It seems like every few nights anxiety rears it’s ugly head. I can ignore it for a while until I realize my jaws been clenched so tight my head hurts and I’m getting short of breath. I’ve had the jaw thing going on so long I swear it’s changed the shape of my face. Anxiety does not discriminate….it can be over something valid like finances or something so damn stupid (a dripping pipe, that’s tonight) I did everything I could do to remedy the issue but I can’t help but to get anxious. I’ve been to the basement a few times just to keep checking, […]
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Hi guys. It’s been awhile since I’ve been here. I have pretty much been doing the ‘keepgoingandhopeitgetsbetter’ thing. You know- putting off til tomorrow what I don’t really have to do today. There have been a couple new developments in my life.
For the past twelve months I’ve been staying with my parents again. Yes, I’ve been on my own since 20 and have now, after some major life events, had to swallow my pride and move back in, in my 30s. Well, finally my patience has been rewarded and in a few weeks I’ll be moving back into a place of my own.
I’ve also started […]
So I got it, but aparently it’s made by a company in India lol. The only complaints I’ve seen about it are that it’s a little weaker than its supposed to be, though it still works sooo…yay. Tested one out a little while ago. Waiting to see any effects. It had a strong smell though, don’t know how to describe it. I guess it just smelled…old? And I guess I’m gonna keep having updates until I decide to end things.
–I would make a lousy stalker.
–I can still play french horn reasonably well, even when I have a cold that completely plugs up my ears and sinuses.
–When ears and sinuses are completely blocked, granola bars taste like compressed sawdust.
— Coke Zero feels nice on a sore throat, but only for about 2 minutes.
–Amitryptaline does nothing to make me drowsy, despite that supposedly being one of the major side effects.
–When I have a cold bad enough to make granola bars taste like sawdust, I have an urge to watch old episodes of Rocky & Bullwinkle.
— I feel guilty when I cause other people stress and grief. […]
I tried to overdose on Unisom sleeping medication last night. I have the side effects of an overdose. I don’t know what to do because I have dizziness and it said the following day I would still feel weird. I don’t want my dad to found out or go to the hospital. I am at school and I can’t concentrate. I hope they wear off by tonight or early next morning due to I have a band competion and need to be normal for it.
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/tmp_23933-Session-121220324555.mp3
Found an old recording. Just my guitar and a drum loop. Too many effects dials and not enough production experience. Oh well. Have a good laugh. If you listen in headphones, turn them down, it gets stupid loud and squealy.
Edit: I know the rules say no hate, but feel free to hate on this. I’ll be the first to admit it sucks damn hard.
I’ve just spent 30 minutes trying to post a comment. I kept getting logged out every time I attempted to post and then my password was not accepted so I had a new password sent to my email and logged in again. Still could not post a comment so I rebooted my PC and logged in again and attempted to post again over and over and then got a pop up message saying I was posting too many comments too quickly. I can not see any of my comments in the normal view or the pending section. So I’ll post my comment to the Prozac […]
I cant shake this feeling of patheticness that lives within in me, its like a cancer that has grown to occupy and associate itself with so much of my thoughts. I cant look at something simple and not have it trigger these self defeating and narcissistic thoughts.
Everything feeds it and makes it grow, stronger and stronger. It has gotten to the point where it effects everything I do, every conversation I have, every task that I have to go through to live my life.
Is someone had a disease that the doctor could see in a scanner and see that it has spread so much, they […]
Hi. I found this website a few days ago, and I decided to post my story. When I was 16, my parents took me to a psyc for the first time because I was having minor anxiety and attention issues. 1 year later, the side effects had me depressed as hell. I was 18 when I tried to slit my wrists. I failed, obviously. 3 years later I started cutting. If I’m lucky enough to get anyone here before they start, don’t start!!! I was 22 when I tried to overdose on psyc meds. Now, I’m trying to stop cutting but failing. I want to […]
Everyday is the same. I can’t sleep, I sit in bed trying to remember why I even do this anymore. When I get up I’m in pain and I shut myself in this little prison I’ve made of my room. I’m truly alone, I don’t exist to anyone.
When no one is home sometimes I’ll stare out my front windows and wonder what it’s like being those people that walk around with friends without having to worry about panic attacks or breakdowns. I’ve tried an extensive amount of medications and none of them help, they usually give me bad side effects too.
I can’t afford a therapist […]
last saturday swallowed about 50, 500 mg acetaminophen tablets spent the entire night throwing up. spent several days nauseous, eventually went to the doctors(they dont know about overdose). then i swallowed about 15 more pills but im not feeling any side effects after it. i just want to die and i heard acetaminophen is one way to go
If I am weak or selfish shouldn’t I take responsibility for that?
Shouldnt I just get out of everyone’s way?
A hindrance is still an issue even if it only effects a few, it won’t get better til some sort of action is taken right…
This is not what i had expected. fuck it, fuck it. everything is ugly from the inside. I thought after getting a job many things will be fulfilled, i will take my revenge, become independent and move out and live on my own. But… nothing comes free. Everything comes with its own conditions and effects. eh, it changes you. Fuck, this is not what i had expected. nothing is fulfilled and everything is gone.
I hate my job. And it really has nothing to do with work pressure or office culture. I don’t know what I hate. But i’m hating it. I dread going to it. […]
Starting in January, I began experiencing what I call “sinking spells.” What happens is I suddenly loose all energy, like a tire going flat or a balloon suddenly deflating. I have to lay down and sometimes sleep for a couple of hours. I’ve checked my blood pressure when these attacks occur and it’s a bit low. When I awaken, it’s good. My cardiologist has suggested having a defibrillator implanted in case my heart suddenly stops. That’s just NOT gonna happen.
Yesterday evening, around 11pm, it happened again. I wasn’t sleepy when this happened…..insomnia…..well I quickly passed out in bed (not the same thing as drifting off […]
It totally sucks balls i have entities and voices trying to guide me through suicide. They suck arse.. The only way im going to do it is when i save up for a car and **s myself. Voices suck just stay away from drugs. Cant wait to end myself i wouldnt wish schizophrenia on my worst enemy i so fukin wouldnt. Almost ade os amigos. Cant reason with them side effects of mental illness and drugs is sleep lots and cant focus. Its almost over rover and expect no one to post because i cant contain this shit cant wait until my time comes
I have been planning to go away permanently for sometime now. I had a practise run and everything is set up.
The way it was determined will not make much sense to anyone. What am I even asking? I don’t know.
They sent me to hospital last Monday. I had not been sleeping I was hearing a lot of commands seeing things in my room. But all this has happened before. I admitted to having attempted to end my life but I have bipolar and bpd and I think that they just see all that as symptoms of my shit.
So the next two days […]
Here’s an article about the positive effects of negative emotions. I think it’s good to remember that no matter how bad you feel, the feeling was designed to help you fix or compensate for whatever is troubling you. Killing yourself is not the solution…
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201412/beyond-happiness-the-upside-feeling-down?tr=MostViewed
I’ve been lurking on this site for about a week now and finally decided to register today.I decided to reach out because I’ve been having a really hard time coping with things recently. My therapist was a waste of a degree, my friends don’t understand, and my girlfriend just recently left me.
It’s not like I haven’t had a hard time before. I’ve been in, what I call, a bad head space before. I’ve been hospitalized three times, have been cutting for some time now, and have attempted to kill myself twice. It just feels so much different this time.
I was and am still in love. […]
I’m not ok, I’m very far from ok. I’m am more then broken and even more then shattered. I’m don’t feel alive anymore and haven’t for a long time now, many days I have to remind myself that I am still here. My life and life situation is extremely complicated so I will do my best to explain. The worst and most extreme trauma is recent but I’ll save this for last. There are many parts of my life that effects me to this day so I’ll starting from when I was a child to present day and do my best to explain thing simply. […]
I am on a medicine that has major side effects. It helps me sleep and I am grateful for that. Sometimes I think the doc and therapist are helping at the same time I think they are in cahoots together. I have to remember I’m not a bad person just a sick person trying to get well. Any thoughts about this concept?
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