Tag:

Existence

by fukkyface 4/4/2012

written by fukkyface

this ache is stealing my face

stealing my name

This breakÂ in cognitive function

is leaving me lame

broken and mangled

twisted devices

going through the motion

life can only be perpetuated through vices

because the light is too bright

and the truth is too truthful

drink me down from this ledge tonight

loneliness is a prison with no bars to hold me in

the people all around meÂ

are merely bricks to my invisible prison

and they by their existence profess

my inadequecies

I am alive

but only by technicality

4/4/2012 2 comments

Some sage thoughts on suicide and misanthropy, and a few poems

by TangledUpInBlue 4/3/2012

written by TangledUpInBlue

To begin, I am fairly misanthropic and disenfranchised due to humanity’s impact on nature and the wildlife that inhabit (or did inhabit in many cases) this once beautiful planet, Â how society is in general, whether it be the intolerance and hate that monotheistic religions have spread for generations (as well as how religious teachings dominate our political and legal systems despite all of the blatant problems that arise from it), the general lack of concern for our irreversible impacts, our horrible justice systems, our spiraling out of control dependency on technology, etc, etc…. but I also share the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer’s views on misanthropy […]

4/3/2012 6 comments

organ donor

by livingnightmare 3/31/2012

written by livingnightmare

I wrote that on my arm last time I was on a psych ward, and then was about to take my life when the girl with learning disabilities across the hall from me came and knocked on my door wanting me to do her nails. She had been through so much and we were friends, she really didn’t deserve to have to watch me be brought out in a body bag which would have happened right outside her room. So I held on for a while and now I feel the same hopelessness again, the same desperation I just wish there was a way to […]

3/31/2012 2 comments

Happy Death Day…NOT (Another Failed Suicide Story)

by subtle_bloodstains 3/30/2012

written by subtle_bloodstains

I had it all ready. Everything was in place. Time. Method. I was scared, but I knew that I just had to overcome that fear. This was going to be like ripping off a bandaid: it was going to hurt for a very short time, but in a little while, its existence in the first place would be forgotten.

I told the only two people in the world who would care or it would impact in the slightest. The one had known for months (lets call her Olympia). The other I had only known for a few weeks, but we are very, very close because we […]

3/30/2012 4 comments

The Irony Of That Conversation…

by NotReallyHereAtAll 3/30/2012

written by NotReallyHereAtAll

I said: “Everyone has problems.”

You said: “You don’t. Your life is perfect.”

I didn’t argue.

But I did come on here right after you left and started writing this whilst inside me everything’s all jumbled up and messy and broken.

We all have our problems, okay.Â I might not have a horrible home life like you. I might not have been through the same things as you. But let me promise you: I have plenty of problems.

Yes, I have what looks like the perfect life- loving family, nice house, plenty of money etc. And I do actually have all of those things. My parents raised me perfectly and I […]

3/30/2012 6 comments

shock and awe!

by ironmiserie333 3/29/2012

written by ironmiserie333

Fellow empty, twisted, depressed, and manic readers I present the following true story of a perfect example of how the “normal populous” sees us.
I was at one time attending a support group for individuals “like my self” whom suffered from severe bi polar and depression cases. on this occasion someone new brought their mother (her daughter had been to a few meetings and so her mother decided to come).
As we begin the round table of pointless discussion E.G.how was you’re last seven days blah, blah, blah.
We finally reach a single woman who is a severe bi polar like myself. She states the […]

3/29/2012 10 comments

is this it?

by noneedforone 3/29/2012

written by noneedforone

Is this all we have to look forward too?
Is this what life is now
Day after day of soul crushing agony
I didn’t ask for this
Existence is a burden i dont know if i can bear

3/29/2012 0 comment

Life is grand, life is a lie…

by ironmiserie333 3/28/2012

written by ironmiserie333

To start I have been watching this site for a year. I have witnessed sorrow, pain, emptiness, death, and living the life of death. I have also watched a few people climb from the edge and feel wonderful.
I am so sorry to tell you this but that lasting happiness is a lie. Someday everything you built will come crashing down. Your spouse will leave you sure to your mental wearing them down. Those people who can see the worlds splendor will never truly understand us.
I have a good job, a sweet step-daughter, a beautiful wife, and the cutest dog in the world.
I […]

3/28/2012 5 comments

An argument for leaving

by In Transit 3/26/2012

written by In Transit

herewith the top 3 reasons why people say you shouldnt “leave”…

1.) think of what it would do to those who love you
2.) Your depression is only temporary
3.) Maybe things will be worse “when you are on the other side”…

Herewith my responses:

1.) Why is it that we are made to feel so indebted to others to remain here in our suffering? Are we here to serve as buoyancy devices for those who cant stay afloat without us? Why do people feel a sense of ownership towards others? We ALL (with NO exception) are targeted for an eventual demise, why think that there is any […]

3/26/2012 9 comments

Life has no meaning… no survival.

by alautox 3/23/2012

written by alautox

We are born, are educated, get a job, find a partner, have a family, make enough money to stave off discomfort, live the constant struggle of existence, get old, weak and sad, and then die.

Man killing man, people starving while others watch, rape, death: It all seems so illogical, so pointless. Life must be the complete stupidity of existence itself. Therefore we need to create artificial meaning to prop up our petty lives. We depend on religion, which answers our questions by referring to another world that doesn’t exist but provides a so called reason for living. Some people survive through apathy and conformity, following […]

3/23/2012 6 comments

Failure

by sunbird 3/20/2012

written by sunbird

Stupid me…I couldnt smuggle one of my necessary components into OZ(or I should say I didnt want to attempt it) and I came close…had so many oportunities…a 7th story balcony…the ocean,crocodile infested waterways,the dense rainforest….

All throughout my vacation,my boyfriend really hit home ow little I matter to him,lying about his vacation,rarely calling me,not planning on coming home for weeks so he can be with his mommy and daddy….the only thing he cares about is making sure he gets paid back his money that I corrowed from him.

Now,stupid me,I made it home…and Im in physical pain,suffering at the emptiness that i came home to.No one cares,no […]

3/20/2012 2 comments

End-game

by Embers 2/28/2012

written by Embers

To be a candle, with a wick almost burned down, the wax melted so far down there is no relighting it- that’s how I see every person’s existence- as a candle with varying amounts of “wax” left, keeping them burning. Elton John was brilliant for using this when Diana perished, what seems like eons ago.

I am not being dramatic when I say I want to die.Â I want to end my life. I’ve lived for nearly 3 decades now, each decade worse than the last. My first decade and most of my second had me tied into an impoverished family whose only abundance in life […]

2/28/2012 4 comments

sadness

by sad hat 2/19/2012

written by sad hat

i want to disappear, forever. it’s been a year, the most agonizing and painfully slow year of my life. i should be better, but i’m not.

recently, i was admitted into a psychiatric unit as an inpatient. i was on suicide watch. they locked me in a room and had a police guard sitting outside my door. then i was diagnosed with depression and borderline personality disorder. i had to call my mom. she cried. it hurt.

i cut. i hate myself. i hate my elephant body. i count calories meticulously, but i also go on terrible binges. i purge. my sad bouts get progressively worse. i […]

2/19/2012 1 comment

two steps left

by tphg 2/17/2012

written by tphg

two more life steps and I get to end it all with as little hard feelings as possible.

1. save up nest egg for brother
2. kill self

simple; I don’t care anymore how I earn the money, just that I do. I’m putting this out to my universe so that it sinks deepeer into my brain. I don’t give a fuck about existence. I want out. The things that go on around me, this life, this society of “civilized” apes.. me nah want it. fuck it. keep it. don’t need it. don’t want perception. don’t want a brain. don’t want to know anything. non-existence, c’est ca […]

2/17/2012 1 comment

Testing faith

by livetodie 2/14/2012

written by livetodie

Let’s cut to the chase… no one really cares. Yesterday I asked my friend, the only one who knows how badly I want to die, how he’d feel if I told him that I was going away and never returning… never contacting him again. I’m not about to whine to you because my girlfriend stabbed me in the back or because I never got the pony my poor ass family could never buy me… actually, in most ways, I have it pretty ‘together’ and most people who “know” me wouldn’t get that I’ve wanted my life to end every day for the past 11+ years. […]

2/14/2012 16 comments

“I Will Not Go On”

by AudioOverlord 2/13/2012

written by AudioOverlord

I must sound foolish and stuff but I am 13 years old. I am very suicidal and emo and i do cut myself. I honestly do not see what my purpose in life is.. All my friends have betrayed me and all my enemies have overcome me.. The lies have become reality.. My family ignores myÂ existence.. I will not go on.. I have been bullied for many years…but when i tell my parents.. my dad yells that im a ***** and my mother ignores me.. my grandparents hate me..i’ve been mollested 4 times.. 2 by a cousin, 1 time by a man and 1 time […]

2/13/2012 1 comment

It’s been a full life

by imtemporary 2/9/2012

written by imtemporary

When I say it’s been a “full” life, I definitely don’t mean it’s been a happy one. But I’ve accomplished a lot, experienced a lot, and now like a runner who’s exhausted and crippled from running so hard I’mÂ going to stop.

Human societyÂ is anti-suicide. Everyone tells you it’s wrong, everyone tries to talk you out of it. That’s fine. But I really think suicide is a logicalÂ action when you no longer have a desire to live (a lot more logical than continuing to do something you don’t want to do).

I lost my desire to live a year ago when something horrible happened. I held on for […]

2/9/2012 6 comments

it’s not the end of the world

by tphg 2/9/2012

written by tphg

Too many of us simply forget that our little problems won’t result in the end of the world.

Whether you were touched or neglected as a child, dumped in extraordinary fashion as a teen, or had the weight of life crush the very breath from you as an adult won’t have a direct impact on anything as a whole.

More of us need to realize this, I think, because then confronting the issue should be a bit easier. Be more free to try new approaches to your various problems, have the courage to speak up and say what’s on your mind. Have the strength to keep […]

2/9/2012 2 comments

again

by tphg 2/8/2012

written by tphg

go to work
go to my moms house
take care of my brother
get high
go to sleep
rinse/repeat
weekend!!!!!!!!
take care of my brother
get high
go to sleep

I do other things but…. I’m sitting here willing myself to get up and go back to my moms house for the evening but I just can’t. Even if I had my own apartment again, it’s all so unsatisfying. I want.. i dunno. A woman? That doesn’t sound right but I’m sure it’s what my body wants. My mind is the problem. My body is healthy and fit.. my mind just doesn’t want. Doesn’t want anything, […]

2/8/2012 2 comments

bleh

by tphg 2/8/2012

written by tphg

I always have such grand ideas for things to do during my lunch hour but I usually end up lazily browsing the national post website and wallowing in some self pity.

I would rather not have been born; I think all the time how I hate the various sensations that go along with occupying a living body. It’s all so draining, trying to find some level of contentment… I dunno.

I feel like, some time ago, I experienced heaven, but now I’m here. I’ve completely forgotten the experience of perfect happiness except for the lingering feeling that I’ve been better. I long for non-existence.

2/8/2012 2 comments

Newer Posts

Older Posts