Don’t tell me you know my sadness if you’ve never felt it. Don’t tell me you know the emptiness in my heart if you’ve ever seen it. Don’t tell me you know what I feel if you’ve never asked. Don’t try, just don’t even try. Because I have had enough of your lies, that you know me. That you care about me and are “There for me” Screw that. I know you better than that. I may not know EVERYTHING about you, but I know you well enough to know that you only care about your drugs and your beer. IF you really cared, you would […]
Tag:
Drugs
Its not even like I’d care .. Almost everythings gone anyway . I had my parents taken away when I was 2 because of drug addiction . All my biggest hopes and wishes were taken away when I was 8 and I realized “mommy” & “daddy” don’t think I’m any more important than their drugs and new boyfriends/girlfriends . When I was 11 , leuchemia took my grandma from me . This past winter my past caught up with me . All my memories started rushing back and I started acting differently . Because I’d changed so much , all my friends were taken from […]
I’ve been through a ton of things lately, right now I’m really depressed and I just wanna throw it out there since no one else will listen, I fucking hate where I’m at and I want to go back home I’m on the east side of the country and I belong on the west. Not gang related, just two different sides of the World and I belong on one, not in between, not on the East, but on the West. I messed up, I did drugs, I disrespected myself I disrespected the people I lived with when I lived in the West. I became manic […]
This is for a friend of mine, who had longed to leave this life behind.Â
Her name was Amber and she was a ray of brilliance. Her life seemed like any other. (not to say it was perfect. Her mum never had never any time for her so, she was at my house often. Once, we even threw her a birthday party because her mum had either forgotten or didn’t have the money) Amber was beautiful and smart, too. She was accepted into one of those magnet schools and was successful in her early years of school. She quit the magnet school, however. I recall her grades […]
my name is matt, I live in new jersey. i started off with depression when i was 3. at that time my father began beating me i would estimate once a week, as well as my father having somewhat severe fights with my mother which often hurt me because she would be emotionally unavailable and I obviously was very distant from my father which made me feel alone. this feeling of being alone has always embodied me. i now am 19. i started off in middle school acting out and made a lot of “friends” but got myself in a lot of trouble just because […]
I was abused pretty early on by my father. Mentally and physically. He tried to kill me with a gun. It misfired twice. I used to think I was fortunate that happened, now I wish when he shot, he killed me. I would have saved me a lot of suffering.
Went to school teased there as well. Stood up to them didn’t matter. Beat them up. Didn’t matter. Told school officials didn’t matter.
Then my mother abused me mentally. She checked out on life for a number of years by taking percocet and valium. Which left me at 8 to pay the bills. The money was there […]
I don’t really know how to tell anyone these things but I’m at breaking point, I can’t find comfort from the only two people who stick by me…
I’m fifteen years old and I get bullied every day at school for being ‘Emo’ I don’t understand why. They don’t know my past..
When I was younger my Mom and Dad would argue a lot, I’d end up crying myself to sleep wishing that they could just get along, That was until my Dad started hitting me, at first it would be on rare occasions then it was every night. I was so scared even now I’m scared […]
Noone realizes the pain I go through every single day. I have to live up to my two sisters who are amazing at everything, my “friends” never want to hang out with me because I don’t do drugs or smoke or have a life (out of school and sports). My parents just went through a terrible divorce and constantly fight through me, but /i can’t talk to anyoe about it because my one sister hates me and the other one is living her own life far away from my crappy life. My “friends” are all jerks and treat me terribley, but they are the oly […]
I chose this to be my username for a reason. I’m out of options. Everyone says I’m not allowed to kill myself or self injure or smoke or drink or do drugs but at the same time they say I don’t need therapy. They say I’m not allowed to die but I can’t stand living another day. I’m living my life for other people, cuz I sure as hell don’t want to be here. If I’m living just so someone can see my face one more time, why bother? I’m dead on the inside. I might as well make the outside match. I’m tiered […]
I really don’t where else to write my shit so I’ll write it here.. fuck I just spent the last 10 minutes looking through facebook and my friends’ profiles and shit.. with their proper nice social lives! well my story is I was on medication for 7 years then I came off it.. been 6 months.. in that time my social life kinda collapsed (not entirely somehow coming off meds ups ur hormones.. so u know that department was all good 😉 not to brag really but yeah it was good shit..)
but anyways.. when ur all spaced out.. and weird.. it’s a lot harder to […]
I really can’t take it anymore. I have scars everywhere. I can’t bend my arm or my wrist will split open. My girlfriend is gone, my therapist is on her side, my friends are on her side… I know that if the opportunity came for a quick death, I’d take it. I’m scared. If I found a gun or a lot of drugs or anything like that, I know that’d be it for me. My friends said everything is coming together, but it’s really falling apart. I can’t go back to the hospital, but if any of my counselors knows I’m suicidal again I’ll have […]
Sometimes I feel like I have no right to feel as horrible as I do. I’m not facing peer pressure, I don’t have horrible parents that do drugs or would kick me out if I was gay or anything like that, but I just feel like a piece of crap all the time. I try as hard as I can to be a good person, really. I never ask my parents to buy anything for me unless they ask for a birthday or Christmas list (and I never put more than three or four things down, knowing that we can’t afford much), I do anything […]
In the deep deep shadows
Of a dark dark night
A girl walks the face of the Earth alone
As if pulled by a string
She doesn’t know where she’s going
She doesn’t know where she’s been
All she knows is what waits ahead
Because of whom she is
People stare
And people mock
But the young one never stops
She know something they don’t know
And something they never will
And so she tarries on
She goes as far as humanly possible
And then she walks some more
For she remembers the tale
She was told long ago down […]
I hate people.
I hate being fed up.
I hate seeing people I used to be friends with being happy without me.
I hate Facebook.
I hate being tired.
I hate the movie theater.
I hate love.
I hate that guy who I have a crush on who is embarrassed to be my friend in public, but loves to videochat for hours whEn it is just the two of us.
I hate that I let people use me.
I hate my parents.
I hate my siblings.
I hate school.
I hate drugs.
I hate that my friends do drugs.
I hate being an ugly person.
You come from a family that throws the word love around like it is going out of style. Hugs and kisses aplenty. Very stable as far as emotional content. Ah but there is not always food. You have to attend school in rags. Your friends enjoy their toys and games but you have little or none. Not because they lack, but to teach you independence. To teach you discipline. To teach you responsibility.
Oh and when you are attacked an abused on multiple occasions over several years, you are told to suck it up and man up about it. Because you are a boy and not […]
Well I am nearly there, though it does seem that someone is trying to persuade me to stick around a little longer with some amazing opportunities just landing in my lap this week…
Today 2 years ago I made the hardest decision of my life to discontinue treatment of the person I cared for most, and allow her to die. I know it was the right thing to do, however I think of her every day, and especially now as I near graduation I just see a gap where she would have sat.
I am still of sound mind, and my decision is still logical. With the […]
My name is rebecca taylor i am 16 and a sophmore in high school. I have put up with alot of things that most people dont know about me. so where should i begin? well i shall start where my whole life started falling apart. I was four years old at the time i was first raped! i remember this event to well i was asleep when a frind of the family came in my room and started touching me when i tried to scream he punched me in the head and knocked me unconcious. he continued to rape me untill i was seven. at […]
okay, i am 14 years old and have ben hurting myself for 2 years. i have never be able to quit for over 2 months. i have no idea why i do the things i do. i have tried commiting suicide three time but all fails. i started taking medication to help but it did nothing, therapy, nothing. every try failed. even god, i asked him, and nothing. i feel like no one can help, im just so unloveable, weak, ugly and stupid. i hate myself so much. and if i didnt whine like alittle ***** maybe things would be better……i have a great life […]
I went away for 3 days, to visit my sister at her university. It was a nice break from my parents. They’ve never really been the best to me. I had an awesome time, I returned in such good spirits because when I was over there I didn’t have  a care in the world. I was in a different city, a good 4 hours from where I live. I barely texted anyone so it was just a clear-mind vacation (I know it was only 3 days) So that was fun, but as soon as I get home they start being rude. My parents like to […]
I wonder what to do now seeing as how my mind isn’t clear there will always be that edge to want to hurt cut burn or die. No matter what I’ve been through this off and on uhm well something today caught in my mind I don’t know felt like sharing it, when I was little my mom left me only to be raised by my father I watched him suffer so he died when I was younger my dad was like my best friend so that loss killed me and started this horrible addiction of cutting than I had to leave everyone which […]