I really just want to die… nobody cares any more… not my friends… not my family… nobody… I bet if I killed myself, no one would grieve…
family
I remember my recent birthday, it was horrible. My mom, and my dad kicked me to the dirt and left me to cry my eyes out in my bathroom because I went to a friends house that day (yes I did tell them). My dad smiled to me and said “happy fucking birthday”. How those words hurt me so much. And to this day I still don’t know what I did wrong. So much yelling and arguing, but for what? I don’t even know..
I also remember when I was supposed to go to a amusement park with some of my friends, but I got stressed […]
I think I’m going to commit suicide soon I’m so scared to do it I can’t take the pain anymore I’m going to leave letters for my family and friends none of my friends know about my depression and cutting not even my family knows it’s just weird how you look around the place you grew up and knowing that you won’t ever see this place again there’s a lot I want to do with my life but I got past that I don’t care about everything I wanted to do or the places I wanted to go I’ll be ok soon the pain will […]
Lately, I’m always in tears when I’m alone. I’m stressed and always nervous. I’m only 13 years old, turning 14 next week. My dad gambles and hides his money and refuses to get a better job. He tells my mom to get one. My mom is always cleaning and cooking and her left hand is barely moveable now. My brother has a job, but he doesn’t work hard anymore. His dream is to be a personal trainer. But I wonder if he’s given up that dream. He’s always gaming and talking to his new girlfriend who’s all the way in LA. He should be able […]
I feel like my issues are much different than anyone else’s. Not the depression and anxiety, I know that millions suffer from these mental illnesses. I don’t know what it is. Its along the lines of social phobia but it is even around close family and friends. I don’t know what to say. My mind is completely blank all of the time. Except for worried thoughts. Its like they consume my mind to the point I can’t even engage in simple conversation. Does anyone know what I am experiencing?
I’m tired of feeling like this every day. I keep waiting for the right time, that will hurt my family the least. In between birthdays. Far away from home. I wish it was simpler, that I could make my choice and fuck all the consequences. But I have this huge guilt about leaving my friends and family, especially my brothers and my mom.
I have had many failed attempts and this has hurt my family. I want to ensure everything is successful next time. I think obsessively about methods and timing, around 10-30 times a day. I’m on anti depressants but they don’t help. The only […]
I guess I’m just feeling alone and discouraged. I live with my friends and they are all at university, getting there lives together, and then there is me. The people I live with, their parents pay for everything for them, their rent, food, shopping. I have to pay for everything for myself. I may sound like I’m complaining but its very hard to watch your friends get things handed to them when you are struggling. Sometimes I wish I was born into a very rich family with parents who are never around or don’t really care for me. I don’t know what would be worse, […]
What does someone so broken and unloved have as the purpose of life?
Someone who has a loving family would live to make his/her family happy.
Someone who has love would live to protect them.
But what would be the purpose of life for someone who is broken, battered, unloved? Tell me, what is the purpose of me living?
I guess i could either give it a fancy title or just get to the point. Depression. Anxiety. Abuse.
I have actually not came out about it (abuse) and please do not think i am doing this so you feel sorry for me or anything! Yes at the age of 5 i was abused a lot till the age of 11. It wasn’t just by one person though. Since then i’ve always been scared and try my best to reduce attracting attention. i always blamed myself.
Last year, December, i realised i had depression and was diagnosed of it. Went to several people but none helped. Just […]
Hi! I’m going to remain anonymous but I’m a 13-year-old bigender person who has never really been happy. I doubt I’ll ever post here again because I have other places to vent (where I’ve posted this, but I feel really bad so I’m gonna write it again. For some reason it makes me feel better), and I prioritize those places. Anyway, here is me.
I was born to my dating high-school-sweethearts mother and father. They lived with my mom’s mother for two years after that before getting an apartment together (with me, of course). They didn’t love each other anymore. My dad says they weren’t even […]
after my one day stent in the ER, and the 5 day stent in the psyche ward, I became close to a lot of people in there. I exchanged phone numbers with about 5 people. They was like family to me. When I tried to call em, it all went directly to voicemail and I left a message but nobody returned my calls. Me and this one guy was planning on meeting up and going fishing.
My fear is – what if they just felt that fellowship on the inside, but once they got out they moved on? I heard stories about prisoners who promised to […]
It’s been … Around 3 days since I stopped taking my medication.. I’ve been feeling really lightheaded throughout the day and I guess it’s something normal? I stopped because I dont think it’s doing any good to me or changing any thoughts of suicide and self harm. Of course my family and doctors don’t know that I’ve stopped, but my family has noticed me not feeling too good so I just told them the truth that I’ve been having some headaches and feeling lightheaded and whatnot but they don’t really give it too much thought. I’m going back to lying to my friends and family […]
This is the first time I’ve done anything like this but I’m going to tell my story as best I can. I guess I’ll start by describing where I am now, physically and emotionally. I’m turned 21 this year and study engineering, of which I have completed 3 of the 8 semesters. Based on my academic record I’m a good student (or so they say) but the political situation in my country makes it difficult to acquire scholarships for one of my ethnicity (not that I need it as my family is quite well to do). Haven’t had a relationship in one year+, don’t have […]
Alright well I can say I’m ok but I’d be lying. Then again it might be better to lie and smile and act as if I am ok and nothing is wrong… this is what I tell myself when ever anyone asks are you ok…or how are you… I guess its time I be honest. Well its been happening since age 6. My mom ain’t in the room, or my at school teaching, at the store whichever. So me and my dad and brother are home. We seem to get in arguements alot my brother overreacts easily as well as my dad next thing i […]
10 months ago my girlfriend of 9 years left me. We kept in contact the entire time. There was hope. Sometimes a lot of it… Sometimes little… But the hope to get back together was always there. As of yesterday though, that hope is gone. She’s far away… with someone else… and wont be coming back now. She was my first and i was hers… I was 25 and she was 18. Aside from some problems here and there, i thought it would last forever.
I was never interested in a relationship until i met her. Never looked for one. Never slept around. I had a […]
I feel like if I could just feel happy sometimes, I could make it happen more often. Is there anyone else who hardly remembers being happy? I have better times, but they’re still painful. I still feel virtually powerless over my depression. I feel like I should have it figured out by now. It’s been years.
I looked in the mirror earlier, and apart from the walking stick and dressing gown, I looked like an ordinary healthy person. Some days I can function almost completely normally, and I think I must have been exaggerating – I hardly remember what the worst days were like. But it […]
I always wished to be invisible when in class but for some Reason I going what I wanted but not the way I wanted I was always noticed by my pears and unnoticed my my family or maybe just ignored I don’t know I have depression also I’m dyslexic and have dyslexic it’s “OK” to have dyslexica and have dyslexic but depression NOOOOO! That can’t be how can the people how love you not notice that I have something wrong with me I admit I’m good at hiding things or trying to ” thanks to school” but we see each other everyday just HOW ?. […]
June 27, 2015 at 6:15 AM
From: Kathryn Marie Hunter (Me)
To: Rick and Maggie Hunter (My parents)
This letter may come as a surprise to you, but I assure that it was a long time coming. Before this past week, I didn’t have the support to do this, but now I’m surrounded by people willing to help. This isn’t to upset you, but rather to give you a rude awakening.
The Katy you know is not the real one. The real me has hidden from you since 3rd grade, and has stayed in hiding until now. You have not noticed this, as you believe fallacies, and deny the […]
wow…. reading through a few peoples stories i have def found the right site. i had no idea anything like this existed. wish i had found this place sooner.
basically i have been in a living hell for the past 4 years, on a downward spiral is an understatement. short version is probably very familiar to a lot of others here.
a toxic mixture of a bad choice of friends, all kinds of drugs and what i can only describe as “shitty luck” has left me with constant uncontrollable anxiety/panic, painful intrusive memories that i wish i could forget, loss of ALL social function etc etc and […]
I’m back. It’s been awhile, though little has gotten better.. School is stressing me out, one of my close friends has gone distant, and the cherry on top: my stepdad (the only father I’ve ever had in my life) has Kidney cancer… I tried to tell my friend about it, and she flat out says “I don’t want any bad news.” And I’m dumbfounded, so I apologize.. For trying to tell her something important, what’s wrong with me? And how could a friend be so ignorant to another friend’s problem… Especially one as bad as a family member having cancer. Heh.. It’s easier to tell […]