel good about myself and say that it’ll be alright because after so much […]
I’m bipolar II.
That’s like a bipolar I without the happies.
The fellow that I thought was one of my last friends always told me that if I needed help, I should not run away again, but call him.
I did. Â I did not tell him that I had gotten much much sicker in the head. Â I’d been hearing voices for a while and didn’t notice until now. Â I was getting help from my doctor, but I wasn’t sure how far it would go. Â Hospitalization? Â I had no idea.
I was going to the hospital the next week, so I wanted to line things up with the fellow. […]
I
this all actually started a long time ago , in my first grade they were lots of kids who hated me for no reason they called me names they were spitting on me and once almost hit me but i ran away.
it was like that for a long time and since the 6TH grade i started cutting they stopped bulling but i started cutting i was in a depression  i felt lonely like nobody loves me.
everynight i cry myself to sleep
now im in 8TH grade i […]
My friends don’t care about me. I don’t even know if they’re my friends. I’ve been crying all month and there’s this pain on my chest. They never bother to ask, they never comfort me. I have no one. My family does not care, they have been the reason for my depression. I have no one to talk to. No one has bothered asking if I’m gonna be fine. It’s always ”are you okay?” I say YEA. and that’s it. THAT’S THE END OF IT. Do they really care? I’ve been so down lately. I have no one, and it’s making me even more sad. […]
I’m not even sure how to do all this, I haven’t taken the time to read through everything. I just need to get this out. Now.
I think too much, way too much. I’m a 40 year old female who has thought about dieing since I was a teenager. I guess I’ve always been scared to live. I was bullied horribly in school. I never felt like I was good enough for my parents… But all of that is more than 2 decades in the past. Maybe that is what started my depression. I can’t even remember not being depressed. Now though, I’m on medication that […]
I wanted to talk about a couple of things today, one being coping strategies the other being about myself.
Starting with coping strategies; for years I have been told about trying various different methods to help me through depressive states, even how to cope in different ways other than cutting. Things like exercise, music, writing/diaries; stop me when it sounds familiar. I have tried all of those, and although some might have worked a couple of times, they were not long term strategies I could use and were often very useless.
Recently I stumbled upon origami, I have never really  been interested and for some reason now […]
Hi everyone.
In me, we have that rare case when suicide is considered on purely rational grounds, without being affected by depression, any sort of life problem, nor personal relations’ tragedy. I came in here to share how it is so and to look for an rational advice about whether my conclusions are correct, and in (unlikely) case they are not, – then why it would be so (in detail), and what correct conlusions would be.
The title i gave to this message – “What for?” – is a rhetorical (for me, nowadays) question about life. What for do i have to keep living? What for do […]
I woke up this morning, crying after a nightmare where my fiance was murdered. I wish I didn’t have to get out of bed.
Last night, after I published that post saying that my boyfriend said he’d take care of me in my time of need….he confessed something to me: that he has been suicidal on and off since he was ten, and that he really needed to burn himself (his form of self-harm). I ended up getting pissed off that he was pulling this on a day(night) where I needed him more than usual.
Today, with a few bumps in the road, I tried my best […]
i am broken inside and out…….. i try to be happy but no matter how much i try i can’t seem to be happy i am always in pain and misery. i sit in the corner waiting for someone to save me and bring me to life …… to make me happy again and play with me …. but no one seems to want to play with a broken and used doll who has been torn and hurt so many times! so i just wait and wait and the days go by and no ones seems to want to help… no one seems to […]
On this website I have enjoyed reading what so many of you bravely share. Frankly, many of you seem smarter than the folks that I encounter in real life. You are deep thinkers, well read and probably smarter than me. I’m afraid to ask anyone in the real world. But I’m curious about what you think.
So, here goes: does the World3 simulator seem realistic in it’s forecast of trends? Sometimes I wonder if World3 explains our depression (maybe deep down we […]
Hello, I’ve been lurking around this site for quite awhile now. Obsessively reading every post. I know I spelled serotonin in my username wrong, unfortunate really. Anyways, it’s 4:43 am where I live and I can’t sleep so I decided to post my experience with suicide attempts. I am not good with dates so it will be a unspecific measurement like a year ago or in January. I will be going into specific suicide techniques so…spoiler alert.
When I was young everything was easy for me. Sports, I was a natural, school was easy never had […]
i’ve just taken 10 aleves and i’m finishing up my note before i take any more. hopefully tonight will work