I really don’t ask for a lot out of life. I mean I’ve wished for a lot of things, sure, and who hasn’t? I know that I don’t need a lot of luxuries in life.  But is it really too much to ask for a little stability in my life? All I want to be able to do is go to sleep at night without being anxious about where I’ll end up sleeping and if I’ll eat tomorrow. It’s the reason I ended up suicidal in the first place. Not the self-esteem issues, not the loneliness, not any failed relationship, not school, not work. Hell, […]
Tag:
Economy
I fear that I might be alone on this one. I’m losing the one I love, and my hands are tied. Our love seems to be drifting further and further away as each day passes. She says she loves me, but her actions speak otherwise. She can’t get a job, not because places aren’t hiring, but for the simple reason that she has stopped looking. I cannot support both of us, and due to the economy, most couples have to work together in this area if they are to survive, let alone thrive. She is not independent, nor does she make any effort to become […]
All the time I see these extravagant programs for Veterans with PTSD, or any other ailment they might have…
What about regular people…there are more non-militants in America that suffer from mental illnesses. About 1 in 3 to 1 in 4 adults suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder or disease in a given year. This amounts to about 70-80 million people out there alone and helpless. According to records, about 8% of American citizens will develop PTSD sometime during their lives. In 2005, 1.77 million American males committed suicide. 450,000 American females committed suicide.
There is little to no help for people in this situation, and I […]
“Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me: I quit!’â€
― Bill Maher
“When you’re young and healthy you can plan on Monday to commit suicide, and by Wednesday you’re laughing again.â€
― Marilyn Monroe, My Story
“We cannot tear out a single page of our life, but we can throw the whole book in the fire.â€
― George Sand, Mauprat
“What’s the big fucking deal? Lots of amazing people have committed suicide, and they turned out alright.â€
― Emilie Autumn
“I simply wondered about the dead because their days had ended and I did not know how I would get through mine.â€
― James Baldwin
“She […]
the truth is that..i still feel this way all the time.i dont have a girlfriend i can afford..i cant afford to even kal a girl that just acceptd my proposals i am as broke as a dinosaurs fossil.i am sliding into depression jst from making this comment.a girl once fainted in my arms at home.but i couldnt afford the simplest form of transportation around this parts,i couldnt get her to the hospital or anything.i was called a curse to the economy.i can hardly afford my meals so i am staying with my parents,this to a great lenght have stopped me from being who i am,truth […]
It’s gradualy filling up.My heart is turning jet black,I just feel it.It always felt so empty but now the void is replaced with hatred and disgust.Hatred for my own kind.Hatred for myself most.I’m such a trash.A trash that live in this dump called earth.A dump filled with being I consider trash as well,all piled up together.
I just can’t feel contempt,I can’t be happy here.The only thing that kept me here so long are video games,pathetic as it may.I’m tired of wasting every days away on those stupid games so my poor little self don’t have to think about anything.I achieve nothing everyday.
I just hate humankind.
I […]
Five years ago I lost the best job I ever had.  I worked there for 18 years and just like that I was out. I can’t let go of the past. I think about that job everyday. Random events remind me of that job and it makes me cry. I don’t know what to do with myself. I really need help but I don’t know how to get it. I see a psychiatrist once a week but he’s nothing more than a pill pusher. What I need is someone to talk to – really talk to. Someone who can help me put my life in […]
well im a thirty three year old single man who has no real friends,i did not go to the military and i did not go to a four year college after highschool,as a matter of fact i dropped out of highschool, i got a GED and i went to community college,ive have been in and out of school for the past 14 years……whats worse is that i became a recluse christian type of person when i was in my best years nineteen through twenty-one,i started trying to live at twenty-six years old after being into a repressive christian life and i traded my sense of […]
I know there is a bad economy.i know my family isnt one anymore.i know my eldest brother died trying to build the family a good future.and i know i might never know how it feels to be loved.but i dont care.i dont care because nobody cares.nobody give a fuck about me.i am one worthless ************.and thats the only reason why when i see people turn their back on me.i hate myself for a while and move on.i know my entire family is broke and i know the world is not a place for our kind.i dont belive in hope or a bright future.’cus the only […]
I know there is a bad economy.i know my family isnt one anymore.i know my eldest brother died trying to build the family a good future.and i know i might never know how it feels to be loved.but i dont care.i dont care because nobody cares.nobody give a fuck about me.i am one worthless ************.and thats the only reason why when i see people turn their back on me.i hate myself for a while and move on.i know my entire family is broke and i know the world is not a place for our kind.i dont belive in hope or a bright future.’cus the only […]
42, lost, and really unsure where I belong, or even if I do belong. I bring to much pain to me and others
by wstock7
written by wstock7
Can anyone relate? Can anyone understand? Am alone?
I am 42, and have battled with success and failure all my life. I am a high school drop out, who has struggled my whole life, but have always held roles in the financial sector primarily mortgage related. A few years ago the industry was totalled with the fall of the economy, and many blame it on mortgage’s and I cannot disqualify this. However I have always walked the line, doing what is right, and what is honest, while watching those around me, become wealthy, and having no concious. Sometime I really regret, being the stand up guy. […]
25 years ago I committed a federal felony. I stole money from the bank I worked at. The details don’t really matter-I confessed to it because my conscience got to me & returned the money. Even though I did my time & paid my fines, I ruined my life. It in reality is a life sentence. Not even the POTUS has the authority to expunge the record after all these years. I managed to survive through the years but this economy has been impossible. I had been doing well: had my own home, a rental property & a […]
Times are getting tougher….
They snipped out semesters from the college I’m going to because of budget cuts. I can’t find a job in this f*cked up economy. I’m 21 years old and still living with my parents. I feel so ashamed because I can’t find a job or other school where I can finish getting my degree. F*cking economy. I have no idea what to do with my life anymore… I just want to end it. I just want someone to kill me. I just feel so useless…………
It’s been a rough few years, and not sure when to expect something better. Soon, actually, but it could end up not happening. I finished graduate school and moved in with family to help raise their kid. I didn’t have anything better to do. Of course with the economy, a job was hard to come by. I temped, but that ended. Two years after graduating I got a professional position, but it ended up not working out – for me or them. And now my old boss is trying to hire me. I just got a bad feeling about it as I got ready for […]
http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/bering-in-mind/2010/10/20/being-suicidal-what-it-feels-like-to-want-to-kill-yourself/
It’s really goddamn familiar, huh? I guess we could all stand to stop creating or internalizing unrealistic standards for ourselves and our lives… Which is harder than it sounds, for me anyway.
One more thing I stumbled on recently that I thought was interesting: antinatalism, the belief that life should not be brought into existence. They say they don’t approve of suicide, but I see a connection. Regardless–hear, hear!
By the way, I’m so fickle about life… I am back to suicidal ideation again because two leads I had for jobs no longer seem as promising. Having a liberal arts degree in this economy is such a […]
(I was going to put this as a comment under my picture but, I didn’t really want to start a big discussion there about jobs and the economy)
Please, would someone just listen to me? Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall.
I really, honestly appreciate the thoughts and ideas for what I can do. However, I am not stupid. I KNOW my options. I know what to do and how to be and what to say. Even though I’ve talked about myself in a few posts and comments here doesn’t mean you really know me or what my life is like.
I […]
After a few months I grew tired of feeling sorry for myself so I started developing a website to help myself keep busy in my spare time, but to also inform others of the dangers of spending money foolishly without thinking. Econochristian.com is my website. As you can see, I somehow discovered a path to religion when all of humanity seemed to have failed me. I guess this happens quite often, but it does help to rely on a religion with many followers to help you get back on your feet.
I am 28 yrs old. I am your typical white guy. I am married to a beautiful women be she doesn’t live with me.   I use to own a business but with the economy I had to shut down. I have had a rough life I spent 9 yrs in stae and federal prison. I went in when I was 18. I came out reformed and ready to work. I met my wife who was my sisters best friend about 4 months after i was released. I started a moving business and did great with it. i was able to do more stuff with my life in […]
I was a pretty popular man in High School. Most people seemed to know and like me. But, 3 years after in a month, I’ve gone nowhere. No job, no school. I’m an aspiring writer but don’t know how that’s gonna work out. I guess the saying’s maybe somewhat true after all that the popular kids don’t do well after high school. I wasn’t mean to people unless I felt they were mean first so I wasn’t one of the stereotypical popular people in school. I also did feel suicidal 95% of 2008 and occasionally do this year. Thank GOD not to that extent though. […]
So, the synergistic forces are closing in on me. I am not in a panic to end my life; in fact, I am worried that I will be somewhat excited when I do.
I have body dysmorphic disorder; people say my body is fine but I do not believe them. And then there is my career, which did not pan-out as I would have wanted. And then there are the bills I cannot pay.
So, yes, I am clinically depressed. I have a few methods I will try when I finally do try.
I just worry. That whole “accept Jesus” thing. It is upsetting to me, ultimatums, you […]
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