Tag:

Drugs

just another person

by Marissa Kresge 7/4/2012

written by Marissa Kresge

Hi. I’m marissa and I’m a drug addict and an achoolic and “suicidal”

I havent always been like this. It started in 6th grade. I had no friends cause my best friend/ only left me for another person. I was all alone. Then 7th grade rolled around and I made a couple new friends and started to drink my worries away. I would rarely talk in school to anyone. When I got home I would alway go home and cry. I cut every night. When 8th grade came I was majorly popular. But it wasn’t my true self that was popular, it was my fake. My […]

7/4/2012 1 comment

My story..

by eatfoodgetfat 7/2/2012

written by eatfoodgetfat

So many things have changed in the past year I donâ€™t know what the hell happened. Yes, I have made some friends now that I probably would have had before now. But.. My old friends.. I kinda miss them. I miss being able to talk to them about anything. They were honestly amazing people. Well, until they all turned into back stabbers. But,before they were that though, I could call them in the middle of the night if I needed anything. I donâ€™t have that now. I have â€œfriends.â€ I even call a few my â€œbest friends,â€ I donâ€™t have the strength nor the trust […]

7/2/2012 2 comments

I’m such a failure that I can’t even succeed in Killing myself… :(

by AmericanBeauty 6/29/2012

written by AmericanBeauty

I have pushed so many people away from my life… I’m so sick of being fake around people… if I’m genuinely not happy with myself I don’t want to be around others nor do I want to bring them down… I just want to be left alone to deal with my own emotion and problems.

Being Adhd and Autistic isn’t easy for me, during my teens I’ve done a lot of drugs as an outlet to help me express myself since so much I felt I was suppressed through society, school, parents…Â even though now I don’t smoke or pop pills anymore I just don’t feel […]

6/29/2012 2 comments

considering drugs…

by schizojinxx123 6/29/2012

written by schizojinxx123

dont know why…i..i just want the voices to stop…heroin…ya know i have it…im just too much of a sissy to try…i did weed last week though and for a while…i acctually felt happy…cant post anything from my dsi(yeah i know babyish but i use it for animation help and internet, getting an itouch soon) cause its an old version of opera….just really pissy and i feel like vying…bipolar….the fmes are getting to me…hah….i guess ill listen to more asking alexandria and keep threatining my “friends” that im gonna kill myself…but they all know i never will….but the day i do theyre gonna be suprised i […]

6/29/2012 0 comment

I Want to be a Zombie

by Corkthulu 6/28/2012

written by Corkthulu

My life has fallen to pieces. The details aren’t important. It’s all the same stuff that you read on this forum. That’s not even the reason I’m upset. My emotions are out of control. I can be fine one day, then spend the next day crying into my pillow. I’ve had it. I cut myself. I beat my face in with a mallet. I can’t stop fantasising about jumping off the roof of my house. And yes, I do have a suicide plan. I feel that God has abandoned me, and I don’t know where to turn. The only ray of hope right now […]

6/28/2012 2 comments

Need to get out.

by Blackcloud 6/28/2012

written by Blackcloud

Been thinking.

Too much.

How do you change your thought process? I’m not talking about just negativity, here. The way you think. I’ve been so analytical in my thought process that the only way to change is to constantly brainwash myself towards another way of thinking, and that’s what I need to escape from. I want to live in a more direct “Living by the moment for the moment”, not “Living in my brain about the moment in the moment”. I can’t just “live”. I don’t need a happily ever after either. Just normal conversations with a person. My father. My friend. Anyone. (Yeah, I’m a […]

6/28/2012 0 comment

Dead Person Walking

by trishab440 6/27/2012

written by trishab440

Dead inside for a long time. Years.Â I want to go, but I can’t yet. Things get worse the longer I wait.
I only just discovered this site today and I’m comforted to see that many people think like I do about this subject. I guess I feel validated in a way…even “normal” in my thought processes about it all. Thank you for that!
I have two previous “attempts.” People said it was (I HATE this phrase) “a cry for help.” Actually I was too stupid to know that the drugs I used wouldn’t kill me and only land me in the hospital, […]

6/27/2012 3 comments

Life is so mundane…

by TheDisturbedOne 6/24/2012

written by TheDisturbedOne

Everyday brings the same crap, everyday I wake upÂ nauseousÂ as hell.
Everyday I think about how I can successfully kill myself. My parents think I
need to be under medication, because I find it hard to express emotions and feelings when I find everything pretty shitty.
Any temporary happiness I have is always clouded with suicidal thoughts.
As each day goes by sleep is something I resent more and more. Truth is I hate sleeping because I hate waking up to another shitty day
in this existence.I live with the innate idea that if I was never born, I would be happier since I would […]

6/24/2012 2 comments

Idk

by Marissa Kresge 6/21/2012

written by Marissa Kresge

Hello, I’m marissa and I’m suicidal, achoolic, drug addict, and anorexic. I’m 14 and I drink and do drugs every night. I make myself puke 3 times a day. I have suicidal thoughts every night.

I live with my mom and her husband(sadly my step dad) I’m verbaly abused by both of them everyday. I was several times physical. I have no control over my life. I’ve tried to runaway but I always get caught. I’ve tried to take my life but always get talked out.

My father wasn’t there at my birth and was really never there for me. He moved to Florida when […]

6/21/2012 2 comments

An intro – seems like so many days run togethor

by donotgiveashit 6/21/2012

written by donotgiveashit

This is first time I have ever posted on web about suicide, this is actually pretty cool. I will not go into all my problems, just to the point where as so many other times in my life, I question why am I living? I have lost really great jobs, decent marraige, etc. and now I feel alone. I also like many others here have seen countless therapists, doctors, been diagnosed with two different things by several doctors, bottom line – I am miserable, I hate where my life is, unfortunately I do not have the balls to commit suicide. I prayed even today several […]

6/21/2012 3 comments

new to site

by loveless1189 6/20/2012

written by loveless1189

Well as the title States I’m new to this site. My names tj and I am cursed and bated by everyone and everything. If there is a God which I don’t believe there is I’m pretty sure he hares me as well. I lost my best friend, my girlfriend and pretty much everyone who’s ever been in my heart either by choice or not. No matter how hard I try to be a good person and nice to everyone it always goes horribly wrong. Most recently I found a girl who I began to fall in love with ironically with the same name as my […]

6/20/2012 0 comment

It does get better…

by Em 6/16/2012

written by Em

Hi,

I’m new here, and I wanted to share my story. Â My name’s Em, and I’m 21. Â A year ago tomorrow, I tried to kill myself by taking the biggest overdose I’ve ever taken. Â I’d lost the will to live, I believed I had nothing to carry on for and I just wanted to end it all. Â My relationship with my partner had come to an end, I’d lost most of my friends, all of my family, I had no source of income, my work training had finished and I had nothing to hold on to. Â I was depressed anyway and having nothing good to focus […]

6/16/2012 11 comments

I still want to die

by Marissa 6/16/2012

written by Marissa

Yup, some things have happened since i last came here. i think i’m in love, but i hate getting hurt so much. My best friend came into town but right now she’s not here. Thats pretty much all that has happened that is good. I still am depressed and suicidal but again, i can’t leave my best friend alone in this cruel world. Wish i could go right now. Still am addicted to cutting. I’ve burned myself but its not the same without any blood. I’ve seriously been thinking about drugs. I need something that will help relax me and maybe i’d finally get some […]

6/16/2012 2 comments

Finished

by lostchild445 6/16/2012

written by lostchild445

i can’t write anymore. I don’t even have it in me to write poetry. I’m inches from another relapse and the only thing stopping me was the poems. I’ve got no more inspiration. I’m so low I can’t even express it. I want to go back. To cutting. To drugs. To cigarettes. To not giving a fuck about anything. Because this forcing myself to care about life is draining me. Maybe another attempt will set me straight. Maybe if I can just solidify my depression, I’ll never have to be happy again. I’m sure I’ve got more than enough razors and pills. Maybe I’ll drop […]

6/16/2012 3 comments

Drugs, do or die

by EvilBritBrat 6/15/2012

written by EvilBritBrat

Well I just can’t do this anymore! I came to my aunts about a month ago to get my shit together. I got off drugs, got my food stamps, got back on meds, trying to get my insurance back, and I have applied once again for my social security disability. Some good things in the works I guess BUT my depression, and suicidal ideation is at an all time high. I almost killed myself in my aunts basement and for that I am disgusted with myself. The funny thing is now that I am clean I haven’t had one craving for drugs! NOT A ONE! […]

6/15/2012 0 comment

Would money make a difference?

by EvilBritBrat 6/15/2012

written by EvilBritBrat

If we could all just win a few million dollars, would that make a difference to anyone?

If you had one wish would you choose money, or death?

I think I would choose the money because I believe I could buy the happiness I always wanted with that and plus If I had the money death would be a breeze! I could afford to buy all the drugs in the world have my own house were I could die peacefully if I choose…

BUT… that will never happen, FML, I just want to die die die!

6/15/2012 10 comments

cutters: people they’ll never understand.

by ktuck 6/14/2012

written by ktuck

Nobody understands why cutting is an addiction. Nobody understands why when I’m angry or sad, my first thought it to bleed, my next is to feed my drug addiction.Â Nobody understands that I’d be able to quit drugs easier than I would be able to quit cutting. I wrote this last night in hopes of trying to eliminate the confusion. I hope this poem is acknowledged.

Have you ever been hurt?
But I donâ€™t mean for real.
I mean the kind that canâ€™t be seen,
the kind only you can feel.
You keep it to yourself
the feelings youâ€™ve come to accept.
But still, every time […]

6/14/2012 10 comments

Free to die

by lostchild445 6/11/2012

written by lostchild445

This is my first non poem post in a long time. If you haven’t seen them, please look them up and tell me what you think. Anyway, on to the post.

I did it. I managed to get myself discharged from all psychiatric treatment. No more therapists, no more psychologists, no more meds or anything. It’s bittersweet. I knew they weren’t helping, but I don’t know what else to do. Everything they did wasnt working, so im back to my own methods of coping. So what if they’re unhealthy? They work. One joint makes me feel better for longer than a weeks worth of SSRIs. […]

6/11/2012 1 comment

Not again

by AW92 6/11/2012

written by AW92

Hm well I haven’t really felt any better since the last rant.
I’ve finally finished it with my long term on and off boyfriend of 4 years, I don’t feel bad about it at all, i am not in love with him anymore, but I do still love and care about him, he doesn’t seem to understand how you can feel that. He also can’t stand hearing about my “life” with other people.
Is it bad to have slept with more people than your actual age?
I don’t regret any of the things I’ve done ever! I did regret not doing drugs, but ha i […]

6/11/2012 0 comment

cut off

by starterjacket003 6/10/2012

written by starterjacket003

My uncle died last night. It might have been drugs or maybe the police using a stunner had something to do with it. It is a rough blow, but I’ve always been able to deal with the big things in life. I suspect many around here feel the same.

It has always been the petty indignities that hurt the most. I really am more hurt about a friend blowing me off and not coming to visit like he said he would. I think about my uncle, about how his story didn’t have a happy ending. He was a lonely person at the end of his life […]

6/10/2012 0 comment

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