These past few days I’ve been trying to stay as positive as I can. Thinking positive thoughts, trying to smile more (even if I don’t feel like smiling)But, it’s getting harder and harder to keep smiling, when all I want to do is the exact opposite. I try to say positive quotes in my head but it’s like my negative thoughts over power my positive ones, and I end up listening to them. How do I stay positive, when my mind is trying so hard to fight me? How do you guys stay positive? What makes you smile, when you’re depressed, and have no hope? […]
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feel
today, was bound to be a horrible day. i woke up feeling like a failure. thinking about my future. I know I’m young but please don’t bash me about how I’m feeling. I was thinking about me graduating, and how everything’s gonna change. everyone’s going there separate ways, and everybody will be happy, then I think of me, how everything’s gonna just get worse for me.it always seems to be so great for everyone else, but when it comes to me it’s a whole different story. I feel like the universe is out to get me sometimes. And it’s just so overwhelming. I’ll be […]
my heart: broken into a million pieces, my brain: shattered, my soul: no where to be found. I feel as if my body roams this earth but I am already deceased into the dark shadowy pits of hell with no where to go but down. I can physically feel the overwhelming heat burning through my body. my cries for help are consistent and as loud as atomic bombs hitting the ground. yet, no one seems to hear a thing. I’ve realized I’ve fallen so deep in this trance that no one is there to hear me now. hitting rock bottom is an understatement, people go […]
I honestly dont think i will ever be happy! i try so hard to be happy, i really do but i have too many problems. im too stressed and depressed! i dont know how to deal with it anymore. i honestly feel like i have nobody! theres nobody for me to talk to about how i feel, i dont know how to talk to my friends and family about how im feeling so i usually just keep it all bottled up inside. and it has all just gotten too much me! i need someone to talk to, someone that will help and be there for […]
After reading several posts and bawling my eyes out and then registering for the sight i feel to tired to write the feelings i wanted to share in the first place. Im just so tired all the time and tired of being tired. I really want to start taking my meds but the streets are so busy on the way to the pharmacy. I get anxious just thinking about the trip. Why do i feel so much hate from people and why cant i go anywhere and know im safe and my belongings will be unmolested when i return. Instead i hide knowing i will […]
This is my first actual post on this site so i don’t wanna make it super long. I don’t even know where to start to be honest. Okay, day after day i realize how much i’m not. i barely even go outside anymore sorry i mean i never go outside anymore only when i need too i guess because i feel like there’s no reason for me to even be out there only when i feel like walking my dogs, i usually go out btw i’m 18 i know i shoudn’t feel like this.
I have really bad social anxiety and a bunch of other stuff. […]
I absolutely hate how I can push and try and feel a little better one night then the next morning when I wake up it’s like an elephant on my chest and I am depressed that I woke up. I try and tell myself it’s not so bad but the physical part of anxiety and depression hurts so bad, add in OCD thoughts it it’s like living in hell. Medication doesn’t help, therapy doesn’t help. All I want from life is for once not be upset that I woke up. To feel a sense of normal. I am jealous (and happy too) when people post […]
The worst part of my situation, engulfing emotional pain from loss of love (and I am just below 40, not a teenager), is that I find no consolation. I guess I’ve most often been an agnostic concerning most things both religious, esoteric, “supernatural”, etc. So many days and sleepless nights I have prayed to, like I think Diem S Sky said, a “nameless entity” for something. To a god or goddess, dead family or forefathers, angels, demons, spirits, just *anyone* or *anything* that might have heard me. And I’ve felt nothing. I’ve asked for so many things. I know there are only three options for […]
Can I just say a small quiet hello to all the lonely people out there.
((Please note this is a rant… Save yourself the time reading it, basically I have no friends and life’s challenges are overwhelming)).
I found this place at the beginning of the year during a real low point of obsessive suicide ideation. I got through it, I’m still here.
I managed to find a freak like me who loves me. He’s the best. He has a lot of friends and the prettiest face I’ve ever seen, the biggest heart and scars, more scars than I could kiss in one night.
I used to read people’s […]
Im 30 years old and have realized my mental problems started at a young age. Now being married for almost 10 years with 2 kids i feel like i cant go on anymore. Im socially irresponsable. Cant hold a job down. Have no savings and just down right a sorry excuse for a human in every aspect of the phrase. Ive cut off pretty much every relationship ive ever had with anyone because i got tired of letting people down. Ive been a manipulator since being malested by a neighbor at age 7 and never speaking up about it. Ive contiplated this for some time […]
I just feel so empty..I’m so tired of the same bullshit lines.
“It’s okay.”
“It’s a phase, it’ll pass.”
“It get’s better.”
It doesn’t fucking feel like it. Nothing will ever be okay. I’m just a waste of space and I have no purpose on this planet. I wish I could just disappear. I wish death was an easy process because this life doesn’t seem worth living. No one honestly gives a shit. I tried to reach out for help but I’m just laughed at. Ignored even.
“You don’t even have anything to be depressed about.”
“Just get over it.”
I wish it was that easy. I hate feeling this way. I […]
We can survive pain and lost, but how to survive injustice? What to do when all what you one day believed is pulverized in front of your eyes? What to do when you are being punish without a reason and you feel lost? Where to find that little thing, that miraculous thing that will make you wake up and try again?
One day after many years of fail intends and hardship you arrive to the place you want to live, then you are happy as you was not before in your whole life. You have a life, is not a perfect life, you have problems […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Need your thoughts, since I cannot ask people in “real life”… Please, fellow human beings, give me your thoughts.
written by freedomseeker
Hey guys, I’ve been writing quite frequently here for a few weeks/months. Something has been troubling my life and I don’t know what to think about it, how I should feel about it, I don’t know what it is and I was thinking that maybe your thoughts might help me. I don’t need any psychologist’s or any doctor’s thoughts. Just thoughts from/by fellow human beings. As long as it is sincere, it is perfect. Here the “troubling thing”:
I haven’t really identified myself as a lesbian. The people I fell in love with have always been men. Sexually I’m stil more attracted to men. I am […]
I’m sorry if I am not allowed to ask this. Also sorry if this subject upsets or triggers anyone.
For those of you that cut,
do you do it quickly or slowly.
Is it one single swipe, or do you take your time and pick at it.
Do you always make a new cut or do you revisit old or recent cuts.
Do you feel what you would class as a normal amount of pain given what you are doing.
Do you dress the wounds yourself or do you ever go to the hospital afterwards.
I’d just like to know if I am the same.
I have never been alright and I never will be alright.
And tonight I lack the strength to even move
When you walked, now watch me die
But I know this is harder for you
For love has let you down and come on
And no, you’re not alone
And the road ahead is lined with broken dreams
So walk, yeah, walk on by
And I failed to give you everything you need
For the fear’s behind your eyes
When I cant feel you
I’m not alright, not alright
When I cant heal you
I’m not alright, I’m not alright, I’m not alright
When I cant feel you
I’m […]
I loved him until my last breath. I’m just so tired of hurting people. I fucked up. I hurt him badly. I didn’t mean to. He made me feel like I was worth something. Like I could do anything. He was the only one who made me feel that way. He hates me now. That’s okay. I hate me too. I always have. He made the voices go away. He made the nightmares go away. But now they’re back and stronger than ever. There’s something mesmerizing about blood running down a shower drain. Getting a little dizzy.. Maybe this is it. I’m sorry. You guys […]
I almost can’t feel anything .. like the emptiness is taking over me .. and the lost is soo close ,, I can’t /don’t want To think anymore ,, it can be a little satisfying but soo … I don’t know what .! like a vortex .. maybe better to stay numb this way .. or I don’t know a thing anymore …
“You need to find a reason to stay alive”
A simple and annoying sentence that people used each time I come to them to explain about how I’m having suicidal thoughts. It’s easier said than done. While I hate it so much because they kept on replaying it like some kind of broken radio, I do realize it’s because they can’t really do anything about it. About me. I tried and be open about my situation to my most trusted friend. We argue a little about how she didn’t reach me and try to help. But in her defense, there’s nothing to help when I can’t […]
I hang out with a group of friends.but i feel left out most of the time. I have more friends then my group of about 5 but the jave there own groups. I need some one to talk to before i lose my mind. I feel alone and i want it to stop please.