Tag:

everything

Sick Of The Struggle

by wolfanasan 11/30/2015

written by wolfanasan

life comes so easy to so many people. decent people around them. decent grades at school. decent personality. decent appearance.

thats all i really wanted. an average, decent life. i could live with that. but not this life where everything is a struggle.

things do work out better for some. dont tell me nothing good comes easy. the only good that comes easy for me is these suicidal thoughts and plans because they are my only escape from this hell life.

i am back to lying in bed all day staring at the walls falling in and out of sleep. it makes sense that this is how it […]

11/30/2015 4 comments

I Will Only Let You Down

by winterskyout 11/30/2015

written by winterskyout

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66GHz-H4k6M
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
Upon my liar’s chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still […]

11/30/2015 2 comments

Note To Self: Become Perfect Overnight

by IAmPerfect 11/29/2015

written by IAmPerfect

When people look at me, they don’t see me. It’s my fault for hiding and lying and smiling, but sometimes I wish that someone would see me and ask what was wrong.

When people look at me, they see ridiculously high grades, higher than they have. They don’t see how I fall apart every time I look at a math problem, how I always have doubts no matter how well I’m doing, how I constantly worry.

When I say I’m nervous about a hard test, everyone scoffs. They’re usually right t0 – I always pass. They don’t understand that I really am nervous… I’m so stressed that I want to curl up […]

11/29/2015 9 comments

What are we living for?

by heartless 11/28/2015

written by heartless

Hollow smiles and empty days

Fading light and lonely nights

A struggle to find what’s been lost

A fight that never ends

Watching time slip away

I’m just trying for one reason right now, but I already fucked everything up in my life. Symptoms are getting worse, and the worst time of the year is coming up again. Fun.

Stupid idiot

11/28/2015 0 comment

Birthday gift

by crystalclear79 11/28/2015

written by crystalclear79

Today I told my mom that I am going to end my life on my birthday. My birthday is in 2 months. I only told her because I didn’t want it to be a surprise for her. I wanted to give her enough time to sit with the idea. I always mess things up in life. I’m just not good at it. I tried to take my life 2 years ago but it didn’t work. I took it as a sign that I must have a reason to live. But no, it was just me failing again. So, this time I’m going to make sure […]

11/28/2015 15 comments

Other Ways?

by tteia 11/28/2015

written by tteia

Are there any other ways to escape? Escape reality, and forget all this bullshit? I usually just sleep, but that’s not 100% enough, cause I wake up then can’t go back to sleep. I used to just watch videos but my phone is to slow, and if I keep going on my phone this much I’ll become legally blind. What other ways do you escape reality and forget about everything? I’m just trying to run away from my feelings. That’s all I can do at this point.

11/28/2015 5 comments

Trying to hang on……

by dumpling3236 11/26/2015

written by dumpling3236

I already know I will end my life. However, I am trying to hang on until after my youngest is 18 (in several months). It is getting very difficult to wait. I have everything planned and ready to go.

Each day is harder than the last. My very existence is torturous. I have no one to help me. The doctor trys to help but no medication or therapy has made a difference (over the last 40 years).

Every interaction seems to just take another piece of me. I have no more to give. The tank is finally empty.

I am afraid I won’t be able to survive to […]

11/26/2015 7 comments

Grey

by Trix 11/25/2015

written by Trix

Usually I can’t cry. Today I managed to a couple of times. Once was when I tried to write a short message to someone. I couldn’t understand the words well enough to construct a short sentence. I couldn’t write, I couldn’t speak to them. I cried because I’d lost so much. The tears were loud and I was sensitive to noises today, so it sounded like screams ringing in my ears. I lay with my hands clamped against my mouth to stop myself screaming from the pain of the noise and depression. I lay for a long time. After an hour or two I fell […]

11/25/2015 2 comments

Maybe one day.

by BrokenX2 11/25/2015

written by BrokenX2

I’ve been feeling unwanted lately. I feel like no one cares. Although I try to convince myself that I am all I need, it never works because it’s not true. I just need to know that someone cares, someone actually appreciates my existence. I want to wake up one day and actually be glad I am alive. Be glad that I am living. Sadly everyday feels the same for me. Feel like I’m begging people to be in my life. I’m begging for support. Seems like I’m begging for everything. It’s difficult having no one around. I’m always there for people, sad part is no […]

11/25/2015 2 comments

Hanging in suspense

by TheRoadSoFar 11/25/2015

written by TheRoadSoFar

I hate myself.

I think I’m falling in love with a very close friend, who doesn’t love me back, naturally. But she doesn’t know it.
At the same time, I’ve been sort of in love with my best friend, who, of course, doesn’t love me back in that way. But she doesn’t know it either. She is in love with a guy who also is in love with her. But he’s an idiot.
Still, he knows… I’ve never talked to him ever, but somehow he knew instantly that I’m in love with the 2 other girls I mentioned. I don’t know how. He just knew it […]

11/25/2015 1 comment

Awkward

by thehusk 11/25/2015

written by thehusk

It’s starting to dawn on me that I’m not really capable of the whole ‘human interaction’ thing. Even online.

I just can’t seem to ever talk naturally, without being incredibly self-conscious. Everything I say feels fake and contrived, even when I’m trying to be genuine. It’s like I’m not really human – just some kind of defective robot trying to copy behavior but getting it wrong.

I just need to stop being me. Stop thinking these defective thoughts. Be normal. Do normal things. Not constantly question everything. Stupid brain. Thinking dumb thoughts. You go shhh now.

The problem is me. Everything about the way I think. But how […]

11/25/2015 6 comments

Can’t forget these words by See Smith and I quote…

by jadedkeizy 11/25/2015

written by jadedkeizy

“It could turn out that your depression isn’t all because there is something wrong with you but more because you are trapped in a materialistic culture with skewed values. You might find that walking away from everything that you’ve been trained to hunger for liberates you.”

11/25/2015 1 comment

.

by quaero 11/25/2015

written by quaero

Not purpose. not peace. I will get over this lust, this loathing that lurks by my mouth. lust of my awareness to get mixed with outside things, lust to get lost in memory. why, this self is not the real one, i have seen it. There exists a state where one is distant from everything and yet he can function genuinely and solve problems. Everything is complete and honest, no lie involved.

11/25/2015 7 comments

Just need to get it out

by joeld 11/24/2015

written by joeld

Six months ago I had everything…a great paying job and a girlfriend of six years that I think adored me and I adored her. Depression then reared its head. I took absences from work to try and deal with it and then in July got fired. I haven’t been able to find a job since. This week my girlfriend and I broke up. It had been strained for a bit but kept hoping we could work through it. Now I’m about to end up on the street due to not having money. I’m still working on my plan but really liking this website. I felt […]

11/24/2015 2 comments

My parents are my worst enemies

by The Living Dead 11/24/2015

written by The Living Dead

I can’t take it anymore. I’m all alone all the time. I have no friends. Even my parents are against me. I can’t talk to anyone, but I yearn so much for a bit of understanding. My parents have abused me since I was little. They made fun of my looks, my behaviour, my friends (I had few when I was younger) and the things I liked even though I tried to be the perfect daughter. I stopped liking the things they didn’t like, I kept my room clean most of the time, I learned to get only A’s in school, I was polite to […]

11/24/2015 7 comments

Don’t know anymore

by Matel 11/23/2015

written by Matel

I’m back again in SP, well, of course. Never actually left. I’m in a strange mood in a bad way so I think this will be a ranting post of how undecided/unsure I am about some important things. Just going to number them, I like structure, haha.

I’m sure I should exit. This is the correct and logical decision for me. And I have some arguments that are pro and against which totally confuses me.

I can fail. Although my method is quite sure, there is always a chance. Most likely I will back out because survival instinct is a ..tch. Then it will be a huge […]

11/23/2015 11 comments

Do you think that some people are just cursed?

by hollylion 11/23/2015

written by hollylion

It’s something that’s just in fairytales and movies, but sometimes I wonder if there is such a thing as being cursed? If there is something out there in the universe that causes some lives to be charmed, normal, whatever and some to be unfortunate.

I used to post here a long time ago. I had a plan to travel and if that went well I would give life a chance and if it didn’t then I was ready to kill myself. I had pills ordered and everything.

And things got better. Then bad again, then better, then bad again. But then things got perfect. I ripped up […]

11/23/2015 8 comments

Hello

by Costy 11/22/2015

written by Costy

Hello guys. I think I will go next month when I will turn 20. Atheism is right. I ‘ve been through a lot of shit and I think everything is meaningless. Now some of you will say stay alive, some will shut up and some will say go through it. And I think I will go through it. What can be better than eternal silence?

We are just made/evolved so we can reproduce and carry on the species.Everything that happens are just chemicals in our brain. I am really tired. And I hate the most those people that say that life is worth living however it […]

11/22/2015 4 comments

Another failed attempt……. Impossible

by theloser102 11/22/2015

written by theloser102

I am theloser102. The one and only loser in my sovereign city.

On November 21st, 2015 at 11:00 PM at night, I decided it would the perfect time for me to finally find peace. I went to the area with lots of trees near my house and used a rope I bought. For the sake of following the rules, I’ll leave it at that. The aftermath however……

My suicide did not work, even after three tries. The only damage that was done was a few rope burns on my neck and a little bleeding, I couldn’t believe it. I ensured everything was well tight and was highly […]

11/22/2015 6 comments

I want to die

by nicole123 11/22/2015

written by nicole123

OI keep trying to tell my self that I don’t feel this way but I do. I want to lull myself so badly . But I’m scared . I don’t like my life at all . Everything is so messed up. I wish to be asleep forever. I’m so depressed. I don’t like anything . I feel like nothing . I want to go .

11/22/2015 7 comments

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