im always sad i dont know why, i have people that care but nothing makes me feel better
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feel
I dont really know where to start with this… some peoples stories start off with them being abused or something but i can’t really pinpoint as to how i ever felt like this. I was bullied when i was 10 and up until secondary school for various things but i thought i had coped with all that. When i was 13 i first self harmed, and I’ve told my story so many times and it still sounds stupid every single time. I remember the very first time I hurt myself and my oh my it felt so good. I won’t go into details as to […]
Highly unlikely…… I know. But I am getting creative at this point. I have heard their teeth are so sharp you only feel pressure and I would hope adrenaline would take care of the rest. I could swim alone at the beach at night and temp fate lol. Shark week is coming up afterall.
I don’t understand myself. I am truly privileged; I have a family that puts me in their best interests, friends who care about me, I’m not poor, not sick, I live an average middle class life and I have no hope for it.
A future that would satisfy me is not realistic. In order to anticipate the future I would have to be a different person and be extremely lucky. I dread the future and feel haunted by the past. A friend told me to focus on the present but I struggle to find pure happiness in my present life.
I know what should make me happy […]
:'( :'( :'( I don’t know how to start from but the pain is killing inside me..my granny woke up at 5 in the morning and came over to my house just to convince me to go to school..she was ill but still she came..what if i lose her? i turned her down…i despise myself…but i had no other option..i dont want to go to school.
i feel like dying..the guilt is killing me… :'( :'( :'(
Time has gone by and no marked improvement of my depression…what am i gonna do with myself, those people on the phone told me that no depression lasts forever… i think they were lying just to make me stay and watch me suffer a little more. Pills pills pills, after pills, having to look at my family each day and fail them again and again and watching their face as they feel sorry for me…asking the sky for a miracle so i can stand on my own two feet and live on my own and not depend on others… well oh well…. how marvelous. these […]
Today I had to see the doctor. He upped my medication. I went about my errands ignoring the everyday,past and future stresses that plague my mind, constant racing to be on work on time, get paid this week, please my loved one and not crash and burn. The bustle on the other hand gives my life substance but I feel a balance will fall askew. My job in sales gives me a certain social interaction I have craved in my life but it has also shown me the harsh truth about human kind and their mindset. People and their brains are easily manipulated and like […]
It has no title cause I can’t think of one. Here it is.
I tried to figure out
Why my heart is full of doubt
Once I felt love, then I was betrayed
Felt life crumble, and begin to fade
Paranoid, my mind filled with lies
who I am I began to despise
so I took myself and I hurled
my heart to the ground, and shattered my world
I became nothing, no love, no pain
Just held razor blades to my vein
I cut deeper and deeper, just to feel
till pain and pleasure became real
but got carried away, and cut too deep
at last my friends, I can sleep
So, I’ve never used a site like this… I don’t know if this post will even publish, knowing my luck it won’t and I’ll have got all anxious for nothing. Okay, maybe I should start with the suicide story?
I don’t know what has led to me becoming depressed (or, as my psychiatric nurse calls it “in low mood, because depressed is such a negative word”) I’ve never suffered any traumatic experiences and I didn’t have a bad childhood. I can’t even pin point the first time I ever felt so low. I can tell you though that each time I hit a low point, it […]
Hello, my name is Martijn. I’m a 15 year old boy. I’ve had a depression before when I was about 12. It lasted about a year. Ive been in therapy and been taking medication since then. The following 3 years of my life have been great. But half a year ago, I started fealing anxious again. strange, violent toughts towards me and the people around me popped op in my head. I often felt empty, as in a dream but i couldn’t ‘wake up’. It felt like I didn’t use my medication anymore, wich I have to control my anxiety. Since then, I started feeling […]
(I realise that all of them are bad in one way or another) but I want to know specific ones I should definitely avoid. I’m going to see a psychiatrist tomorrow and the nurse told me that because of my assessment results I will most likely be prescribed antidepressants, so I want to come in prepared. I would be very thankful if any of you could advice me on this; I don’t want to get side-effects that will make me feel worse than I already do.
How do you fear your own mind?
Your own actions?
Your own feelings?
I have no control
I just feel and think terrible things unwillingly.
Help
I want to scream
I want to Cry
I’m just scared
Everything I do to help me hurts other people.
I don’t want anyone else to feel this way.
I just don’t want to either.
Can anyone hear me.
I feel like im screaming in room filled with people but no one can hear me!
Im right here.
It hurts. I’m scared
I DONT WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS
IT ISNT MY CHOICE
PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.
I’m not crazy !
I’m not a freak
I’m Scared !
Why wont anyone listen?
Why Am I alone ?
Why don’t you care?
Listen if you’re still in school, it’s fair to say you’re going to have your fair share of heart ache and heart breaks. Your boyfriend or girlfriend who left you is not worth your life though. Just trust me. You’re young and will probably have several loves when you’re a teenager or young adult. It’s just part of being young, innocent and maybe a touch immature. And I don’t mean that in a bad way. The break up will feel like the worst thing you’ve ever felt before. You’ll feel like there will never be another person who you will love, or who will love […]
“Things will get better” is what people usually say when you’re depressed.I don’t see that happening I see things getting worse.I tell my “friends” i just feel like dying.They don’t even ask whats wrong,They just tell me to not give up.I have all these feelings and things trapped inside of me.I figure if I go they wouldn’t care.School is worse I like to be one of those non social kids the more I get away the more noticeable I am. I’m fine with people calling me weirdo no one is normal but being called the devil,Satan,Satanic because of my music and my style really gets […]
I don’t think I want this, but what am I saying? I never did.
This isn’t the life I ever wanted to live. I used to have so many hopes and dreams… And now? There’s… Nothing. Just broken remains of the buildings of my hopes and dreams, shattered by those who thought lesser of me, as if their cruel words could never hurt me. But not just them. The family never helped me, if anything, they made it worse. This isn’t where I should be starting though. The suicidal feelings, the depression, everything like that, developed at around the age of 7. […]
You know when you’re struggling. When you flit between completely numb and vomit inducing crying & pain where you can’t get up off the floor. When you have no one. And in the darkness you try to reach out to someone. Open up just a little. Try to explain why you are what you are, why you feel what you feel and why you hurt the people around you even though you don’t mean to. And all you get back is they’re ‘disappointed’?
I never trust people and this has reminded me why. I can’t form any kind of relationship, even a simple friendship is beyond me. I […]
I feel insane, like i’ll never be happy. Even though i strive so hard to be happy. Yet i feel as if there is fire in my skin, and i am drowning within’. I can’t trust nor really open up to people.. i can feel them judging.. no one understands the concept of depression around here.. they just think you are ‘sick’ .. that’s all you’ll hear “She’s sick, look at her wrist” “She needs to be put away” .. But they don’t get the constant darkness taking over your mind.. Out of all honesty if i were to do it.. I’d make it look […]
You know what? I’m not feeling suicidal, I don’t feel like cutting. I just feel empty. There’s just a huge empty hole that’s inside me and it’s leaving me very uncertain. My parents want me to think about life, especially since this is my senior year, but they don’t understand that I don’t see myself living after I turn 18. Let me explain: I don’t mean that I’m gonna commit suicide, or anything like that, it’s just I can’t see myself in the future after 18. I can’t imagine going to college, traveling the world, having kids, getting married. I know that normal people can […]
I’m gunna be straight forward and say I’ve never attempted suicide. I’ve thought about it many times, but never tried. The main reason I haven’t is because I’m scared. Everything in my life has been determined through safety. I’m scared of almost everything. I scared to let people in, to talk to people, to do something wrong, to look stupid, or to let people down (just to name a few). My parents constantly fight and I go most days without having a real conversation with anyone. My friends and family all have this expectation of how they feel I should be. Which is smiling, happy, quiet, […]
I don’t know how to feel about myself right now. I have been doing so many wrong things, just so I don’t feel bad. Just so at the end I feel worse. Too many parties, to many guys… Not so much shots. I feel so lost.