isit just me I feel like I have no purpose being here on earth I feel alienated I’m just floating though life like a leaf in the wind no real goals just making a mess of things no real meaning to be a live I no life is what u make it but I really haven’t got the energy to keep fighting we all end up in the same place anyways rich poor Healthly etc isit because I’m depressed anxious and suicidal and il been researching it sounds like iv got depersonalisation is that why I’m floating not connected to my body or isit just […]
It may just be the caffine crash talking but i feel like shit. There is a hefty amount of optimism in my mind about he future. But i have doubts and i dont have the energy to do all I’d like to do. Also that pesky anxiety though the aforementioned(in another post) ashwaghanda is helping. I pray. I didn’t always but i pray a lot nowadays. Even if it just in my mind it helps. Depression is just a *****. I think of death and life evenly now. It’s not a battle more of a friendly debate between respected rivals. I’m just hoping that my […]
There were many indications and hints long ago that something is off about me. There was a big fear that this thing that I call a life would never function like it is suppose to. Did anyone help? I don’t feel like they did but knowing how delusional I can be with my mind only thinking so negatively, they probably did.
Was it it helpful, I can easily say that no it didn’t really help me. Here I am years later with all of my issues amplified with new ones created. All of these problems coupled with the lack of energy that holds me down every […]
I have tried everything to keep myself going I’ve tried to see if life gets better. Let me tell you, it doen’t (at least for me). Lets go through what ive done, they say that opening up to someone will help, I thought I could tell my friend because he was good to me and we trusted eachother before. Wrong I told him and he bullied me for it. Now I have know one. My days are the same wake up with no energy, go to school to only expell the only energy I have, cry and eat for an hour and sleep. Yes because […]
hello.. this is my very first post. I have been lurking since the day that twix started posting. She touched me quite deeply, and made me wish that I could leave, as well. I don’t really want to die, but I have completely forgotten how to live. I also have no energy to live. Since I started lurking I have read almost all the posts, they help me on a daily bases. Each one of you is perfectly unique. I especially enjoy the posts and comments of cordless. You are so careful with your words, and show amazing grace and humility. It will take me […]
I was first diagnosed with depression over 20 years ago. Life has been up and down since then. I’ve had some fun, but I’ve often felt isolated and alone. I’ve had social anxiety that has made making friends difficult. After college I married the first the first person who showed an interest, which was a bad idea. She turned out to be abusive and had her own mental health issues. Eventually she moved out and we divorced.
After that relationship, I eventually met someone else who is kind, but unable to hold down a job. My life has been going down hill since the relationship began […]
Wow…
If I wasn’t so apathetic right now, I’d be shocked down to my core…
I never thought it possible to get emotionally lower than I was feeling before… But here I am, unable to even think, my last drop of energy being used earlier today when I walked home from my studies…
I don’t even have the energy to kill myself. If I had energy, I’d do it right now, as this is unbearable, but I cannot be bothered to get up from my chair for nothing in the world…
If the building would just collapse on me and excuse me of all the work involved in killing […]
Progress is hard to really acknowledge, because its hard to measure. Some days i still want to give up, but I’m coping with it better and actually beginning to deal with things in a healthy way.
There have been many things in my life at the moment which I’ve been tempted to quit and stop, I’ve felt like i don’t have the energy or motivation. I forced myself to continue my ‘hobbies’ and every time I’m glad i didn’t stop because it helps and makes me happy.
The night is the hardest, everything runs through my head and i struggle, i can’t sleep and when i do […]
Life is depressing
Life is frustrating
Life is a lot of effort
Life is painful
Life is a lot of bills
…and never enough money
Life is one struggle after another after another
Life is full of bad people, greedy people, and people who will stab you in the back
Life is full of racists, bigots and sexists
Life is full of corruption
Life is unjust and unfair
Life is trying so hard and still getting nowhere
Life is cruel to those born in poverty, living in poverty, born with disabilities or those living with disabilities
Life is not a life when you have no energy to do anything
Life is not happy for god knows how many people
I feel terrible inside myself and I don’t think it’s going to go away. I feel like I’m just a bad person who generates negative and bad thoughts. I’ve seen people in bad situations, depressed because something bad has happened to them, but inside they are great and positive. They would want good things for themselves and other. I don’t feel like something like that. I feel like I’m the thing that causes all the problems that are in my life. Im the bringer of bad energy and I truly wish I was never born 🙁
For the longest time guys have been drawn to me, mostly ones older than me (5+ years older). I’m not meaning to make this sound like I’m stuck up or the most wanted girl, because I’m nowhere close to any of those things. But ever since my rape and molestation (starting when I was 3-4)I have noticed this almost target-like thing about me or that other guys see that draw them to me. I’ve had multiple older guys try touching me when I haven’t even led them on, so, is it bad luck? is this in my head? Or is there something that may be […]
I used to think I was just lazy but after reading about depression the majority of the symptoms describe me perfectly, I really wish I had a will to live and be motivated to do things, problem is I lack self motivation, I only live for my boyfriend and family, majority of days I hope I just die in my sleep…
I absolutely hate the whole “suicide is selfish” bullshit. I really feel that people are selfish for making me stay alive & suffer. Sure, they’re not forcing me to stay alive, but I’ve been given the guilt trip & all of that stuff. Pretty much everyone in my life knows that I want to die. Family, friends, doctors, etc. I’m rather open about it. I’ve made all sorts of promises, but I really don’t know how much more I can take. I’ve had various plans. Some halfhearted attempts. Most of my plans now are pretty full proof, but complicated. I just stumbled across a new […]
if you saw my last picture and you see this you will notice a huge difference . This is what depression will do. I don’t do my hair anymore or take care of my self . Because I honestly just don’t have the energy. I’m not even the quite bit happy in this. That is a fake smile . You might not be able to see my skin and how drained it looks . The circles under my eyes .
When my friend showed me this I […]
Last night after work, I washed dishes AND I made supper for me and my boyfriend.
Many of you guys understand with depression it’s hard to get yourself to do anything. It’s hard to become motivated or even get out of bed. And it’s really been bad for me lately. I usually put all my energy and motivation into going to work, and even then I miss a day every other week. So it’s hard to come home from work and do anything that needs done. I usually just want to go to bed when I get home.
I know I haven’t accomplished much, but for me […]
Just a few hours ago, 153 innocent people were murdered. At leas one of them had now desire to die, but I’m assuming that was the case for most, if not all, of them. People wanting to live had their lives forcefully ripped from them, while I want to die but just don’t have the energy to try. I’d gladly trade places with any of them. This world is a cosmic, “Fuck you,” to everyone. Innocent people that want to live die every day, while those of us that want to die can easily end up surviving a suicide attempt or two. This is bullshit, […]
This is a little rant, and a bit of a description of how i imagine my mind to be. Sorry if it makes no sense, but it brings me some odd little comfort to see these thoughts exist somewhere outside my own head.
The world drifts by, just outside of my grasp. The soft floating bubbles of nothingness and confusion occlude my vision. I float in the dense waters of death, guided by the far away light of hope and life. Yet as I reach for it and feel it’s warmth, I shrink within myself. Withdraw in fear and uncertainty. Feel the cold tendrils of death tighten […]
I miss all of the old friends I have lost. They left me and I left them. I miss all the good memories I had with each of them. Now I’m stuck at home alone on Halloween with no energy and no friends who want to invite me to hang out with them, I have a feeling this years holidays are going to suck.
Found it so difficult today. Have barely had the energy to move.
Slept most of the day managed to just about get myself showered and washed my hair. (After doing neither for 2 weeks…disgusting I know).
Feel like I could sleep for forever. Wouldnt that be nice? To not have to agonize over methods of suicide but to just fall to sleep and never wake up
I can’t silence the screams to jump, to crash my car, to cut so deep. The comfort I find in driving over a bridge, seeing a tall building or any other method of death is exhausting me.
I’m sorry for people reading this. […]
Okay, I will confess: I’ve only ever written on post of this site from a long time ago and then kind of forgot about this site. But here I am again.
Basically what happened in that time was I got through high school and graduated with pretty good grades and all that, despite the rough patches throughout the years. I got accepted into my dream college and moved across an ocean to get here. These past two months at college have been amazing and I really shouldn’t have any complaints. I have friends, my classes are great and amazing and intriguing (I go to an Arts […]