Im so done. i cant do it any more.
I cant take all the sadness and the depression.
All the loneliness and disappointment.
Im tired of being the kid who gets laughed at.
Im sick of being nothing but a joke.
I just want to give up. Im ready to give up.
But im still scared.
I hate my life.
i just cant any more.
I have decided to end it all. Almost a year and a half ago my youngest son cut me out of his life because his girlfriend didnt like the choices I made about my business. They wont talk to me nor will they allow me to see my grandchildren. They have always been close to me til now. They have lived next door to us for over 5 years until this conflict. My grandson is only 7 so untill the estrangement he always was next door. I now have a grand daughter that I dont even know or would even recongnize if I did see […]
I stumbled upon the Project while looking for ways to make the End look like it wasn’t planned. Â It’s only made me more sad to see that there are so many people that feel similar to me. Â It’s beautiful though, to see so many likeminded folks listening, and offering support to those that can’t find it in the real world. Â I’m thankful the trolls haven’t embedded themselves yet.
I’m 30 in June, which makes me old in my mind. Â My 20’s have come and gone, leaving only confusion, amazement, and disappointment. Â I’m more successful now than I once thought I would be, but nowhere near where […]
It’s easy for me to give it and think that the world works against me. I’ve had 19 years of suffering in silence, . Day after day of constant disappointment, negative feedback, anxiety, confusion, and isolation. These things have all contributed to my unhealthy belief system still deeply ingrained in my mind.Â
No I’m not retarted, in fact, over the years I’ve realized I’m quite intelligent. I just feel the world a whole lot more intensely, so much that it hurts, feelings are so strong that they’re harder to change, imagine being x10 times more sensitive to everything that goes on. I easily absorb peoples energy, My […]
I don’t know why I feel this way. I use to be a mellow, laid back person. I worked hard, but only if the benefits outweighed the costs. I graduated high school, got into a university. I did everything I was told to do and everything that was expected of me. My whole purpose had been drilled into me to get to college. Never anything else. Now I have a job and attend classes. No one even looks this way now. As long as I continue to work and take classes I am ignored. Until they want something of course. My father, does not even […]
no matter how hard i try to succeed i ALWAYS fail. I revise solidly then when the grades come up? FAIL making me slip into suicide thoughts deeper…what if i just ended my life..how easy would it be ? death…although they say death is easy..that seems a pretty good way to go in contrast to this tough life- never ending cycle of hardwork and disappointment compared to being forever asleep..no pain..no tears.
Since when did I start drinking every single night to the point of oblivion. And since when was not getting to that point a disappointment.
I am unhappily tipsy.
Hooray for success! I’m married! I own my own home! We have a backyard! We actually have money in our savings account!
Like that solves anything I mean really. I’m still alone tonight. I’m still sad and angry and crying tonight.
Don’t lie to me telling me I’m pretty, don’t tell me it’s gonna be okay. The only thing stopping me from it is how I’m gonna do it. But don’t mind me. I know you don’t care. Because every time I tried to reach out and talk you shut me down and told me to stop talking about this shit. I apologize. Soon you won’t have to worry about this. 15 years, I made it 15 years, alone, abandoned and rejected. Nothing but a disappointment. I don’t belong anywhere. I don’t know what love feels like. I don’t know what it’s like to be wanted. […]
I don’t even know why I’m writing this, I guess because I have nothing else to do. I’m almost 22, graduating from a community college this semester, jobless, and still living with my parents. I just feel fucking pointless though.
I say graduating, but I know that’s only if I can actually make it through these 2 classes I’m taking. I can’t study, I never want to, all I want to do is just waste my life away on video games, so I don’t have to think about my current life. I’m still living at my parents house, and not to brag but they are decently […]
I don’t know what’s going on in my life. I feel so emotionally dead. Occassionally I feel small flickers of happiness, but it feels weird and stale…it doesn’t seem real. The only feelings I experience are sadness, disappointment, and anger. But most of the time I’m just existing, dull and monotonous. And what’s messed up is that I know that there’s really nothing going on that should make me feel this way. My parents are still together, I make good grades, I have plenty of friends, I have plenty of talents. It just feels like nothing matters. It’s all going to go away anyways. I’m […]
How can everything hurt so much while at the same time I feel so numb?
I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll be gone soon (not soon enough, but whatever).
I’ve come to terms that I’m a failure, that I have no purpose, no future, no anything.
I’ve accepted all that.
I’m a disappointment to everyone, not even my parents believe in me anymore. Thanks for that.
My dad asked me today : “When you think of your future, what colour do you see?” I wanted to scream “BLACK, FUCKING BLACK, THE MOST DARK BLACK YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE!” But I didn’t. I got away from the question, […]
Someone’s misplaced affection has made my day.
An unknown number’s text wished me good morning and later added that I was missed. How wonderful it feels to be missed even if it was just for a second before I realized it’s a text sent to my phone by accident. It can’t really be for me. It’s like when u see someone waving at you and u wave back only to realized they were waving at someone else. Oh the disappointment and how it melts off the smile on your face.
I hate to think someone was waiting for a text wishing them good morning […]
Finals time.
At the beggining of the semester I thought “this semester will be different, I will be able to focus, I will be able to pass the subjects.”
A few months later, and nothing changed. It’s still the same old shit. I haven’t found the strenght to change.
4/5 exams are done. 3 of which I didn’t pass (one of them I didn’t even finish the exam, left halfway through it). My last grade is out. But I am too afraid to go check it. I know I have failed it. But to see that I in fact did, will throw me down for sure. I know […]
A black whole that sucks all of my energy, like a dark tunel, however there is no sign of any bright light at the end of it.
– That’s how I have been feeling for the past couple years.
Last year was the worst year of my life. My mom was diagnosed with cancer. I had never seen so much pain in my life, so much darkness. Even though I saw the light too, the strenght of one’s fight, all started being consumed by the darkness. Thankfully, everything is okey now, my mom has fully recovered. However, I feel like it just all hit me. I am […]
Was anyone else HOPING the world would end in Dec? I guess disappointment abounds. I’ve been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for over twenty years now without ever seeking professional help. I try to shun the outside world as much as possible because I thought that it would be easier than the loss and pain that come from relationships with people, but I’m not sure that lonliness is something that’s any easier to live with. I think about killing myself every day, but it’s been 13 years since my second failed attempt. Part of me still wants to believe that there’s a reason I’m […]
I don’t exactly know how I came across this website. Maybe it’s because I’m considering suicide. Maybe because I’m tired of living. I’m tired of everything that is happening around me. I’m tired of disappointing the people close to me. I’m tired of hurting people. I’m tired of getting hurt. I’m tired of crying. And most importantly, I’m tired of myself.
I may be young to be considering committing suicide but that’s all I’ve been thinking about for the past few days. I’m tired of hurting the people I love. I’d rather be hurt than them. I want all the pain to come to me, all […]
It’s hard to admit there is something wrong. It’s hard trying to put all my emotions into words. It’s frustrating that I don’t truly understand what’s wrong with me, therefore it is difficult for others to understand. I lost the respect for my mother when I was in seventh grade. Freshman year my father hit me and choked me and my mother just watched. I stopped talking to my family completely because I knew they didn’t wanna hear what I wanted to say. I am a junior in high school now and I had to switch schools this past year. Have you ever felt surrounded […]
I was reallyhoping it would all be over and I wouldn’t actually hafta act. Looks like that plan’s a bust. back to my alphabetic list. Depression is overwhelming. 30 years is ENUF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last day at work for the year today.
I don’t want to seem like I’m obsessed with myself, but I probably am. I feel so alone and unloved. No matter where I am or who I’m with I’m always alone.
I feel unsafe. I’m listening to Breathe Me by Sia and it makes me want to cry. But I can’t cry.
I keep playing death over and over in my mind on an endless loop like a song I can’t get out of my head, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Not yet. The councillor asked me the other day if I actually want to die, […]
I lay awake at night. Restless. Another sleepless night. The voices spin me around like one of those carnival rides we used to love so much. Out of control. Disoriented. Vertigo.
Heartless. *****. Worthless.
Give me a chance! Forever Alone.
Sing better. Draw better. Play better.
I’ll try harder! A disappointment.
Not pretty enough. Not smart enough. Not kind enough.
I’ll be better! Never good enough.
Hated. Unloved. Pathetic.
Give me a chance! Not wanted.
STOP!
But the voices in my head don’t stop… they never stop. Of course these voices aren’t just in my head.
No wonder I don’t sleep.
I ask you to love me, protect me. This is your job isn’t it? Instead you […]
Please log in to report posts