I haven’t been diagnosed with a bipolar disorder but i am sure that i have it because it is impossible to have so many shifts of moods. It just isn’t normal. I am such an emotional brat. I can’t stand things going wrong. I had such a good week and experienced wonderful things and met so many people on this festival and now i am back to reality and to my responsilities. I just became so sad in one moment and now i feel so helpless because i can’t remember anything good to keep me on the righ path.
I am so mad at myself […]
Tag:
Failure
I’ve read lots of posts here over the last two years..
It seems like there are a lot of failed attempts..
so, without any ill intentions on my part..
Do random things just go wrong or something?
I’ve always been too scared to try because I know myself..
I’m a VERY huge perfectionist.. not toward others, just things I do..
So I know very well that I will not fail if I try..
That’s why I’ve never tried because I still have a small small hope..
and as long as I still have that tiny hope(even if that same tiny hope
feels so hollow or totally gone some days), I won’t try it yet..
So […]
I think, and think, and think.
Am i really worth it?
The one I love will never love me back, he loves my best friend who I now uses me, she doesn’t love him back and teases him but he stays her friend and it hurts me to see him, I cry for him, They think its best to leave me alone,but i don’t wanna be alone.
Am I truly worth it?
Im going to starve myself. I’m tired of being fat and ugly, and worthless. I just want somebody, but they don’t want me.
Am I honestly […]
Let me just begin by saying that i have contemplated suicide many times in my life time, mostly during my adolescence, but just recently also. I have been observing this page for a few days, and have been reading all of your posts.
I happened to stumble upon this article while searching near death experiences, and was amazed and humbled by the words so much that i began to cry. (not from sadness, but from the pure warmth of peace) I hope this brings you peace, and if not peace, a better understanding on why you are here now, and why we all MUST suffer sometimes… […]
I was ready to die today. I’ve been afraid of dying by stabbing myself or my organs, due to having severe abodyemigphobia. But my house is fairly tall, I could jump, I could at least break something if I didn’t die. I’ve been wanting to commit suicide for a while now, I’m a worthless human being, who would care? I’ve even posted death threats and not one person cared. So I was slowly opening my window, thinking that I was finally going to be free, that this was the right thing to do. But I heard my mom come in, and remembered how disappointed my […]
Im tired of living. You can work so hard for something and still end up with nothing. I keep chasing dreams that i think will make me happy but then realize that there is no such thing as happiness. I think to myself how i want kids someday and my time is running out but why would i want to bring a kid into this shitty world? Why would i want to hand over my mental issues to another human being through my genes just so they can suffer? Am i really seeing this miserable place for what it is and just giving up on […]
Well I’ve just failed at hat could possibly be the only salvation from this depression I could’ve had. But no, I’d rather seem to throw it all away and destroy myself. I can’t cope anymore, but mostly, I can’t cope with who I am anymore.
I feel as if im trapped in a body, that I can’t escape. I feel like I’m a failure for an unsuccessful suicide attempt. I always look back on that day and wish It worked, I cross roads without fully looking in hope ill get hit. I’m sick of putting on a happy front when I’m a mess inside. Mental illness is such cruel thing to happen to someone, and even though I hate it somehow I delve in it and some part of me wants to suffer, and I can’t understand why. I managed to keep on top of my illness for a steady […]
I have been a drug addict since I was 15. Â Ive had periods of sobriety the longest being four years however I am once again in active addiction. Â I am a failure in every sense of the word and all I want is to die. Â I have tried several times and just like everything else I try to do in my miserable life I failed. Â I am emotionally and spiritually dead already and have been for most of my life. Â Im 30 years old unemployed and live with my parents. Â Three years ago I owned a home with my beautiful fiance. Â I had all the […]
I am 39 years old I have thought about suicide since I was 6 years old. My life has always been so difficult. I had one person that kept me alive and that is my dad. I didn’t want to disappoint him. Now I live for my son but my life is imploding and I just think about dying more and more. It makes me sad to think of leaving my son but its just too much. I feel broken, bullied, abused, abandoned and alone. Today my husband let me know that I am a failure, an idiot, a fat fuck, a loser and a […]
Well, I’ve been depressed for 6 months now. I’ve been on this site for 3 months. My life fell apart during the first month of this year. I’m cutting my loses and trying to move on. I’ve actually made attempts to try to better myself as a person. I’m been going to psychiatrist for 3 months. I’ve decided on taking driving courses. I’ve also went back to the gym. Still, life bullshit keeps raining down on me and I’m finding out that I am my biggest hurdle. I look in the mirror and I see an enemy. I’ve messed up more times then I can […]
i feel like a failure…i cant do anything right….my very first love cheated on me…i cant pass my drivers test….my family looks at me like im some kind of freak…i don’t ever feel like i’m apart of them…i feel hated by them i feel like i don’t fit in with my own family…not even my own mother loved me…….i hate everything about my self…….i don’t have any help…no one listens to me no one hears me…..i have nothing no one so if anyone out there can help that would be much appreciated.
I finally got a job, which is wonderful. It’s helped me get out of the house, fill up my time, keep me busy and not feel so lonely. But the thing is… they are all so judgemental. It brings me down sometimes, I mean if they are talking about others like that, what are they saying about me?
First things first, I am a cutter, however I have always cut my legs, and the ones on my arms are done in such a way that they are either hidden or they just look like an accident. Anyway, there was a girl working for us for about […]
I have no clue what to do anymore. I’m losin all my friends my dads diei I’m a failure in school and work. I lost the one girl I loved cause I’m such an idiot. I fail at everything and I honestly don’t want to be alive anymore. I’ve never been so depressed in my life. I just want to end it all I drink myself crazy I cut, burn, scratch, and bite myself…I don’t know what to do anymore.
Thank you for reading my text because I feel totally alone right now. I grew with a rageful alcoholic mother who turned all her self-degregation on me. I always felt like a doll not a person and she was so very very scary–could slice with her words in a way that made you feel like nothing at all. But, I was well-liked at school and in sports– I tried so hard to be good. When I was a teenager, my father wrote me a letter telling me that I wasn’t worthy of being their daughter anymore. I had tried so […]
I literally can’t cry anymore. 8th grade year I cried so much that I think all my tears dissapeared. I don’t cry on the outside, I cry on the inside. I hurt so much on the inside, but I don’t show any appearance of it on the outside. Like, the emotions and feelings are there, but I just can’t let them out. They’re dying to escape my body, but I won’t let them. I’m not a loving person, and I’m definetly not endearing. I just want to hide, or crawl under a dark rock for awhile and have time to myself, ya know? Nobody at school […]
I have now realised that ever since I was young I loved helping other people even if I didn’t have enough for myself and/or if I had problems on my own.
Helping people enabled me to let out the positive and wisdom like me I can not seem trigger everyday. That is why I have been helping people.
But now I realised that because of giving too much of what may harm me and leave me helpless to the people who may not help me back in return.
I have been butchering parts of myself into someone today who is unstable and wants to help others […]
i suffer from:
depression
social anxiety
trichotillomania
anorexia
self harm
severe self loathing
daily (hourly) suicidal thoughts
and i’d say all of these have been keeping me from living my life the way i want to, they cause me to hurt others emotionally, and they’ve all been getting worse. i don’t know if i consider what i’m doing living, but rather merely staying alive; always wishing to drop dead any second.
What makes you want to end it all? That feeling that is sometimes so very hard to even put into words. Words that come to mind are unrelenting pain, lost, left with no sense of hope. It is like you are in a deep dark hole and there is no sign of light, no sign that you will ever get out. You don’t even see the top of the hole because you are so far down deep in the hole and you are all alone. As each day passes – it does just that – they pass you by. People pass by and no […]
New here.. Don’t quite know where to start. Didn’t even know these kinds of websites existed until recently. I suppose when you are used to holding everything in and just dismissing everything as, “It’s just an event..it wont last forever..” you never really end up looking for these types of websites. Until you do…and its kind of funny how you one can go from 100 to zero overnight. I’m currently at the zero right now. My fiancé and I got into a physical argument. Never before ending with me being badly bruised. My body feels pain…thats how I know I’m alive I guess. Excuse me if […]