From 3rd – 5th grade I was that sweet and shy little innocent girl but then when 6th grade came I turned into a tougher girl and still am. I hate the new me, I hate my life, I hate everything! I just want to go back to the sweet and shy little innocent girl I was years ago. Ever since my dog, Lillie, died the day after my birthday in February this year I have become so depressed. She was like a dog version of me. I loved her. But then God decided to take her away from me by making her […]
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Dogs
25 years ago I committed a federal felony. I stole money from the bank I worked at. The details don’t really matter-I confessed to it because my conscience got to me & returned the money. Even though I did my time & paid my fines, I ruined my life. It in reality is a life sentence. Not even the POTUS has the authority to expunge the record after all these years. I managed to survive through the years but this economy has been impossible. I had been doing well: had my own home, a rental property & a […]
I havent been on here in a long time!!! i feel like im missing my family on here! so i have had some horrible stuff happening and i have reached my limits so i cut myself. i had earlier written a post on how to start and ex out the pain of cutting but now i understand. i cant go a day without thinking about cutting and/or cutting. i just feel like i need it. it sucks to look down at my hands and wrists and see the scars. I always blame it on the dogs when someone asks. they are so naive. i honestly […]
I’ve been suicidal for so many years, I’m pretty much not even hiding it, yet nobody fucking care, I can tell you that. When I first decided I wanted to end with life, I was like “ok I’m done with life, maybe I can just have fun before I do”, that resumed playing video games day and night, and staying locked up in my bedroom at least I was having fun. Only getting out at night to eat when I know my parents are asleep. This dragged on and on always like “let’s do that one more day”. I live on the day by day […]
I feel like a coward but I have to die as I cannot face the future and what I have to face. I have decided to end it.
I love my wife.
My parents have been going through a messy divorce. Found out my dad was having an affair but he ended it. there was a trial. my mom wanted a restraining order on my dad so he wouldnt be able to see her or my little brother. she said he was dangerous. he’s not dangerous. i have people who have only known my family for probably two years trying to tell me that i dont know my dad at all and even worse that they do. i do know my dad. he ended the affair, told my mom about it but mom lost her mind. she’s […]
I’m 15 years old. My parents are divorced and have been since i was 2. My dad cheated on my mom with my now step mom. My mom remarried when i was 14. Ever since i was about 5 and started gymnastics, my step mom didn’t like me. She never actually told me that, but she hit me over and over so i could tell. She’s hit me with her fist, a book, a chair, and a belt.She has even threatened to stab me with a knife.
My stepdad sexually abused me multiple times around age 8. The nights i stayed at my moms house and was […]
One pearly day in early May
I walked upon the sand
And saw, say half a mile away,
a man with gun in hand.
A dog was cowering to his will
as slow he sought to creep
Upon a dozen ducks so still
they seemed to be asleep.
When like a streak the dog dashed out,
the ducks flashed up in flight.
The fellow gave a savage shout
and cursed with all his might.
Then as I stood somewhat amazed and gazed with eyes agog,
With bitter rage his gun he raised and blazed and shot the dog.
You know how dogs can yelp with pain;
its blood soaked in the sand,
And yet it crawled to him again,
and tried to […]
Today, I am full of angry thoughts. I just checked the gun. How surreal. It’s there. Several are in this house. Now, I need a bullet. 32mm. I find lots of 22 mm, but don’t think that gun is good enough. I’m crazy writing this. I know this is my thinking, my old thinking & thoughts that need to die. I am a follower of Byron Katie. She is a teacher of “loving what is” and this reality raises itself again & again. www.thework.org
I admit, I missed my medication for 2 days. I took it today and will probably be feeling normal soon. I’m so […]
Put yourself in my shoes and see what you would do.. in all honestly. I’ll take your opinions into account and within 20 days I’ll either be still alive or dead.
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Ok.. My name is Ollie and the only thing good in my life is my beloved grandma. she lives out in the country with 16 dogs and kennels she has alot of land and we love each other so much. I go out once a week on a saturday when i’m not at school (i’m 13) and occasionaly dont go becuase shes showing but if its local i go with her. The bad things.. I’m […]
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