Well, the title explains it all. All is left is to fix a date to suicide. I can’t seem to find the courage because I have to leave my family behind. All I’m worried about is what if I survived? What if I’m there lying on the bed and looking at my parents looking at me with full of disappointment. I gotta make it successful. I can’t fail this time. This has to be done. I can’t wait to end the misery, but I just don’t know when. Now it does, because I’m gonna do it all alone, and nobody knows about it. I […]
i cant sleep anymore thats why i’m up right now, its really late where i am but i just cant sleep i never can for ages and i try i’ve tried everything, i don’t know what to do because even if i do sleep i have messed up dreams, and i hate staying up alone because when everyone else in the house is dead to the world and i can hear them sleeping i feel more alone and depressed than ever.
Hey guys,I haven’t really been this open about my problems,but I feel like I need to find emotional support.Here’s what’s going on:First of all,there was this guy that I really cared about.We dated a little over a month.When we first talked,I actually thought that he was such a good guy when I didn’t even know that it was an act.Anyway,around the last part of the month,he didn’t see me for two whole weeks when he usually stops by every week.He told me one night that he was done looking for someone because he found me.So,I gave him the benefit of a doubt that he was […]
There’s too much in my head. I have too many thoughts too many opinions. I just want it all to go away. I can barely tell my dreams from reality anymore so I stopped sleeping. I’ve attempted suicide 3 times. I’ve passed out during two of them and later woke to survive it. When I was out I just remembered feeling nothing. It was peaceful and quiet. The only reason I feel I haven’t succeeded is because I would hate to leave any sort of burden on someone. I want to go, I want to leave it all behind but if my passing causes someone else to […]
This is such a weird, yet brilliant website. A place to explore each others internal thoughts, without having to know each other’s name. Reading each post here, I know more about some of these normally unheard people than the people who spend every day with them. Maybe some of the users of this website get annoyed by the use of this website by teenagers, sadly like myself. Anyone who has been through teenage years will blame it on hormones. “Everyone feels the same at your age” “This is normal” “Everyone goes through hard times in their teens” and I’m left feeling no better than I […]
ive made myself a tumblr account where Ill post poems n pictures. Same name as I’ve got here. N yes I’ll still put them here first. Speaking of which.
I saw you yesterday
You were sitting on the bench in an outdoor mall
And suddenly, all the feelings I had for you
Rushed to my head. I loved them all.
I’m sorry about what happened
The things I said wrong
And I understand
If you don’t want anything to do with me at all
But I thought you should know
That though it didn’t show
I haven’t forgotten you
You’ve been in my dreams since the […]
am I supposed to keep going:
– when it feels like my drive to desire is broken (desire being the root of action) ?
– when my ego’s been getting weaker for the past 5+ years ?
– when my mind cannot generate meaningful goals etc like it used to ?
I wanted to become a psychologist when I started going to college (sept. 06) .. it was my only and meaningful goal, my door into the future
I got to experience mental abuse & other bad things in an environment I started to hate .. unfortunately, I had no other realistic option than […]
~The Raven~
Dedictated To Storm
(Espen Andersen – Strid)
RIP
The Angelic Process – Million Year Summer
There is a Raven caged within my breast,
But what his name, there is no breast shall know
Save mine, nor what it is that drives him so,
upward & downward, in relentless quest —
That silent rage, baffled but unsuppressed, […]
I felt numb yesterday. Now, I feel shitty, tired, and more useless than ever. I’m going to join the army, get shot or blown up and then that’s it. How will I get through high school though…Â
Sadness creeps into me, cold chills and sweat cover my body. I feel lonely, Jasmine. I love her so much, I don’t want to live without her. People said I have the symptoms of OCD. Possibly, but still, these feelings are as real as a blade cutting into me. (I ain’t a cutter)Â
 I wish she would tell me she wants to take back breaking up with me. She said […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh3Z1_08Ess
Please understand
This isn’t just goodbye
This is I can’t stand you
This is where the road crashed into the ocean
It rises all around me
And now we’re barely breathing
A thousand faces we’ll choose to ignore
Curse my enemies forever
Let’s slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful
This desperation leaves me overjoyed
With fading lights that lead us past the lives that we destroy
I listen to you cry
A cry for less attention
But both my hands are tied
And I’m pushed into the deep end
I listen to you talk but talk is cheap
And my mouth is filled with […]
to die. So I’m pretty sure I’m done I am very serious but can’t become 100% certain. I can’t function around people, I have been deeply depressed for around 7 years, My motivation in life is to hurt those who hurt me nothing more and nothing less. I have no real goals or dreams in life, I have been on alot of medication, tried everything, have no reason to live and am almost sure I am incapable of love or happiness or even being content. I don’t want to live in any society and I wont do anything I don’t want to. I don’t want […]
May 31, 2012
9:30 p.m
I feel nothing. I feel useless, dull, and dead. I want to die. I’ve thought of dying. I need help. I NEED HELP! I have so much work to do I feel like I’m drowning, I feel empty. I feel like I have no emotions, I feel lifeless, that my life has no meaning. Nobody understands, at least I don’t think so. They all say it will get better or to suck it up. I can’t suck it up; my body and mind are betraying me! I know intellectually that I need to do things but then my mind […]
We’re growing apart.
I feel trapped.
I hate talking about it but i know i should.
Can’t wait to cut, it was the only thing that got me through today.
I wish i could live inside my dreams, inside my head.
Then i would be happy.
Fuck this life.
Want to see my blood, because i don’t feel the pain. Alcohol.
Want to have fun.
When will i feel any better?
I want to die.
I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person…
thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!
I often feel like I belong to another planet, universe, or perhaps another ‘spiritual’ plane, dimension,..something like that.
my super-vivid imagination’s world / universe is often a HUNDRED times much more lively, interesting, exciting, thrilling, and challenging than this apparently “Law and Order, all about money/profits and status” shallow, mundane, meaningless real world !
it’s my curse.
fuck my life..
get the hell me out of this fucking Matrix , please , somebody!
there should be an OPTION to get the fuck […]
Only in my dreams
Do you hear my screams
And you realize what I feel
And only in my dreams can you finally allow me to heal.
I am fully aware that I need help but there is nothing that helps. I have tried hospitialization, every type of therapy, had around 15 therapists, been on 20 different meds, tried meditation, talking. I’ve tried it all and nothing helped. I am not able to feel joy or love, I am always deeply depressed for 7 years. I cannot function around people and haven’t had contact with anybody except my family for 6 months. I get paranoid at night and can’t sleep. I have an unknown chronically painful stomach problem that even though I have had every medical test known to man twice, […]
The pressure is building, and I am about to fucking explode, but I know that if I cut then I’ll be alright even just for a little bit while I stain my arm red. I want to die. But if death would bring me peace then I don’t deserve it. I can’t feel anymore. Does this make sense? I have gone completely numb. All i have is the memories of the actual emotions. but it’s almost as if they are scratching the surface, and maybe if I cut they’ll come seeping out so i can feel again.
Why am I so alone. I feel so empty. […]
Dont know what this day will take me ,Dont know if ill see that sunlight with the newyork lights for another day. After midnight everything is up to your dreams but what if the dream visions me not being able to sleep nor see. Maybe ill sit by the bridge waiting for my world to ended or maybe ill think of ending it standin on the edge prepare to die ..
I was depressed for the past few years (5 years) because of feelings of inadequacy and immense pressure from school. All that was amplified by the fact I never attracted the interest of girls and every girl i ever liked never cared about me that way and slowly friends stopped talking to me.
But everything stopped when my mother finally allowed me to gym. I suddenly received an increased efficiency when it came to my studies which was a major source of pain for me.
Slowly my pain started to fade, I stopped having my strange suicidal dreams of scenarios involving how she never cared […]
i dont know how to explainn it but i feel empty inside… its like ive given up on everything, my hopes, my will, and dreams…. ive completely frozen over, i dont show any emotion anymore and if i do, its all forced, it’s fake, i cant take it anymore…. i thought maybe its because i didnt feel anything about my friend who died recently or maybe ive just gotten use to death being apart of my life… idk anymore but this thing, this depression has changed me, each and every time i wake up i seem to be getting deeper into the darkness and soon […]