Before we begin, some background. Last year, I graduated with a Master’s of Science in biology. This was made possible by a loving mother who brought me to Canada and financial support by its government. During this time I have managed to forge real friendships backed by common experience and mutual understanding, a first for the shy kid who would always find solace in his books. In short, I’m pretty privileged: healthy in mind and body, with a support network, and a small investment portfolio. I understand if you can’t sympathize with my situation. I won’t pretend that I know the challenges of having been […]
Tomorrow night is the night.
Even when I was on the brink of killing myself, when all I wanted to do was rip my skin apart and die, I never missed an assignment, or failed to sit through a two-hour-long lecture, even when I couldn’t breathe because of panic attacks. I never once missed a training session or a competition even though I could not stop coughing because of pneumonia. Even when I was burning at a high fever, I never even thought about my own health when I was staying up late to type an essay. I didn’t mind driving myself crazy wondering whether or not my essay was […]
Common Core. Isn’t that the part of the apple they throw away?
School has ruined my life. I imagine it has ruined everyone’s, whether they choose to see that or not. I remember my first day of Kindergarten was so exciting, I loved those years, they are the wonder years and they are beautiful. But the educational system has since changed. What was once, in our parents years, a place of learning has truly become a place to teach everyone exactly how to grow up too fast. We are […]
School is managed to turn me from someone willing to learn and grow into a person with bleak eyes who memorises facts only to be tested on them. It has managed to turn me into a person who perceives death and expulsion as the same thing.
Depression stole my Education.
It stole my all of my Friends.
My Motivations.
My Dreams.
My Future.
My Life.
Me.
what could have life if you live in a very poor country no clean water,no education,no power,no burger,no tv no road.seriously thier are countless humans who live just like this.
welcome to the world kid,you have about 13 years to be happy,to be you,to be like nietzche said a superman,dont care about religión,responsability,education,prejuices,tabus,even sex.in this period you are you in your pure state,not influenced by society.when this period ends your mind starts to change,your feelings are new you will have to go to school,study like a damn nerd,obey the rules.now you are not you anymore,you are influenced by the people that surrounds you,their ideas,their fears.your doors are closing slowly.that pure kid that you where is dying.religion enters your life even if you dont like it at all.you have been raised to be a responsable,calm and […]
I hate life. I hate (almost) everyone. I hate education. I hate trying for a pointless future. I hate hope. I hate myself. I hate my feelings. I hate persevering.
Hey, my name is Jack.
today has been a pretty shit day, just like every other day I guess. In year 7 is when it all started, my dad stopped being my dad.
Dad was working in the Air Force and previously worked in the navy for years, so he is a respectable man. Although while i was in year 7, he got discharged from the air force for injuring his knee and neck. Now I’m 18, I finished school last year, I hated school. I hated the teacher, I hated the education, i hated the school in general. Everyone is so stupid, i honestly felt like one of the smartest people in the […]
I went for a walk tonight and it occurred to me that maybe there are just too many people in the world. Maybe somehow the universe just created too many people and some of us are just not needed. Perhaps I am one of the people that isn’t really meant to be here. I really am unwanted. I have no friends. Yes, I have people that I talk to at work, but no real friends. I am 37, I work in a professional job. I don’t have kids. I have been in a relationship with a man for the past 7 years (we don’t live […]
I just don’t know what happens to me sometimes, it is strange. I start saying things that I really shouldn’t say, I ruin everything around me because of this terrible habit. I don’t want to do it, it’s just like it takes me over and I start doing stupid fucking shit. And I can only watch as everything breaks down. It ruined so many things, it just makes everything so awkward. I don’t want to do it and yet it happens. I’ve had to explain many weird messages send to random people in the middle of the night. I’d usually say I was drunk, but […]
This is what could, as you would say “break the camel’s back”. I may have lost someone I considered a brother, but I could lose the only closest person after him… My sister (not related).
My sister and I have been close friends for close to about six years. We have spent so much time together and told each other many secrets. Even though I still act somewhat paranoid around her, I know she still cares for me and we love each other very much. It was only recently did we start talking again since there was a break in our education that allowed up free […]
I remember when I was about to graduate from high school, so happy,full of energy and ready to do everything to get to my goals and i entered university, I felt in love madly and she broke my heart but I managed the pain, it couldn’t break me and started new relationship but didn’t end up well, but I healed my wounded heart i faced with problems and kept my hopes alive but now that I compare my current problems with mentioned failures, I laugh at them. Now and after some years, I’m totally alone, with no one around me,no friends, lost my job and […]
I got married nearly 21 years ago to a man I thought would never do this to me. Â But now, he’s cheated on me, for a year, with someone he picked up online for casual sex. Â He says he’s never loved me, or he only loved me for two years, or he loves me but not like a wife. He tells me he’s been miserable for five years, no ten years, no fifteen years, no eighteen years. Â We “celebrated” our 20th anniversary, and he said he “even enjoyed some of the experiences” but this was before I knew about her.
I was sexually abused as […]
Sometimes, I just can’t believe what  has happened to me. I just can’t. Why? My life is absolute shit and embarrassing. I mean, when you’re depressed, you can talk to someone about it. Well, I can’t with my problem. It is absolutely embarrassing. Here is the one and only time I will talk about my problem.
I am currently in highschool, and I’ve been having halitosis for 4 years. Halitosis is a symptom where you’re paranoid about smelling bad. Worst is, I DO smell bad. AGH, that just hurt.. even saying it. Imagine, everyday, dreading to go to school, dreading to stand next to your crush, […]
So yeah went to the councelling session today. I didn’t cry, go me. She insists on telling me how brave i am to have overcome this this and this, as always. Sometimes i think she just doesn’t know what to say to me. We talked about the fact that my education is a shambles. She suggested i should aim towards a degree in youth work, because of how i’ve always been so focused on helping others. That i should be aiming towards a caring profession. Social work and psychiatry is a no no, but if teaching isn’t going to work out for me then i […]
Okay so my kind of suicidal is more like hours of disgusting contemplation over the most gruesome way to kill myself. But I’m not always suicidal, I am usually a very happy person. This feeling is only ensued when….I even get angry typing it out…..when my parents mention marrying me off. And I’m only ******* seventeen and I’m still a junior in high school (I started school late). I get extremely angry and my head starts throbbing (I can even hear it beating), and my body starts shaking like crazy. I go to an empty room and cry my heart and eyes out. I think […]
I know a lot of people have issues against drugs, and especially illegal ones at that. However, the simple fact is without drugs we would be less of a productive society, but it depends on the drug of course; some drugs make our society worse. Â We know what they are, but I think we all can agree that some drugs have important application. Â If you’ve ever been suicidal (who hasn’t?), we know that something causes this reaction in our mind to give up. Â It’s due to ourselves unequipped to deal with the pain or failing to find the answers that got us to this point. […]
It’s almost been a year now. A year since I pushed the only person out of my life who made life worth living. Since then I’ve become an alcoholic, abandoned my personal morals regarding premarital sex, am stuck in a relationship that I don’t know how to get out of, and have become even more depressed then I thought I could be.
Meanwhile my closest companion has gone off to better herself spiritually and with an education, and is apparently now in a relationship. Hopefully the person she is with now doesn’t hurt her as badly as I did.
I don’t know if I have […]
Newer Posts