my friend took his own life on march 18, 2013. he gambled with his own life as he spun the cylinder to his prized .45 revolver, looked dead into his best friend’s eyes and pulled the trigger… he had a 1 in 6 chance of death and he took that- he left no warnings before hand… i dont think he thought it would go off… Â but it did… and now he’s gone…….. he thought he had no one but his best friend- and even then, he knew he was gonna move in with his girlfriend and Robert would be homeless and living in his […]
Tag:
Dreams
I’ve given up all of my hopes, all of my dreams and all of my love. All I wanted was a friend to be there for me and stand up for me…someone to care. But now I only want one thing.
And I have nothing left to lose.
There’s nothing to do, There’s nothing to say
Just lay down and go slowly away
All of my dreams, All of my fears
None of it matters, none of its real
Soon this will be over
Soon there will be no more reason to cry
Soon this will be over
Soon there will be a reason to cry
I wasn’t born this way
I never wanted to hate
They turned me into this
Now its too late
I’m sick of it all!! The world leaders and the stupidity, the difficulty dealing with my own stupidity and my past. I love my children; I do and people care for me but they care more about me than I do. I’m jealous of all those who have died already however they died. I have lost those closest to me except for my girls who are probably the only reason I wake up. I cry all the time. I’m stressed and have thought of more ways to die than the Mayan long count calender has days! I don’t want to die because i BELIEVE life […]
Last night I had the strangest dream I’ve ever known before
I dreamed that all the world agreed to put an end to war
I dreamed I saw a mighty room, the room was filled with men
And the papers they were signing said they’d never fight again
And when the papers were all signed, and a million copies made
They all shook hands and bowed their heads and grateful prayers were prayed
And the people in the streets below were dancing round and round
While swords and guns and uniforms lay scattered on the ground
Last night I had the strangest dream I’ve ever known before
The drive and the will have already been established. The only thing that remains now is to write out the truth and buy a gun. As soon as I get a place of my own, I can basically consider the both of those done and done. Funny… I never thought I would come back to this point, but never say “never,” I guess? To have dreams and ambitions wasn’t enough, I guess. At any rate, it’s good that I finally found out why I’ve been alone so long. The answer was right in front of me. Why now? Why couldn’t it have been sooner?
I wish I lived in a world […]
Came into the world bright and perfect
Never expected something so terrifying
Something so hectic
Full of death and crying
I wasn’t scared or sad
I thought I was saved and they weren’t lying
I was sitting in my perfect world, too blind to see the bad
Then here comes the giant, my hands he was tying
I was going out of my mind, I thought I was going mad
Then here comes the death, here comes the crying
My head was pounding as I thought, “Where is my dad?”
The giant laughed, whispering “His love for you is dying”
My hands were bonded by duct tape, losing the strength I had
My feet were stuck together, I […]
I feel like I need thicker skin because I’ve been feeling sensitive lately maybe it’s because I’ve been thinking too much. I feel like the little things bother me  for example I don’t feel beautiful at all even though some people may find me beautiful I feel like they just say that to be nice or make me feel good but I don’t feel like I deserve it because I don’t think I’m good enough to have good things there’s girls that seem to have it all they have:good looks, brains,they believe in themselves,chase their dreams,and most of all they don’t let people’s comments get […]
I keep running
running away from my problems, running toward my goals,
running to anywhere, everywhere as long as it’s not here.
I should take a moment to look at where I am at, but there’s no time.
I have to keep running.
I’m chasing and being chased.
The past is on my heels as I try to keep up with the future, the present.
But now always changes and quickly becomes the past just as I realized it is the future – it was the future.
Run.
I run towards my dreams, aspirations, […]
stop all of the dreams,
and start all the nightmares,
Listen, to them scream.
but nothing is there,
your all I’ve got,
your my only hope.
but now even you
seem to be cutting the rope.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it’s a fucking mess
and there’s no escape.
my wrists are red.
someone save me.
drowning in this sea,
this sea of blood.
death stole innocence,
with the bang of a gun!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
with every breath you take,
you want to stop it all.
the blade is your friend,
it helps you when you fall.
love is a joke,
your only love is rope,
it made you a […]
Sometimes I wake up, lay in bed and just think I want to die then spend the next couple of hours thinking about how to do so. Sometimes I wake up and feel a little hope. And sometimes I wake up and I can’t help but think of last nights nightmare. My dreams are so uncomfortable and horribly vivid. They’re so vivid that I think about my dreams through out the whole day because they’re so uncomfortably real that I feel like it happened… Anyways throughout the whole day I’m just an emotional roller coaster I’m fine, I’m sad, I’m crazy, I’m hopeful (this is […]
Hello everyone ! I’m doing this project i call ‘Tell me your story’. I did a facebook page & a blogspot. But I need YOUR help to make this work.I want to provide a way for everyone to interact with each other. This is how it works. You tell me your story, I tell everyone else. You could be known or stay on anon. It’s all up to you. What matters is that your story will be heard. People will know that you exist. You will leave a trace that you once existed. You will help other not do the same mistakes you did or […]
This was originally a much longer post.
Until I saw other people getting responses whilst you cunts ignored ME.
Thanks for proving me right. There’s no one who gives a fucking shit about me here, either.
Fucking cunts.
I really don’t know how to start this post, so, pieces can fall where they may.
written by betrayingtheworld
I don’t know whether it’s wanting to be saved and know I’m loved because of somebody, or if I really just want a boyfriend/girlfriend/friend. I don’t know. I feel so confused. And conflicted. I just keep dreaming and needing for.. something. I’m not really sure what of yet. I can’t really decipher my dreams that well you know. Anyways, I just am feeling like I’m craving to be loved, touched, felt, understood by someone who truly cares and wants to know me, and all these things. Like, I have a whole list of things that I would feel if I were with somebody, and a […]
He broke up with me.
The only person that cared about me.
I love him so much, and all he could say that he didn’t feel the same.
I didn’t make him happy and all that kept him to stay was guilt.
I give him my virginity, my dreams, my trust.
He doesn’t even care you see?
1 year and a half what is it to him, nothing, a burden.
Days pass by and all I see is your smile.
“Leave me alone.”
All I can do is watch how you fade away out of my life.
How can I forget everything […]
I am a dreamer, I admit. I am not always realistic. That’s a fact. I followed my dreams. I was never afraid to chase after the crazy ideas in my head. The processes has been painful. I have failed again and again, yet managed to slip by. I watch as my grades hit catastrophic lows and my social life deteriorates. All of my dreams are slipping through my fingers. Why can’t I do what everyone else can? I am intelligent. I am creative. I have endless possibilities. …But that’s all they’ll ever be… possibilities. While I could write a poem that would bring you to […]
“We’re all lying to the mirror, lying to ourselves.”
I grew up in the church. Hell, I should say I was the church. At many of the churches I attended, my five older siblings, my parents, the pastor, and I made up the whole congregation. But that didn’t matter. Because the God I knew and loved was there. He was in my church, he was in my thoughts, he was in my life… but somewhere along the lines, one of us left. Now, it’d be easy to point fingers and say that I left. After all, I’m the human being shaped in iniquity, and He’s the all-knowing God. But me? Why would I leave? […]
Things to be, things that are there, things to keep… They are the things that must exist. Because they stay unaffected by the evils of other things. They are like glass, even when broken, they keep shining. Â They are different for each person. They may not follow standards or fashion, only the person’s soul. So they don’t necessarily have to be material (like dreams). But what is certain is they are always the dearest, cherished ones. We cling onto them, never let go of them, and cry, when we lose them, or when they’re suddenly taken away from us. And even then, when they are […]
I used to be suicidal too. But since 2 months ago, I have undergone a transition in my life. I am alive now. And I am really glad to share my experience to all of you who are in darkness right now.
This post is written with the sole hope to help you all, even just a bit.
Let me tell you what I did to live.
I write diary entries. Stupid, foolish entries. I wrote things which make me happy everyday. And some really useless stuffs also. “Today I drank coffee.” “Today I laughed.” “Today I am healthy.” “Today I played my favourite game.” ..etc. Trust me… […]