Why?
I am tired of asking the same fucking question
I am tired of smiling when inside i feel like i am dying
I am tired of the fucking bullshit
I am tired of lies
Don’t i deserve the truth??
Why does everybody seem to love screaming at me?
Fuck
Why did i have to be born??
Urrgh
Bone crushing pain i feel everyday
Tired of this cycle repeating
Tired of begging for help
Tired of feeling alone
Tired of myself
Tired of not being enough
Tired of making eveyone else happy
Tired of being left out
Tired of hoping for nothing
Tired of dreamless […]
Tag:
feel
-i need help. i don’t know if i want it. i don’t know if i’m ready for it. i don’t know the right way to get it. i just know i need it. i don’t know who i am. i don’t feel like a living person. my mind doesn’t exist inside my body now. i live in an illusion. i feel connected to the world, but i’m alone in a box with nobody else. my best friends don’t exist. they’re maybe out there somewhere but i haven’t met them. i won’t meet them. i’d give anything to meet them and have them in my life. […]
Are we?
Few people that fairly close to me are calling me that. They didn’t say it directly to my face. I stumble upon their post on social media because apparently word just got out that I leave everyone because I have depression. And of course, just like any other community or society in these world, most of them thought that depression isn’t real. “It’s all in your head”. “Try and be happy”. “You need to have a reason to move forward”. You know the deal. All these motivational quotes they get on Pinterest/Tumblr.
It does, however, make me think. Do I (we?) really need the attention? Am I an attention seeker? Maybe […]
It takes a lot of courage to end your suffering
and even more courage to live through it
…. unfortunately, I have the courage for neither
Hello, everyone. First post here. Found this site about a week ago, and have been reading quite many posts since then. Maybe I should introduce myself… I am a man, just below 40, living in one of the Scandinavian countries. My life has been ok overall, aside for some suicide thoughts in my late teens, but I guess I was never serious about it then. Up until early august, my life has been fine, until it crashed completely. Even the day before […]
I’ve come to believe that medication and therapy are nothing more than distractions and lies meant to blind people to the truth.
When I view society, it’s obsession with reality television, celebrities, and it’s influence on buying happiness, I see proof. When I watch the news, I see horrible disasters. I see people dying, people being murdered, people being slain. I see greed, pain, and suffering. I see war, drought, famine. And of course, what do they always do after these stories play? They find something trivial to distract you from the issues of the world. They tell you about Beyonce’s latest album, or some dipshit story about […]
Ok I… I… I am sorry. I know you don’t want that. I know you feel awkward or that… You would feel awkward. And I am sorry. The thing is I think I fell for you. I am sorry. I really am. Your smile, your kindness, your open-mindedness, your eyes, your… everything. I fell for it. And I am so sorry. I’m sorry for myself because once again that is gonna be a one-way love leading to a one-way street of despair. I will try my best not to make you realise how I feel about you. You know what ? Two weeks ago, I […]
from the perspective of the proverbial ‘watcher’ my life is pretty perfect, i suppose. I live in a beautiful house with a beautiful man who tells me i’m beautiful. we’re engaged and getting married. . the natural progression of this version of life, to settle down and squirt out children… for the last five years, no for ever, i have thought that i wanted that. to settle and breed… and everything would just make sense when my life was no longer my own. but i am literally in the process of realising that i DONT actually want this, i have but one life and im […]
I always have to ask myself are you crazy ? Whats wrong with you ? i wish i was able to answer myself but im so ashamed . sometimes i dont even wanna loook at myself in the mirror & my family is worried because im isolating myself but its just something thats pushing me away . They tell me to talk and express myself but when i do they correct me & tell me thats not how i feel ! i mean wouldnt you be tired of life , especially after you lost everything & basically your soul to !
Follow up from my last post where I admitted to my sister I needed mental help. Usually admitting you need help is a great first step to getting better. I guess that all really depends on who you admit it to, though, and I made a huge mistake in my choice apparently.
I really feel like im out of touch lately. Kinda droning on by..just on auto-pilot most of the times. My visions been getting weird and im having bouts of dizziness every now and then. I feel like im in pain both physically and emotionally that its just been one drug after another. Hell, just the other night i wrapped up ‘life is strange’ with a cocktail of rum two painkillers, a muscle relaxer and my sereoquel to top it off. And i was still awake and in pain into odd hours of the morning…feel like im growing a little dependant on popping pills just to […]
Felo-de-se
Why did I have to be born this way?
Life’s a game, I’ll no longer play
Humiliated, degraded with every word that’s spoke
Why am I just a pathetic joke?
Why did I have to be born this way?
In a world like this, I’ll no longer stay
Treated like shit from the moment I awoke
The toughest of souls would find themselves broke
Why keep on living you disgusting, cock-less freak?
The same familiar words from all those whom bother to speak
Isn’t it wrong to treat me this way?
Why the fuck would I want to stay?
Just a pathetic tiny dick joke
Made to feel worthless […]
14 year old girl. Anxiety makes up my life. Can’t do anything, can’t see anyone, can’t be anyone. I get sick to my stomach with anxiety every morning before school. Someone help with these attacks. They are killing me.
I just feel so shit all the time, everything I do always turns out wrong. My anxiety stops me from doing everything and I hate the fact I can’t do anything about it. I’m so scared to even speak to someone. I feel so useless now, no point doing anything if it never turns out right. I just generally just can’t do this, not fitting in anywhere. […]
Hi I’m a 14 year old girl who suffers with anxiety, however I have yet to be diagnosed. I diagnosed myself because it’s really not that hard to know you have it when all you do is worry or have panic attacks. I would love to speak to my doctor but my mum just doesn’t understand anything about anxiety or depression so that’s why I keep it all in. The one thing that gets me worried is arguments with friends, I start to get paranoid that the other friends I have don’t like me either so I push them away until I have no one to […]
Imagine if you will a dark room painted with light and shadow. Objects stand in various positions casting different images, but something is wrong. Shouldn’t the light cast the shadows? No, instead in this case, the Shadows are casting light. The objects, enveloped in the deep black have somehow determined to paint it with some sort of luminescence. But this imaginary construct does not exist, in fact, beyond being impossible, it is metaphorically maddening. Yet, this is the image of myself , of the tears , that fade into black , because they are themselves black , they are the blood of the world that […]
So I admitted to my sister yesterday that I need mental help. I’ve been trying to deal with my depression and anxiety myself, but this week has been one long, constant breakdown. I heard a train go through town yesterday and my first thought was, “I wish I was there to jump in front of it.” And I realized I’m not strong enough to handle it myself anymore, if I ever was.
Welp, started drinking around 5. It is almost midnight am I’m still drunk as fuk. I wish I could feel happy sober
I have been tired of breathing recently as I don’t feel the same anymore. My entire life has been going downhill and I am falling apart. People around my school notice how depressed and lonely I really am but they obviously don’t give a fuck, they end up making fun of me because im always depressed and they also gave me a new nickname which is “depression”. So instead of trying to help me get better they just make fun of me because I always seem down and depressed. I honestly wouldn’t mind dying sooner or later because nobody gives a flying fuck about me […]
hello !!
this is going to be a v quick entry mainly because i feel loads better !!
dont have time to dwell on sad feelings
sending good vibes to all of you & wishing you have good luck !!
thanks for all of your support
It’s been a long time since I was last here. About a year and half, to be exact. I thought I was really getting better but in the last few months, everything seems to be spiraling down again. I’ve read that it’s therapeutic to write about it, so hopefully this will help me.
In July, my boyfriend of seven months, Alex, broke up with me. He was everything I had wanted in a person and I woke up everyday with an overwhelming amount of happiness that I thought the years of suicidal thoughts and depression were finally leaving my mind.
If only I knew how wrong I […]
I have felt all day like I needed to cut or do something to make me feel better, the feelings and thoughts are making me feel like I have no where to go and no one to talk to..I keep it bottled up and I keep to myself and now I am trying to make it through the day and all I want to do is hurt myself. I feel like I am pathetic and a looser. I just need someone to talk to… is there anyone out there? or am I just trapped in the dark….