I haven’t posted in awhile. Probably no one even noticed. If you did, I’m sorry for not posting. Stupid asshole me for actually thinking someone would care. I think when I last posted I was manic. Ended up in the hospital for that. Don’t believe them when they say they won’t put you in the hospital for cutting. I’m getting too old for this bullshit. So they change my meds and I end up with major depression. I wouldn’t even go to the docs except I want my Klonopin and Ambien. Also, I need them to certify me so I can keep getting my disability […]
Tag:
drinking
im meant to be drinking with a friend tonight and we’re meant to be taking Coke.. As bad as it sounds, I keep thinking of how easy it’ll be for me to od on it considering my heart problem and the alcohol intake. I feel that Overdosing is the only way to stop my pain, I don’t want to leave anyone but I can’t deal with the fact that I feel my heart breaking everyday over things that I couldn’t of avoided. Why should I be punished for loving the wrong human?
where to begin?? well it started 7 years ago when I just left foster care. my life was great I was in high school at the time and I was looking at a bright future. but it went down hill because my feeling of loneliness was getting to me . I felt like I had nobody. my best friend at the time was gone from my life and everyone I thought were friends just shitted on me. I felt ignored. as a teenager dealing with depression and having to develop psychotic depression really really can screw with your mind. my first thought of suicide was […]
Tonight I feel lonelier then ever. I have absolutely no one to spend time with.
I decided to go movies but have ended up drinking alone at an empty bar haha. Fuck I’m lonely
I just want someone who is excited and willing to reach out to me to hang out. I see all my friends leaving hand in hand. Then there’s just me. I have no one.
I like life but I wish I didn’t have to live. That is to say I wish I didn’t need the things necessary to live in order to go on living. If […]
I don’t know what’s going on with me. I’ve been avoiding everyone and one person that’s the hardest to avoid is my boyfriend since he lives 1000+ miles away and looks forward to talking to me everyday. Last night I told him everything that was wrong since I’ve been pushing him away for a few days and he wouldn’t let me get away with it. I told him about my excessive drinking, my smoking cigarettes again (I broke my promise to him), me taking pills, cutting myself and not eating. He tried helping me he was so frustrated and just wanted to do what he […]
I have been depressed most of my life my first suicide was drinking 1lt of disinfectant at 8 years old and countless other poisonings. But recently i have started trying antidepressants but the doses have little effect. I’ve had up to 900g of venlafaxine a day for a few days now with 4g of risperidone with it and if I feel anxious or an attack is coming I can use quetiapine and with weed I am finally feeling better. There’s no confusion, rapid heart rate, sweating nor is there a high. I feel fine til it wears off
Last night I didn’t think I’d get to drink here again after last weeks shananagins. But after Donald Trunpesue debating skills, I convinced them to allow me to have only a 12 pack of cooers light. I usually get extra with it but conceded to there rules because drinking the light stuff is better than not drinking at all. Eh I wish I spent my time drunk better. I spent the last two hours debating with them once again on my right to die. I don’t even know why I waste my breath with them on this issue. They don’t believe that I have s […]
know it sounds contradictory for someone who’s suicidal. I want to clarify that I’m not afraid to die if I’m doing it peacefully but I’m afraid of suffering from health problems.
ok remember last week when I spent the weekend with my dad, drinking vodka and smoking a shit load of weed? I have had dark circles under my eyes ever since. I was wondering if any of yall had the same experience, if so, how long will it clear up? Worried about what’s causing it. I’m afraid I may have hurt my liver or something
Is it normal to still feel sluggish 2 days after a 2 day drinking/pot smoking binge?
by wndozh8er
written by wndozh8er
is been nearly 2 days and I still feel sluggish, like I wanna sleep all day. Ugh still guess I’m detoxing but my health anxiety is coming back. I’m so afraid I did perminate damage.
On how to conquer alcohol addiction. I usually drink about 8 ounces of hard liquor and about four 8% beers. When I don’t drink my body and my heart starts to feel weird and I don’t want to go through withdrawals as it is one the only ones that can be fatal. Someone please give me some help on how I can wean myself away from this liquid devil. I’ve been drinking for about 10 years. Off and and On super heavy but as of late really heavy.
Its been a while. Things have been going better than they normally do for me right now, so I’m really wondering why I feel like things are about to just go to hell. This year’s been pretty shit. I’ve been alone and lonely my whole life, and I’ve finally made some friends to keep that depression at bay – I really do love these people, they make me the happiest I’ve ever been. I guess you could call them the rebellious type, but I don’t exactly know what they’re rebelling against – they drink, do drugs, that kind of thing. Its been good for me […]
On the 4th of July I relapsed. I’ve been struggling with self-harming for almost 6 years and drugs for almost 3. My mom’s been having problems with her boyfriend of 5 years and has been trying to get him out of our lives since he does drugs and only thinks about himself, so on the 4th that was the first time we’ve seen him in a month? So he was trying to act like everything was ok, but he drank a 6 pack and started acting stupid like always, so we went to go drop him off. They argued the whole way… was feeling really […]
I’m about to kill myself. I have a loaded rifle next to me and drinking. I’m kinda scared of the pain and if I don’t succeed. But at the same time I wanna go to a better place. Maybe if I drink more it will take away the fear
I’m such a fucking stupid pill-head alcoholic piece of trash. I wish I never would’ve touched the bottle or drugs when I was growing up, my mine has been warped and I just can’t stop drinking. I drink to numb myself and my feelings and thoughts. All I know is that when I’m going to kill myself I sure as fuck ain’t gonna be sober.
I’m about to turn 64.
I worked hard through my professional life to put my son, daughter and nephew through good schools and university and my wife through law school. In 1995, I started my own business in California.
I had some welcome success, putting aside a comfortable nest egg which I thought would carry me through however much time I had left. I was wrong. All the nest egg did was attract the attention of circling sharks.
Beginning in 2008, I made some business decisions which, over the course of the next five years, would cost me virtually everything. A former partner, my personal attorney and an […]
I just got out of the hospital about a day ago and I find myself here at about 2:15 am sitting in the living room in a some what odd position in quite a significant amount of pain. 6 days ago, after having a rather unproductive and uneventful day, I ended up getting into an argument with my 17 and a half year old son over the fact that I hI have been sober for 3 years and about 5 months or so however back in February when I was tired of being accused of drinking when I wasn’t and being accused of being […]
It is so sad I had to drink two whiskeys and a beer for breakfast in order to get to work this morning. My mood raised for a moment but now I’m just feeling sick and my mood is slowly getting worse than before drinking. I’m also afraid my colleagues noticed I drank.
I hate myself so bad.
life is still as sucky as ever. i’ve become an automaton, just moving through the motions of everyday life without any joy. my parents still drinking. tonight they’re so drunk they’ve already fought. my mom is so drunk she doesn’t know what she is talking about. my dad was in the room, and i heard her say “what if we had another little baby?” she is 51 years old, smokes, drinks, has cancer, and is in no health to have a baby (besides the fact that she can’t because she’s in menopause). my dad is so drunk he responded with something accusing her of wanting […]
I hadn’t properly drank for over three months. It’s not like an achievement, the chance just hadn’t come up recently. I guess it has pros and cons. It’s good that I don’t go out on the lash every night, but then when I do drink I have to make up for the lost time. It’s a bad way of handling it, I mean I could just not drink at all.
But, the thing about drinking is it’s similar to that at feeling I long for to not feel anything at all. You can just lose it all, not have to care about stuff, it’s addicting.
It was just me […]
after my first post i realised that as much as i hate talking about what bothers me, i have to… so here goes… this is the reason why i have lost my way, my happiness and my self..
All through high school my parents fought, as much or maybe more than every married couple does, but after a while my dads drinking had gotten worse by the day, my parents stopped sleeping in the same room, they stopped having conversations ( apart from the usual ‘whose gonna pay the bills’ argument), and we stopped being a family.
When i started university and they assumed i was now […]